Need advice

STAYATHOMEMAMA3

STAYATHOMEMAMA3

New Member
Vince said:
You're his parent. Punish him. :banghead: Happens again, have him arrested. FOR REAL!!! Todays' parents are afraid to punish their kids. That's how we got so many, "I'm scared to hit my kid" type liberals around. If I did something like that when I was young, duh, it's called stealing. My father would have whooped my azz and grounded me for the summer, except to go out and work off the debt. Take the dayum computer away for the summer, and he finds work this summer to pay every penny back to you. Tell him his summer is gone. He won't have to worry about having fun or seeing his friends. If you let him off lightly, then in his book, stealing is OK. Fraud is OK and like you said, "it could lead to some serious issues in the future." :banghead:
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I am not afraid to punish my kids by any means, TRUST ME!! I am just asking for advice on what people might think is the most effective measure. Spanking him etc, will not do the trick. That does not phase kids. That is why I am seeking help on how to deal with the matter so he does not pull this kind of crap again.
 
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poster

New Member
STAYATHOMEMAMA3 said:
That is another thing that is bothering me. He used another kids name and address. Not sure if the kid knows about it or not, it really upsets me that he is pulling these kinds of things. I feel like I am screwing up as a parent. I chose to stay home with my kids so I can keep a really close eye on them, but since I have 3 total, a 5 y/o and 20 m/o, it is hard to watch every move he makes. This is why he is not allowed to have internet on his computer in his room, I want to monitor everything he is doing online, but I guess I was not watching closely enough. Whoever said parenting was easy has never had children!!
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Ok, are you sure the other kid wasn't involved is some way? My guess is this is a joint venture, you need to involve the other parents. What was his excuse?

Pretending this didn't happen is "screwing up as a parent", doing something about it is "parenting", part of being a kid is learning wrong. For some it takes doing wrong to learn what is wrong.
 
STAYATHOMEMAMA3

STAYATHOMEMAMA3

New Member
poster said:
Ok, are you sure the other kid wasn't involved is some way? My guess is this is a joint venture, you need to involve the other parents. What was his excuse?

Pretending this didn't happen is "screwing up as a parent", doing something about it is "parenting", part of being a kid is learning wrong. For some it takes doing wrong to learn what is wrong.
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That is the same thing I was thinking. They probably plotted it. Hey I will use my mom's cc and we will send them to your house. "We'll never get caught". He is pretty scared right now, just at the simple fact that I found out. He has been crying in his room for a while. I hope this is all I have to do, to make him realize this is serious and will never do this type of thing again!!
 
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luckystar

Guest
This is not at all you being a bad parent. I don't have my own yet, but I can only imagine what's going through your head. What DO you do when your kid does something like that? What was HE thinking?

Maybe he thought since it was yours and all it wouldn't be so bad if he got caught... I don't know. I would take measures that the others have said though, to teach him that despite the fact that it's his mom's card, it is still a serious offense which requires serious punishment. Taking his summer away and having him pay for the expenses sounds reasonable to me. I wouldn't have a friend call as a police officer... what if your son were to find out you had a friend do that? Not an example I would be trying to set.

Again, I don't have children of my own, just trying to think of how my mind was not too many years ago, and how it reacted to certain punishments. And again, you're doing something about it, that's not being a bad parent. Looking for advice or suggestions never made anyone look bad. It's research, and in the end it's up to you to use that information as you see fit. Have confidence in your decision, and follow through. That's all that matters.

:yay:
 
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poster

New Member
STAYATHOMEMAMA3 said:
That is the same thing I was thinking. They probably plotted it. Hey I will use my mom's cc and we will send them to your house. "We'll never get caught". He is pretty scared right now, just at the simple fact that I found out. He has been crying in his room for a while. I hope this is all I have to do, to make him realize this is serious and will never do this type of thing again!!
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I would call the other parents now and ask if they've been receiving games and why. If he's already upset sounds like he'll get it, take everything away and make him earn it back.

I would get to the bottom of who's idea this was.
Has he given you any explanation yet?
 
Cowgirl

Cowgirl

Well-Known Member
STAYATHOMEMAMA3 said:
That is the same thing I was thinking. They probably plotted it. Hey I will use my mom's cc and we will send them to your house. "We'll never get caught". He is pretty scared right now, just at the simple fact that I found out. He has been crying in his room for a while. I hope this is all I have to do, to make him realize this is serious and will never do this type of thing again!!
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Here's my two cents. Does he normally act up? If not, maybe a stern lecture about what he did and WHY it was wrong will do the trick. If you explain to him why it's stealing and what will happen if he continues to do things like this, perhaps he'll really listen. He's 11. It's not like he's 15 and doing this.

When I was young (I think I was around 8 maybe?), I stole a hot glue stick from Joann Fabrics. My parents found out (my sister ratted me out). My parents gave me a looooong lecture and made me feel so horribly guilty. They threatened to make me go back to the store and tell the manager what I did. I was mortified! I NEVER did anything like that ever again.

IMO, it might be a little drastic to involve the cops, especially if he's generally a good kid.

That's my $.02. You can do with it what you like. :smile:
 
nobody really

nobody really

I need a nap
take him to tri-county animal shelter and trade him in for a dog. he'll be a cloud of smoke in three days. problem solved.
 
P

poster

New Member
Cowgirl said:
Here's my two cents. Does he normally act up? If not, maybe a stern lecture about what he did and WHY it was wrong will do the trick. If you explain to him why it's stealing and what will happen if he continues to do things like this, perhaps he'll really listen. He's 11. It's not like he's 15 and doing this.
When I was young (I think I was around 8 maybe?), I stole a hot glue stick from Joann Fabrics. My parents found out (my sister ratted me out). My parents gave me a looooong lecture and made me feel so horribly guilty. They threatened to make me go back to the store and tell the manager what I did. I was mortified! I NEVER did anything like that ever again.

IMO, it might be a little drastic to involve the cops, especially if he's generally a good kid.

That's my $.02. You can do with it what you like. :smile:
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I agree, my 9 yr old took $20 from my wallet (without asking) for the book fair this year. Then asked for another $10 from hubby, she almost had him. Till he noticed the new book in her book bag already. Punishment: $20 back to your mother from your money, new book taken away forever, 1 week no TV along with heavy chore labor to keep you busy. I doubt it will happen again, absolutely killed her to give up her money and the new book she wanted so bad.
 
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fjennell

New Member
I personally don't think him crying in his room and feeling bad is punishment enough. Granted we all do something like this at some point in our lifetime, but the lesson we learn from it is key. Having it sent to a friends address is even worse in my opinion because it required being sneaky. You really want to nip that in the bud. I still say do a regular punishment which sounds like no computer for a while would be pretty good and then add a community service chore, even if its picking up trash around the neighborhood for a few hours and paying back the money also.
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
What are the police going to do that you can't do yourself? Is there a Dad somewhere in this picture?
 
LusbyMom

LusbyMom

You're a LOON :)
STAYATHOMEMAMA3 said:
This is reminding me of that time a few months ago in Lusby when the mom made the kid stand on the side of the road wearing a sign that said "I stole from my Library's book fair". It got alot of attention, but the police made her move him out of the road, which I can understand that was pretty dangerous. And apparently she had some woman come up to her son and tell him she was a bad, mean mom for making him do that. I think that woman was a genius!! I am thinking maybe something along those lines, but maybe in front of store somewhere safe.
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FYI I know the mom and kid you are talking about. The kid was NOT standing in the road and he was perfectly safe. He was across from the school on the post office property.

I think it was a great idea and the location was perfect. All his friends got to see him! :lol:
 
LusbyMom

LusbyMom

You're a LOON :)
STAYATHOMEMAMA3 said:
That is another thing that is bothering me. He used another kids name and address. Not sure if the kid knows about it or not, it really upsets me that he is pulling these kinds of things. I feel like I am screwing up as a parent. I chose to stay home with my kids so I can keep a really close eye on them, but since I have 3 total, a 5 y/o and 20 m/o, it is hard to watch every move he makes. This is why he is not allowed to have internet on his computer in his room, I want to monitor everything he is doing online, but I guess I was not watching closely enough. Whoever said parenting was easy has never had children!!
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Are you sure your kid did it? Maybe the other kid did?
 
ShoeQueen77

ShoeQueen77

New Member
I don't think playing games with the kid by calling the cops for a scare is the right tactic. Be straight forward by having a serious talk. Then definitely take the computer away and make him work off what he owes you with housework as punishment. I assume he has no income to pay you back.
 
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