"My kids are my life."

R

redhotmomma

Guest
I look back and wish I didn't work so many hours when my kids were young. We never had a normal dinner time and rarely sat down to eat together.

I had that growing up but when my Hubby was in the navy his schedule was all crazy. I didn't realize how important it was until he got his job here. Now he works the same time M-F. We all eat together and it's great.
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
I look back and wish I didn't work so many hours when my kids were young. We never had a normal dinner time and rarely sat down to eat together.

Don't worry. The shrinks need someone to fill the couches so they can make a living. :huggy:
 
Don't worry. The shrinks need someone to fill the couches so they can make a living. :huggy:
:lol: I'll never forget the time I had a full weekend off and decided to make a big old fashioned Sunday dinner for the four of us. I made everything homemade, set the table, etc. and as we were eating my son leaned over and whispered, "Mom, do you know there are families that do this every night...:shocking:"

:doh:
 

K_Jo

Pea Brain
PREMO Member
:lol: I'll never forget the time I had a full weekend off and decided to make a big old fashioned Sunday dinner for the four of us. I made everything homemade, set the table, etc. and as we were eating my son leaned over and whispered, "Mom, do you know there are families that do this every night...:shocking:"

:doh:

:lol:
 

sunflowergirl

New Member
I think this explains it pretty well...


The Special Mother
by Erma Bombeck


Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice,
a few by social pressure and a couple by habit.
This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children.
Did you ever wonder how these mothers are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth
Selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.
As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew."
"Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia."
"Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
Finally he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a handicapped child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a handicapped child a mother who knows no laughter?
That would be cruel."
"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair.
Once the shock and resentment wear off she'll handle it."
"I watched her today.
She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother.
You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of it's own.
She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive.
Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.
She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied.
She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary.
When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it.
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see--ignorance, cruelty,
prejudice--and allow her to rise above them.
She will never be alone.
I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life
Because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air. God smiles.
"A mirror will suffice."
 

DanceMom

New Member
Honestly, I waited for my kids. I waited until I was older, until I got everything out of my system. I waited until my career leveled off and I could save some money. I waited for the right man, one who would love me and the kids unconditionally and co-parent. I waited until we owned a home. I waited until we married. I waited a very long time and I have to say, my children are my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. Though I do find mommy time in the evenings and occationally go out with friends - of course the babysitter comes once a month for date night. I love being mommy.
 

DanceMom

New Member
:lol: I'll never forget the time I had a full weekend off and decided to make a big old fashioned Sunday dinner for the four of us. I made everything homemade, set the table, etc. and as we were eating my son leaned over and whispered, "Mom, do you know there are families that do this every night...:shocking:"

:doh:

hahhahaa....funny! We're one of those families! Keep in mind the grocery store has rotisserie (spelling?) chickens and can make you look good more than one night a week.
 

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
PREMO Member
I hear women say this all the time. To me, it sounds like they give up everything for their kids. No more hobbies, no more friends, etc. Their whole entire life revolves around their children.

Do you think someone would be a bad mother if she said, "I love my kids, but I am still a person, not just a mom." If she went out and made time for herself, and didn't let her entire world revolve around being a mother.

Is it possible to have a life and be a mother? At least when the child is young?

I'm divorced. My kids didn't ask for that. I owe them a stable, loving home & to me that means I don't run around all over the place having my own life as you describe it. I have a life - I am a mom. My kids are my life. And amazingly - I'm still a person. In fact, I believe I'm a better person because I am a mother.

Do I have some time to myself to do what I want when they're not here? Yes. But otherwise -they're my life. I owe them that.
 

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
PREMO Member
That is not at all what I mean. My life revolving around my kids means to me that they are always forefront in my mind over anything and any and all plans I make for myself are fit in around their needs first. Mine are older now so I very often spend time away from them and they from me. But I would cancel or change my plans if I felt my kids needed me during that timeframe.

I can sum it up by saying, in general, I would do without before I would let my kids do without.

:yay: exactly!
 

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
PREMO Member
I can see what you're saying. Maybe it just sounded weird hearing women say, "My kids are my life." Like being a mother is the ONLY thing going in their life.

My kids are my life. And being a mother isn't the only thing going in my life. I guess it all depends on what you consider "the only thing going in your life" to be.

Says you. Women can do much more than give birth.

I personally HAVE done so much more than give birth.


Exactly. I guess that's my question. I mean, can't you still be a great mom but want to keep some sense of identity?

I've never lost my own sense of identity just because I became a mom, so I guess I can't relate to this at all.
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Seriously, kids are time-consuming and need hands-on care and supervision. I wouldn't go as far as to say my kids were my *life*, but my life definitely revolved around them. That's just the way it is.
 
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