Moms..I need help
- Thread starter libertytyranny
- Start date
One of the best Cosby skits EVER.
LT, I didn't want a gaggle of people or a peanut gallery while I was in delivery either. Actually, in the military hospitals I gave birth in, they didn't allow many at the same time. A friend of mine has a 19yo son whose 19yo GF just gave birth a few months ago. They must have invited their entire FB friends list, there were so many people and I can't believe the hospital allowed it! 
I didn't even want the mirror to watch any of the goings on either. I don't recall it being around on the first one (Pax River, 19 yrs ago) The 2nd one (Portsmouth Naval Medical Ctr) there was a mirror and the doctor or someone actually said "oh, you're going to regret it, you have to look" and proceeded to position the mirror. I just gave them the worst stink eye I could muster and told them to get the fricking mirror out of there. :shrug:
But I have to say, this thread has been very entertaining. Keep it for reading later, because there's some pretty funny stuff in it!
I didn't even want the mirror to watch any of the goings on either. I don't recall it being around on the first one (Pax River, 19 yrs ago) The 2nd one (Portsmouth Naval Medical Ctr) there was a mirror and the doctor or someone actually said "oh, you're going to regret it, you have to look" and proceeded to position the mirror. I just gave them the worst stink eye I could muster and told them to get the fricking mirror out of there. :shrug:
But I have to say, this thread has been very entertaining. Keep it for reading later, because there's some pretty funny stuff in it!
n0n1m0us3
why so serious
LT, I didn't want a gaggle of people or a peanut gallery while I was in delivery either. Actually, in the military hospitals I gave birth in, they didn't allow many at the same time. A friend of mine has a 19yo son whose 19yo GF just gave birth a few months ago. They must have invited their entire FB friends list, there were so many people and I can't believe the hospital allowed it!
I didn't even want the mirror to watch any of the goings on either. I don't recall it being around on the first one (Pax River, 19 yrs ago) The 2nd one (Portsmouth Naval Medical Ctr) there was a mirror and the doctor or someone actually said "oh, you're going to regret it, you have to look" and proceeded to position the mirror. I just gave them the worst stink eye I could muster and told them to get the fricking mirror out of there. :shrug:
But I have to say, this thread has been very entertaining. Keep it for reading later, because there's some pretty funny stuff in it!
When I had my daughter there were so many people there. I wasn't too thrilled but I think it helped my husband out (the nurse had to give him smelling salts lol) and the support was good for him. Me though, I was in pain and pumped full of pain killers, and when my daughters heart rate started dipping with each contraction I was scared. Even after having her I was so doped up on Morphine and whatnot I could barely interact and I felt sick. I really didn't want to deal with the crowd. That's why I rarely visit my friends at the hospital after they've had a kid unless my presence is requested, because I know that sometimes it just is too much.
SoccerMom2
New Member
I got cut. You do not want to tear. Make it very clear with your doctor you want to be cut if needed.
Liberty - it's your first baby, you will more than likely tear at some point. The size and position of your baby will more or less dictate the degree of the tear. No matter the progress of your labor the final couple of pushes when the baby is far enough down to actually stretch your perineum only lasts a couple of minutes. Clean cut episiotomies are far better than nasty tears. There really is no way to predict - I have seen 7 lb babies cause 4th degree tears and 10lb. babies delivered over intact perineums. Much depends on the position of the baby's head - face down is easiest, but they can come out face up or any other way in between. Instrumental delivery (vaccum or forceps) does increase the change of tearing, but not always and with an experienced MD many women don't tear with that either.
I have seen tears in people who have religiously done perineal massage in the last weeks of pregnancy and none in people that don't even know what that is. The nurse can do the massage while you are pushing, but too much causes swelling, especially in a first time mom, and that will make you tear worse.
Bottom line is some sort of at least small tear is to be expected the first time. Does it happen every time? No, but that is unusual in term pregnancies. Your anatomy, size and position of the baby will determine how it goes. Gone are the days of routine episiotomies, but sometimes a cut would have been better. Try to relax about it and STOP GOOGLING!!!!!!!!!!! Get a good pregnancy book and concentrate on that.
I have seen tears in people who have religiously done perineal massage in the last weeks of pregnancy and none in people that don't even know what that is. The nurse can do the massage while you are pushing, but too much causes swelling, especially in a first time mom, and that will make you tear worse.
Bottom line is some sort of at least small tear is to be expected the first time. Does it happen every time? No, but that is unusual in term pregnancies. Your anatomy, size and position of the baby will determine how it goes. Gone are the days of routine episiotomies, but sometimes a cut would have been better. Try to relax about it and STOP GOOGLING!!!!!!!!!!! Get a good pregnancy book and concentrate on that.
Goobergrl6
New Member
OK I did not read all the replies because quite frankly stupid people bug me.
For the most part tearing is BETTER. It heals easier, is generally smaller then the cut would of been (you will only tear as much as you need to where as a cut is as big as the dcotor thinks you might need). Imagine this, is it easier to tape together, exactly right, 2 pieces of paper that were cut, or is it easier to match up 2 jagged pieces to see where they fit together before? Here are some links that back it up.
Episiotomy: When it's needed, when it's not - MayoClinic.com
All about episiotomy | BabyCenter
To help avoid a tear make sure you are doing perineal massages before you deliver. Also your doctor can do them while the baby is coming down to help streach out those muscles.
For the most part tearing is BETTER. It heals easier, is generally smaller then the cut would of been (you will only tear as much as you need to where as a cut is as big as the dcotor thinks you might need). Imagine this, is it easier to tape together, exactly right, 2 pieces of paper that were cut, or is it easier to match up 2 jagged pieces to see where they fit together before? Here are some links that back it up.
Episiotomy: When it's needed, when it's not - MayoClinic.com
All about episiotomy | BabyCenter
To help avoid a tear make sure you are doing perineal massages before you deliver. Also your doctor can do them while the baby is coming down to help streach out those muscles.
lnmarsh
Love * Luck * Faith
Liberty -
You are so very lucky to have a little one on the way. This thread really got to me for some reason and I didnt even read all of it.
I dont have kids. My littleone was due November 7th but she just didnt make it that far. The only advice I have is 1.) Continue to be good to yourself and your baby (people try to make everything about the baby when you're pregnant but its not just about the baby, its about you and your wishes, too) and 2.) if you are feeling unsure about your OB, get a new one. I hated mine and wish I had switched. I was terrified having her do my surgery, let alone deliver a baby. Not to say she wasnt qualified... I just wasnt comfortable with her. Im getting the vibe you feel the same with yours? Forgive me if my vibe is wrong
Ive heard its better to get cut, but I dont personally know so no advice there. Sorry.
Good luck and I fully expect to see pictures of your littleone when he/she comes!
You are so very lucky to have a little one on the way. This thread really got to me for some reason and I didnt even read all of it.
I dont have kids. My littleone was due November 7th but she just didnt make it that far. The only advice I have is 1.) Continue to be good to yourself and your baby (people try to make everything about the baby when you're pregnant but its not just about the baby, its about you and your wishes, too) and 2.) if you are feeling unsure about your OB, get a new one. I hated mine and wish I had switched. I was terrified having her do my surgery, let alone deliver a baby. Not to say she wasnt qualified... I just wasnt comfortable with her. Im getting the vibe you feel the same with yours? Forgive me if my vibe is wrong
Ive heard its better to get cut, but I dont personally know so no advice there. Sorry.
Good luck and I fully expect to see pictures of your littleone when he/she comes!
libertytyranny
Dream Stealer
Liberty -
You are so very lucky to have a little one on the way. This thread really got to me for some reason and I didnt even read all of it.
I dont have kids. My littleone was due November 7th but she just didnt make it that far. The only advice I have is 1.) Continue to be good to yourself and your baby (people try to make everything about the baby when you're pregnant but its not just about the baby, its about you and your wishes, too) and 2.) if you are feeling unsure about your OB, get a new one. I hated mine and wish I had switched. I was terrified having her do my surgery, let alone deliver a baby. Not to say she wasnt qualified... I just wasnt comfortable with her. Im getting the vibe you feel the same with yours? Forgive me if my vibe is wrong
Ive heard its better to get cut, but I dont personally know so no advice there. Sorry.
Good luck and I fully expect to see pictures of your littleone when he/she comes!
Yes, and reading a few of your comments got to me, as I have already had to deal with a threatened misscarriage a few weeks ago. It is tough..and I am so sorry you had to deal with that, But know that I have had SEVERAL friends who had miscarriages who now have gorgous babies/toddlers. I still worry just about every second of the day
but I have decided to be positive and plan.as for the tearing fear..it hasn't subsided a bit
in fact it has prompted me to look at midwives instead of an OB birth..we shall see. Thanks for all of the comments on here guys..and for no one making fun of me.
lnmarsh
Love * Luck * Faith
Yes, and reading a few of your comments got to me, as I have already had to deal with a threatened misscarriage a few weeks ago. It is tough..and I am so sorry you had to deal with that, But know that I have had SEVERAL friends who had miscarriages who now have gorgous babies/toddlers. I still worry just about every second of the day
as for the tearing fear..it hasn't subsided a bit
Thanks for the encouraging words
Wow I didnt know you had a threatened miscarriage. 
Im glad to hear everything is OK! 
Dont stress! Being positive is the way to go! 
IMHO - I wouldnt want "the cut," but then again when the moment actually arrived, I may have changed my mind
And I had started to look at midwives, too. I dont want to be in a hospital setting all stressed out during delivery. I was looking at everything from a birthing chair to a water birth (using gravity to your advantage instead makes sense, right?! ). No matter what OB you use or if you use a midwife vs. a OB, people are going to have opinions - negative and posative. Just do what you feel most comfortable with. Go with your gut. Because when it comes down to it, the more relaxed you are during delivery, the better. And the more relaxed you are, supposedly the less you'll tear
libertytyranny
Dream Stealer
Thanks for the encouraging words
IMHO - I wouldnt want "the cut," but then again when the moment actually arrived, I may have changed my mind
I think I made SO scared when I mentioned a home birth... though the allure of the grand ole epidural is pretty strong.
A home birth seems so much more comfortable and peaceful..(and comes with a much lower risk of substantial tears 
) but I have zero support for it..everyone thinks I'm nuts 
kwillia
n/a
Yeah.... you go with that... don't forget to keep you laptop handy so you can keep us posted on how that's working for you...
libertytyranny
Dream Stealer
Yeah.... you go with that... don't forget to keep you laptop handy so you can keep us posted on how that's working for you...
Yes. I do realize it is a completely irrational thought. Likely brought on by hormones and fear.
You came to the right place!
Yeah.... you go with that... don't forget to keep you laptop handy so you can keep us posted on how that's working for you...
Is it still OK for me to give birth in your bathtub?
kwillia
n/a
Only if you promise to do the enema AT YOUR HOME this time.You came to the right place!
Is it still OK for me to give birth in your bathtub?
lnmarsh
Love * Luck * Faith
I think I made SO scared when I mentioned a home birth... though the allure of the grand ole epidural is pretty strong.
I support you on a home birth! I considered that, too
My SO supported me every stupid little time I changed my mind. Im sure that if you were REALLY pressed on a homebirth, your SO would back you Oh and Yes - You better have your laptop handy for updates
Wenchy
Hot Flash
I think I made SO scared when I mentioned a home birth... though the allure of the grand ole epidural is pretty strong.
It was a long time ago and I'm not familiar with this area. Midwives on the Eastern Shore partnered with doctors and had hospital privileges. They were also affiliated with the local health department.
I had the comfort of a midwife and the peace of mind if anything went wrong because I gave birth in the hospital.
I did wimp out and got an epidural. My midwife could not have done that for me.
Somebody on here did have a midwife deliver her baby at home.
Can the midwives still deliver in the hospital?
libertytyranny
Dream Stealer
It was a long time ago and I'm not familiar with this area. Midwives on the Eastern Shore partnered with doctors and had hospital privileges. They were also affiliated with the local health department.
I had the comfort of a midwife and the peace of mind if anything went wrong because I gave birth in the hospital.
I did wimp out and got an epidural. My midwife could not have done that for me.
Somebody on here did have a midwife deliver her baby at home.
Can the midwives still deliver in the hospital?
Yes, I believe they can deliver at the hospital, the problem is around here there are very few "alternative" resources..I only found 1 doula in the whole area..and the nearest birthing center is hours away, which would probably be my first choice. it would be interesting to hear any "home birth" stories...maybe I will start a thread sometime a little closer and see what happens..lol