Need advice

[STAYATHOMEMAMA3]

Ok, here is my problem. I was just looking at my bank account and saw that my son(11) used my card(w/out permission) to subscribe to a membership to gamefly.com. I am extremely disappointed. I thought I taught him better than that. I know he probably thought it was no big deal, but how do I get him to understand what he did was not only wrong but ILLEGAL? I would love to have a police officer come to the house and give him a good scare, but I know they have more important things to do. I just dont think grounding him, etc. is going to get the message through. I would love to hear some suggestions on what to do. Serious responses please, as this really is no laughing matter, this could lead to some really bad issues in the future if I do not handle it correctly. TIA.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

You could punish him how you see fit for starters. Then make him pay off the debt.

 

[whome20603]

I think the first thing you should do is contact gamefly.com to let them know what happened and see if they will accept a cancellation with no associated fees (I don't know what kind of company this is...hopefully he didn't lock you into some kind of monthly fee or anything). No matter what you do with regards to punishment for your son I'd definitely make him pay you back. I don't know if the police would come out to scare him but that'd be funny

How about you tell him what fraud is then make him put on an orange vest and clean the streets like they do for real, lol. Now that would be funny!

You could punish him how you see fit for starters. Then make him pay off the debt.

Isn't this what she's asking for advise on?

 

[fjennell]

You could still call the non emergency number and ask about a cop showing up. I would do whatever you would normally do for a punishment PLUS make him do community service as if he were to have gotten caught by the law. That's what a kid his age would get for the offense plus have to pay it back. You could explain that it would be his punishment if he were caught by the police and make it say 20 hours and take him to a humane society for a few hours and/or make him pick up trash in the neighborhood, parks, along roads, whatever. But that would be the "law" punishment and I would still put him on your own punishment as well. No TV, games, whatever you would normally do.

 

[STAYATHOMEMAMA3]

I think the first thing you should do is contact gamefly.com to let them know what happened and see if they will accept a cancellation with no associated fees (I don't know what kind of company this is...hopefully he didn't lock you into some kind of monthly fee or anything). No matter what you do with regards to punishment for your son I'd definitely make him pay you back. I don't know if the police would come out to scare him but that'd be funny

How about you tell him what fraud is then make him put on an orange vest and clean the streets like they do for real, lol. Now that would be funny!



Isn't this what she's asking for advise on?

This is reminding me of that time a few months ago in Lusby when the mom made the kid stand on the side of the road wearing a sign that said "I stole from my Library's book fair". It got alot of attention, but the police made her move him out of the road, which I can understand that was pretty dangerous. And apparently she had some woman come up to her son and tell him she was a bad, mean mom for making him do that. I think that woman was a genius!! I am thinking maybe something along those lines, but maybe in front of store somewhere safe.

 

[RareBreed]

Explain the situation to a family friend or co-worker. Have them call your son and pretend to be a cop. Have them tell your son that a report of fraud was placed in reference to an illegal charge on his parent's credit card and the police heard that your son might know about it. Have them tell your son that before an arrest is made, they wanted to see if this could be handled another way. Basically scare the poopey out of him and then have the "cop" say that in order to avoid anything bad, your son must repay the fraudulent charges and perform some sort of community service of his or his parent's choice.

BTW, this also works if the person pretends to be Santa Claus. My kids seem to straighten up real quick when Santa calls them to say that they are heading for the Naughty List and they better start acting better.

 

[STAYATHOMEMAMA3]

You could still call the non emergency number and ask about a cop showing up. I would do whatever you would normally do for a punishment PLUS make him do community service as if he were to have gotten caught by the law. That's what a kid his age would get for the offense plus have to pay it back. You could explain that it would be his punishment if he were caught by the police and make it say 20 hours and take him to a humane society for a few hours and/or make him pick up trash in the neighborhood, parks, along roads, whatever. But that would be the "law" punishment and I would still put him on your own punishment as well. No TV, games, whatever you would normally do.

Do you think they would come out here? My fear is that they might really arrest him, since what he did was illegal. Or do I have to be the one to press charges, etc in order for them to actually arrest him?

 

[baileydog]

Take the computer away. if he did this behind your back, God only knows where else hes been on the computer. Dont end up being one of those parents that says " he was a good kid, How did this happen?" Act now!

 

[Kain99]

Do you think they would come out here? My fear is that they might really arrest him, since what he did was illegal. Or do I have to be the one to press charges, etc in order for them to actually arrest him?

Have him arrested. He's on the road to becoming a major thug.

 

[Cowgirl]

Funny tread.

 

[RareBreed]

Do you think they would come out here? My fear is that they might really arrest him, since what he did was illegal. Or do I have to be the one to press charges, etc in order for them to actually arrest him?

At 11, the worst they'd do is take him down to Juvenile Detention and then release him back to your custody with a court date.

 

[Softballkid]

Tie him to a tree, pour honey all over him, and leave him for 3-4 hours...



He'll never do it again

Problem solved... Next....

 

[whome20603]

This is reminding me of that time a few months ago in Lusby when the mom made the kid stand on the side of the road wearing a sign that said "I stole from my Library's book fair". It got alot of attention, but the police made her move him out of the road, which I can understand that was pretty dangerous. And apparently she had some woman come up to her son and tell him she was a bad, mean mom for making him do that. I think that woman was a genius!! I am thinking maybe something along those lines, but maybe in front of store somewhere safe.

Umm, no it's not the same actually. Do the police make people wear signs when they've stolen? No, not to my knowledge anyway. They do however make you clean up the roads

 

[cattitude]

Funny tread.

Internet Parenting 101

 

[STAYATHOMEMAMA3]

Internet Parenting 101

What is that supposed to mean?

 

[whome20603]

Internet Parenting 101

 

[Vince]

Ok, here is my problem. I was just looking at my bank account and saw that my son(11) used my card(w/out permission) to subscribe to a membership to gamefly.com. I am extremely disappointed. I thought I taught him better than that. I know he probably thought it was no big deal, but how do I get him to understand what he did was not only wrong but ILLEGAL? I would love to have a police officer come to the house and give him a good scare, but I know they have more important things to do. I just dont think grounding him, etc. is going to get the message through. I would love to hear some suggestions on what to do. Serious responses please, as this really is no laughing matter, this could lead to some really bad issues in the future if I do not handle it correctly. TIA.

You're his parent. Punish him. Happens again, have him arrested. FOR REAL!!! Todays' parents are afraid to punish their kids. That's how we got so many, "I'm scared to hit my kid" type liberals around. If I did something like that when I was young, duh, it's called stealing. My father would have whooped my azz and grounded me for the summer, except to go out and work off the debt. Take the dayum computer away for the summer, and he finds work this summer to pay every penny back to you. Tell him his summer is gone. He won't have to worry about having fun or seeing his friends. If you let him off lightly, then in his book, stealing is OK. Fraud is OK and like you said, "it could lead to some serious issues in the future."

 

[luckystar]

I know it's wrong, and should be punished, but I can't help but wonder what the kid was thinking. GameFly is a game rental site like NetFlix, he would have gotten caught as soon as the first game came in. What was he gonna say? That his friend's parents signed up and bought him a $10-$20/month subscription? You can't buy anything online without a PayPal account or debit/credit card. You have to be 18 for both.

 

[poster]

Do you think they would come out here? My fear is that they might really arrest him, since what he did was illegal. Or do I have to be the one to press charges, etc in order for them to actually arrest him?

Stop by the sheriff's office, explain and ask if there is a program to tour the jail, perhaps someone would be willing to speak with him.

Take the computer away. if he did this behind your back, God only knows where else hes been on the computer. Dont end up being one of those parents that says " he was a good kid, How did this happen?" Act now!

Today, take away the computer, phone, games, etc. Give him a list of things he must do to work for their return and stand by it. You worked hard for the money he took, make him realize what it means to work for something.

I'm wondering, what was his reaction when you found out?

 

[STAYATHOMEMAMA3]

I know it's wrong, and should be punished, but I can't help but wonder what the kid was thinking. GameFly is a game rental site like NetFlix, he would have gotten caught as soon as the first game came in. What was he gonna say? That his friend's parents signed up and bought him a $10-$20/month subscription? You can't buy anything online without a PayPal account or debit/credit card. You have to be 18 for both.

That is another thing that is bothering me. He used another kids name and address. Not sure if the kid knows about it or not, it really upsets me that he is pulling these kinds of things. I feel like I am screwing up as a parent. I chose to stay home with my kids so I can keep a really close eye on them, but since I have 3 total, a 5 y/o and 20 m/o, it is hard to watch every move he makes. This is why he is not allowed to have internet on his computer in his room, I want to monitor everything he is doing online, but I guess I was not watching closely enough. Whoever said parenting was easy has never had children!!