Ok. Help please!!!

[Larry Gude]

No it's not...

True statement but baggage belongs in your pocket. It's your duty to control and hide that mess... Best you can. No one is sticking around with somone who wears baggage on their sleeve.

I'm not playing games, I'm calling a spade a spade.

...it's your duty to unpack it and put it away. Baggage, to me, is not something to be worn as a badge of honor nor as some buried secret. It's something to be dealt with and grown out of or, at the very least, reduce it down to a carry on.

Or you can just live with it forever. Or hide it forever. Or add to it.

We're all free to do what we wish!

 

[Larry Gude]

I think...

I do really well holding it in most of the time. Just sometimes something triggers it, and I can't always stop it. I have gotten better though. This time last year, I was crying all the time, as well as having panic attacks a lot. Couldn't get help from my doctor, but I could get relaxers for my cat's anxiety. I guess she was more important.

...that's pretty normal. 18 months is not a long time, at all, to move on from death.

 

[red_explorer]

...that's pretty normal. 18 months is not a long time, at all, to move on from death.

Some of my friends have been really surprised that I would even consider moving on, but I hate being lonely. I hate having noone to talk to.

 

[Dye Tied]

...it's your duty to unpack it and put it away. Baggage, to me, is not something to be worn as a badge of honor nor as some buried secret. It's something to be dealt with and grown out of or, at the very least, reduce it down to a carry on.

Or you can just live with it forever. Or hide it forever. Or add to it.

We're all free to do what we wish!

Baggae is kept in the overhead until a bumpy ride shakes it loose. Then it is dealt with and put neatly back overhead.

 

[red_explorer]

So the guy had a shot of Nyquil and slept all day.
My guess would have been he was otherwise occupied and your behavior the night before was not a factor

That's what he said. I was just really scared. I haven't been through any of this in too long. And with my husband, none of this was an issue.

 

[RoseRed]

Some of my friends have been really surprised that I would even consider moving on, but I hate being lonely. I hate having noone to talk to.

It's no one, not noone.

 

[red_explorer]

Also, I know it can be hard but try not to be too obsessed with the fella. That can be a turnoff to some guys.

I am trying.

 

[red_explorer]

Baggae is kept in the overhead until a bumpy ride shakes it loose. Then it is dealt with and put neatly back overhead.

I like that statement. THis morning I am thinking that even if things never work out, at least I took the step of talking to him and going out once, and that's a huge step for me in itself.

 

[cattitude]

Baggae is kept in the overhead until a bumpy ride shakes it loose. Then it is dealt with and put neatly back overhead.

I really don't think the death of a spouse is baggage, especially since he's only been gone 18 months.

 

[Dye Tied]

I really don't think the death of a spouse is baggage, especially since he's only been gone 18 months.

No it's not. She might have other stuff in her life also. All this time I thought the name was male

 

[red_explorer]

I really don't think the death of a spouse is baggage, especially since he's only been gone 18 months.

But like I said before, divorce is normal. Death at 41 is not. Most forms you fill out ask married separated divorced, single- not widow- I hate the term. I hate what it denotes. I hate that there are preconcieved notions about me because of his death. Everyone has read the stories about the crazy widows, or the widows who are chasing everyone's husbands, and I don't want that reputation. I worry when friends husbands help me with things at the house. I worry about the jokes. Other people think they are funny. I am 37. Do you think I planned this? At this point in my life, I figured I would be wife and mother. Have a house, and already had the greatest guy. Now I am starting over.

 

[red_explorer]

No it's not. She might have other stuff in her life also. All this time I thought the name was male

Nope, that's the big thing.

 

[Larry Gude]

Until...

Baggae is kept in the overhead until a bumpy ride shakes it loose. Then it is dealt with and put neatly back overhead.

...it falls, again, and hits you in the head, again. OR, or we put it away so it don't hit us in the head no more. Under our seat, out the window, wherever just so as to not cause us no mo' pain.

Proper baggage handling is a key life skill.

 

[Dye Tied]

...it falls, again, and hits you in the head, again. OR, or we put it away so it don't hit us in the head no more. Under our seat, out the window, wherever just so as to not cause us no mo' pain.

Proper baggage handling is a key life skill.

Maybe we should be named baggage jugglers?

 

[RoseRed]

Maybe we should be named baggage jugglers?

Would you juggle Kwillia's baggage?

 

[red_explorer]

...it falls, again, and hits you in the head, again. OR, or we put it away so it don't hit us in the head no more. Under our seat, out the window, wherever just so as to not cause us no mo' pain.

Proper baggage handling is a key life skill.

I am still working on proper baggage handling skills.

 

[Dye Tied]

Would you juggle Kwillia's baggage?

Mint tea out the nose Pass the Goose please

 

[RoseRed]

Mint tea out the nose Pass the Goose please

 

[Larry Gude]

And...

Maybe we should be named baggage jugglers?

..as such, some of us juggle a few soft things, some of us juggle hand grenades, chain saws and pitch forks!

 

[aps45819]

I hate that there are preconcieved notions about me because of his death.
I worry when friends husbands help me with things at the house.
I worry about the jokes.

I once had someone tell me that other people's opinion of me is none of my business.
Turns out the ONLY person you have to please is yourself.

You have absolutely no control over how other people perceive your situation so spending time and effort worrying about what they think seems somewhat pointless.