moving in?

[CMC122]

My parents have been together for 25yrs, and they move in together after 4 weeks.

As long as you can be 100% honest with yourself about the situation and look at it without rose colored glasses you'll be able to know what to do.

And I'm sure I don't need to tell you to be ready for all the ramifications that go with it not working out and having to find a job back up here all over again and such!



I'm also on good medicine right now so take it as you will

 

[sanchezf]

So I should never get married, or live with anyone?

No always live with someone before marrying them

 

[bresamil]

I would be the one moving. He is in the military. My current home is with my parents and if anything should ever happen I know I have place come back too. I want to change my job anyways, either here or there. And yes I would have job.

Is he on rotation to ship out overseas in the next year?

 

[mv_princess]

As long as you can be 100% honest with yourself about the situation and look at it without rose colored glasses you'll be able to know what to do.

And I'm sure I don't need to tell you to be ready for all the ramifications that go with it not working out and having to find a job back up here all over again and such!



I'm also on good medicine right now so take it as you will

Yes, please also remember this wont be the first time I have moved in with someone. I learned a lot of great lessons the first time. But how would I find out things about this person from 2 states away, or if I don't live with him?

I don't think I have ever had those Rose Colored glasses

 

[CMC122]

Yes, please also remember this wont be the first time I have moved in with someone. I learned a lot of great lessons the first time. But how would I find out things about this person from 2 states away, or if I don't live with him?

I don't think I have ever had those Rose Colored glasses

See, I knew you were a smart girl

 

[mv_princess]

Is he on rotation to ship out overseas in the next year?

Nope just came home. Has at least a year over here in the states. And may be going to school. Which would delay him shipping out

 

[migtig]

Do what feels right. Too many people listen to other people's advice and don't follow their hearts and miss out on life. JMO.

I moved in with my ex husband within two months (we had a long distance relationship) - we were together for 8 plus years. No, it didn't work in the long run, but I have no regrets.

So ask yourself, if you do it, what regrets are you going to have...if you don't do it, what regrets are you going to have....

Every relationship takes work and if you both are going to work on it and getting to know each other, then go for what YOU and nobody else, feels is right.

If you don't feel it's right, or are uncomfortable, or the risks outweigh the rewards, don't do it.

 

[kwillia]

I watch enough Judge Judy to know that there is no magic "timeframe". Nor is it important as to how much "in love" you are at the time or how "right it feels". For the protection of all parties involved, you need to look at it from a practical standpoint. Who's the primary responsible for the dwelling? Who's name is going on the utilities? What is the plan should one want out at some point? How will the bills get paid (he pays this, she pays that, or both pay into joint account and all bills come out of that)? What about the stuff inside the place? Who's providing furniture? Who's providing the appliances (TV, vcr, phone, etc)? Who gets what should one decide they want out?

 

[bresamil]

Nope just came home. Has at least a year over here in the states. And may be going to school. Which would delay him shipping out

I'm just thinking that you'd move there and then he'd be sent away and you'd be apart anyhow. Unless, that is, you already have friends there and love the area, etc.

 

[vraiblonde]

I would be the one moving.

How old are you?

Because if you're pushing 30 or older, I would say no way, Jose. It's way too unstable and who wants to keep schlepping their crap all over the country in case it doesn't work out and you need to make a run for it?

But if you're under 25, what the hell - go for it. You may end up someplace really cool and even if you break it off with the guy, you've seen some world and done something different.

:shrug:

 

[migtig]

As long as you can be 100% honest with yourself about the situation and look at it without rose colored glasses you'll be able to know what to do.

And I'm sure I don't need to tell you to be ready for all the ramifications that go with it not working out and having to find a job back up here all over again and such!



I'm also on good medicine right now so take it as you will

Hey girlie! Do you need anything?

 

[mv_princess]

I watch enough Judge Judy to know that there is no magic "timeframe". Nor is it important as to how much "in love" you are at the time or how "right it feels". For the protection of all parties involved, you need to look at it from a practical standpoint. Who's the primary responsible for the dwelling? Who's name is going on the utilities? What is the plan should one want out at some point? How will the bills get paid (he pays this, she pays that, or both pay into joint account and all bills come out of that)? What about the stuff inside the place? Who's providing furniture? Who's providing the appliances (TV, vcr, phone, etc)? Who gets what should one decide they want out?

Already learned those lessons.

He pays for the place, and puts it in his name.
We spilt the bills, but NO joint accounts.
We spilt things going into the place, granted I have a ton more things than he does just from my last place.
We both have our own TV's and computers and such.

And you take what you came with.

 

[desertrat]

I have have been dating someone for about 3 months, long distance. And we had talked about it. I just wanted to see what other people thought about it.

So what, you've seen him every weekend for 3 months? What is that, 12 days? Not very long to know someone, but you have to go with your instincts. Maybe you should wait and take vacation where you can be together for more that a couple days first. Just a suggestion. Good luck!

 

[mv_princess]

How old are you?

Because if you're pushing 30 or older, I would say no way, Jose. It's way too unstable and who wants to keep schlepping their crap all over the country in case it doesn't work out and you need to make a run for it?

But if you're under 25, what the hell - go for it. You may end up someplace really cool and even if you break it off with the guy, you've seen some world and done something different.

:shrug:

I am under 25. I am 23. And this is probably my other big urge togo. I know I always have a place to come back to if god-forbid something happened. But how else am I going to see anything if I don't try it?

 

[smoothmarine187]

I would be the one moving. He is in the military. My current home is with my parents and if anything should ever happen I know I have place come back too. I want to change my job anyways, either here or there. And yes I would have job.

I knew this was coming! That's why I kept trying to hook you up with Wanutz, but no......you just had go for the army dog. Actually, I thought you were crazy in the beginning, but it worked out. What the hell......I say go for it! If it doesn't work out then you can move back.

 

[vraiblonde]

Wait - where is he stationed? If it's someplace good, go for it. If it's some suckhole, tell him forget it.

 

[mv_princess]

So what, you've seen him every weekend for 3 months? What is that, 12 days? Not very long to know someone, but you have to go with your instincts. Maybe you should wait and take vacation where you can be together for more that a couple days first. Just a suggestion. Good luck!

We are going on vacation. And infact he is spending his leave here, which is roughly 30days. And if I can't figure it out then, I wont ever figure it out.

 

[mv_princess]

Wait - where is he stationed? If it's someplace good, go for it. If it's some suckhole, tell him forget it.

Ft Bragg. So it's still close to home, yet far enough away that I can be on my own with the choice to come back.

 

[mv_princess]

I knew this was coming! That's why I kept trying to hook you up with Wanutz, but no......you just had go for the army dog. Actually, I thought you were crazy in the beginning, but it worked out. What the hell......I say go for it! If it doesn't work out then you can move back.

It's nothing set in stone. And I really just wanted to know what other people thought. Enough think I am crazy already. I would still come back and visit you!

 

[kwillia]

Already learned those lessons.

He pays for the place, and puts it in his name.
We spilt the bills, but NO joint accounts.
We spilt things going into the place, granted I have a ton more things than he does just from my last place.
We both have our own TV's and computers and such.

And you take what you came with.

Then I'm siding with Vrai on this one... as long as you aren't using this move for ulterior motives such as to force commitment or become dependent expecting to be financially provided for I say what have you got to lose?!?!?! Make sure you continue to be financially independent and DON'T GET PREGNANT.