So, I had finally gotten up the nerve to start talking to someone-the first someone since my husband died- and I think I really screwed it up last night.
We finally met over the weekend, had a great time, went to church together, explored near his area, and laughed a lot. He called me three times on the way home to see how my trip was progressing. And he said he would come visit this weekend maybe. Now Sunday, I didn't really talk to him, although I wanted to. I knew he had to work, and he was not feeling well. Monday, I called to see how he was feeling and he was miserable. Yesterday, I called mid day, and he was still feeling bad. Last night, I had a really bad night. I decided there was a lot of stress building up to what would have been my wedding anniversary, and it seemed like there were reminders everywhere. And after work, I went home and started drinking. I don't usually drink alone because it scares me. Anyway, I was really lonely and started calling friends. Noone was home or answered cells or homes. So I called him. I don't think I said anything too horrible to him, and I told him I really didn't want to call him and lay this on his shoulders, (even though he has done the same to me), but I was really upset on the phone. He told me a couple of jokes, and we laughed some. He also said that maybe I wasn't ready to date someone, that there was still a lot I had to go through, but that he wasn't rejecting me. The one thing I do remember telling him is the truth, that I wanted to hug him while we were out the other night, but was afraid to cross a line (we said we were starting as friends and see where things go). His comment was that I had set the boundaries, and it was up to me. He told me to call back in an hour. I did, and we talked for a couple of minutes and he said he was waiting for a call from his kids, and to send him a message this morning letting him know I was ok. I did, along with a couple of other emails, and haven't heard anything all day.
I am so confused and don't know what to do. Do I call him, or did I really screw up?
