Moral Question of the Day

[vraiblonde]

You have good friends with a teenage daughter. You know the daughter has become sexually active because she's good friends with your daughter and told her, and she in turn told you.

Would you tell your friends that you their daughter is sexually active?

Part #2: If it were YOUR daughter, would you want the friends to tell you?

 

[JabbaJawz]

I'd want to tell, but I'd want to protect my daughter (who told me) for obvious reasons. I wouldn't want my daughter to think that she can't tell me things in confidence, etc... I'm not sure how I'd go about getting the information across, but I'd think of a way that would be most beneficial to all parties involved.

Yes, I'd want to be told if it were my daughter. Of course I don't want my teenage child having sex, but if it happened without my knowledge, I'd want to know so that I could discuss it with her.

 

[RoseRed]

Originally posted by laureng
I'd want to tell, but I'd want to protect my daughter (who told me) for obvious reasons. I wouldn't want my daughter to think that she can't tell me things in confidence, etc... I'm not sure how I'd go about getting the information across, but I'd think of a way that would be most beneficial to all parties involved.

Yes, I'd want to be told if it were my daughter. Of course I don't want my teenage child having sex, but if it happened without my knowledge, I'd want to know so that I could discuss it with her.

I too would want to know and think that the other parents should know as well.

 

[justhangn]

I agree with Lauren and Rose too, tell the parents to they can at least try to talk to the daughter about the can of killer bees she just kicked over.


Maybe they could leave an anonymous note in the mailbox addressed to the parents with the low down of the when and with whom the act occurred.

Or a poem:

With haste and no despair
They humped like rabbits without a care.

 

[JabbaJawz]

Originally posted by justhangn
Maybe they could leave an anonymous note in the mailbox addressed to the parents with the low down of the when and with whom the act occurred.

That just might work. The only thing concern is that your daughter is the only one that the girl told. Once her parents find out and confront her, the girl may assume that it was your daughter and all he// could break loose. Then again, the boy was involved too and you KNOW he told someone...so I think it could be a 'go' without the girl thinking your daughter was the tattle-tale.

 

[JabbaJawz]

Originally posted by justhangn
Or a poem:

With haste and no despair
They humped like rabbits without a care.

I must admit, this idea is far more amusing than any other I can think of,

 

[Kizzy]

I have a different take on this all together. I think an attentive parent would already know that her daughter is sexually active. This could end up blowing up in your face, because she may have told her your daughter she is and I'm sure she will tell her mother she is not. It happened to my mother, then you end up with cake on your face and the trust is between your daughter and you is broken.

 

[Kain99]

I can't see where Vrai will lose anything between herself and her daughter. The two of them obviously have an open and honest relationship. If Vrai says look I need to tell the parents I have a feeling her daughter would agree. It's like I always tell my kids, sometimes being a friend requires you to stick your neck out!

Last month My daughter had a friend who was planning on sneaking out with a bad boy once Dad left for work that night. After 20 minutes of begging her friend not to do it my daughter called her Dad. As it turns out it was the best thing she could have done. The two girls are still great friends.

 

[JabbaJawz]

Originally posted by IM4Change
I have a different take on this all together. I think an attentive parent would already know that her daughter is sexually active.

I disagree. Kids, even good kids, can do some sneaky sh*t and might not make the right decisions ALL the time. Or, the parent might be a little naive to what's going on with the child and may need someone to give them the reality of what is really happening.

 

[JabbaJawz]

Originally posted by Kain99
I can't see where Vrai will lose anything between herself and her daughter. The two of them obviously have an open and honest relationship. If Vrai says look I need to tell the parents I have a feeling her daughter would agree. It's like I always tell my kids, sometimes being a friend requires you to stick your neck out!

I think so, too. Also, as discussed above, there are probably ways that the other parent could be told without disclosing identity (depends on the relationship of the adults involved, I think). Then again, if the adult 'telling' didn't disclose her identity, the other parent may think it's a hoax or not take it seriously. Which would give the child more opportunity to weasel out of the situation and deny it.

 

[justhangn]

Originally posted by laureng
The parent might be a little naive to what's going on with the child and may need someone to give them the reality of what is really happening.

I totally agree. There seems to be a lot of parents in this world that are clueless when it comes to their own children or they walk around with the ignorant mindset of “My child would never do that”.

OH YEAH, that’s right, you NEVER did that either!

Parents need to get catch the hint, SEX HAPPENS!

 

[justhangn]

Originally posted by laureng
Then again, if the adult 'telling' didn't disclose her identity, the other parent may think it's a hoax or not take it seriously. Which would give the child more opportunity to weasel out of the situation and deny it.

Maybe some DNA evidence is needed.

 

[JabbaJawz]

Originally posted by justhangn
I totally agree. There seems to be a lot of parents in this world that are clueless when it comes to their own children or they walk around with the ignorant mindset of “My child would never do that”.

OH YEAH, that’s right, you NEVER did that either!

Parents need to get catch the hint, SEX HAPPENS!

I think that's A LOT of reason some kids get away with so much. Parents put their children on a pedestal and think they have covered all the bases regarding the 'bad things' that are out there.

 

[justhangn]

Originally posted by laureng
I think that's A LOT of reason some kids get away with so much. Parents put their children on a pedestal and think they have covered all the bases regarding the 'bad things' that are out there.

No kidding!

My fathers philosophy was much different, he always said, "you're not going to do and get away with the stuff I did as a kid."


Well, he was almost right. We just had to out smart him and be much more sneaky.

 

[justhangn]

Originally posted by cariblue
I disagree with the old "it takes a village to raise a child" mentality. Unless the kids life is in danger, don't interfere.

AIDS and any list of STD's come to mind!!! YEP, no danger there!!!!


OH YEA, I almost forgot, having an unwanted child!

 

[Kain99]

I guess everyone has their own ideas on parenting. Personally, I'd want my friends or neighbors to beat down my door if they knew my kids were up to no good. Let's face it, we can't be everywhere all of the time.

 

[JabbaJawz]

Originally posted by cariblue
I disagree with the old "it takes a village to raise a child" mentality. Unless the kids life is in danger, don't interfere.

If the girl has decent parents, they already know. If they don't know and you are the informant, you make them look like incompetent parents (yeah, that's what friends are for!).

Never betray a trust you've established within your family circle.

Don't encourage your daughter to betray her friends trust. Her friend may really need it some day.

I see your points, but can't agree with that. Just because her parents don't know she's having sex doesn't mean that they aren't decent. I just look at it from this perspective - if it were my child I'd DEFINITELY want to know and would appreciate the other parent telling me.

 

[JabbaJawz]

Originally posted by Kain99
Let's face it, we can't be everywhere all of the time.

TRUE DAT, Kain!!

 

[JabbaJawz]

Originally posted by cariblue
Talking about suicide or running away.

AIDS is just about as good as suicide, don't you think? And most STDs are 'friends for life', even if they don't kill ya.

 

[JabbaJawz]

Originally posted by laureng
I just look at it from this perspective - if it were my child I'd DEFINITELY want to know and would appreciate the other parent telling me.

Oh, and also...personally, if another parent told me I wouldn't even tell my kid where I heard the information. I'd just tell them it was a reputable source, and not to worry about it. It's not WHO I found out from that matters, it is WHAT I found out that is the point.