Parental Differences/Disagreement

[smoothmarine187]

Put all the other crap aside and your absolutely right, he shoud not be taking her off her doctor prescribed medication!

 

[Larry Gude]

Tip #1...

Marry in haste, repent at your leisure.

I have nothing but negative opinions about medicating kids for ADHD, ADD etc. I think it is total horsehit and one of the most vile things we've ever come up with.

I can take a pill to make me feel better or...I can get some exercise and eat better. I can take a pill that a doc swears will make me feel better and it could work...and be a placebo. If you and the doc tell her it will work, well...

Having said all that, if you're sure she's getting enough activity and she's eating a balanced diet and her overall health is fine including good oral hygiene, well, I'd still say she's a kid and it will get better with age.

Having said that, if you're convinced she needs medicine, well, I guess you gotta find a way to come to a workable consensus with dad.

Have you tried Scientology?


Just kidding!

 

[Larry Gude]

Bs...

And for the record, I'm not interested in opinions of whether or not you believe ADHD exists, think kids should be medicated for it, etc.

It's a simple issue of the fact that a doctor prescribed medication for her, and he's not giving it to her. Period.

...if you're not interested in opinions you're being foolish. We are clearly over medicating our kids in many cases and there is all kinds of research to back that up.

Having said that, I don't know you that well, DQ and dad at all. Taking you at face value that she NEEDS this and the doc is doing the right thing, well, is dad one of these people who would put leeches or God on a tumor or is he typically rational about stuff?

Maybe sit down with dad and doc, as adults?



EDIT; OK, I'm reading through the thread. Back to my original point.

 

[Bustem' Down]

Marry in haste, repent at your leisure.

I have nothing but negative opinions about medicating kids for ADHD, ADD etc. I think it is total horsehit and one of the most vile things we've ever come up with.

I can take a pill to make me feel better or...I can get some exercise and eat better. I can take a pill that a doc swears will make me feel better and it could work...and be a placebo. If you and the doc tell her it will work, well...

Having said all that, if you're sure she's getting enough activity and she's eating a balanced diet and her overall health is fine including good oral hygiene, well, I'd still say she's a kid and it will get better with age.

Having said that, if you're convinced she needs medicine, well, I guess you gotta find a way to come to a workable consensus with dad.

Have you tried Scientology?


Just kidding!

I was given medication because I would never pay attention is school or do my school work. the result: I was wired in school from the meds and still didn't do my school work and still made bad grades. I believe the medication is right for some, but not the majority.

 

[Larry Gude]

Yeah...

i in writing with the positive results your pediatrician has achieved, and a script for them. If THAT doesn't work, then I'd haul his A$$ to court, and ELIMINATE his parental rights for neglect. End of story. Sorry i show NO MERCY. Rottncop knows it would be far cheaper to keep me, homegirl don't play around.

...that's what everyone needs, a law suit and a kid who can't otherwise have a loving parent in their life just so the other parent can play bad azz and win a point.

There is honest, legitimate debate over drugging kids because they are restless and have trouble concentrating.

 

[happyappygirl]

Put all the other crap aside and your absolutely right, he shoud not be taking her off her doctor prescribed medication!

THAT is her point. The kid's body can't deal with the dramatic ups and downs of arbitrarily giving and removing prescribed meds. If he does it with this....i would wonder if she got her full course of meds for other things (oops sorry i forgot).

If dad has a REAL issue with it, DON'T remove the kid from meds on his own "opinion", go the extra mile, put your feelings/opinions aside, and have a sit down with the pediatrician and psycologist who know the kid and her history, and be an active part of the solution!

THATs being an adult, and an active parent. good grief HOW HARD is THAT?? Kids learn by example.

 

[smoothmarine187]

THAT is her point. The kid's body can't deal with the dramatic ups and downs of arbitrarily giving and removing prescribed meds. If he does it with this....i would wonder if she got her full course of meds for other things (oops sorry i forgot).

If dad has a REAL issue with it, DON'T remove the kid from meds on his own "opinion", go the extra mile, put your feelings/opinions aside, and have a sit down with the pediatrician and psycologist who know the kid and her history, and be an active part of the solution!

THATs being an adult, and an active parent. good grief HOW HARD is THAT?? Kids learn by example.

It sounds simple enough, but if I had an EX-Wife and she put one of my kids on that crap.........I would be furious. Especially if I didn't think that the kid needed it. It would be hard to think rationally in the beginning.

 

[happyappygirl]

It sounds simple enough, but if I had an EX-Wife and she put one of my kids on that crap.........I would be furious. Especially if I didn't think that the kid needed it. It would be hard to think rationally in the beginning.

I certainly understand your taking issue with medicating of any sort, and that's valid.

But that anger is yours to deal with on your own....as a parent it's your responsibility to put your "opinions" and "feelings" aside, and deal with issues objectively by gaining knowledge, and making choices that are right for the kid based on the facts not opinions or feelings. Fight the issue (giving prescribed medications you don't agree with) and not the person (the ex-wife).

With that said, pediatricians don't, as a rule, simply throw a kid on prescribed medication just because mom asks for it, as much as you may hate the mom, i don't think she's THAT powerful and supreme a being. At least my docs don't just throw drugs at me or mine.

:shrug: maybe i think differently when it comes to fighting...when i fight with my hubby (or anyone for that matter), i never attack HIM personally i attack the ISSUE. Could be why we've been married for almost 26 years i suppose, but that's always been my philosophy.

 

[smoothmarine187]

I guess my problem with this crap, is that parents use it as a way to not have to deal with their kids. I new these parents that went through all the counciling, went to the doctors.......did all the research, so that they could justify putting their kid on this crap, but the funny thing is........when I would come over and hang out........I would play video games with the kid or listen to music or whatever.......and guess what........he was fine! When the parents would ignore him again and do there own thing.......then he would act up.

My point being........he was just being a kid....kids are full of energy and when they have nothing to do.......that energy has to come out some how.

 

[happyappygirl]

I'm not ADVOCATING ritalin or any ADHD drug, i have no opinion or experience with it. So let's not confuse the issue.

The issue is a parent taking a kid off meds cold turkey, based on an opinion rather than facts. The dad had NO RIGHT to potentially endanger his child's health and well being, by yanking a kid off ANY meds her body may have become physically dependent on simply because he didn't agree with them and "wanted too". Suppose that threw her into a severe depression? Then what? He had No way of knowing what it would do to her physically or emotionally. That's just plain stupid.

 

[vraiblonde]

The point here is how suddenly taking her off the meds can affect her. Crab, I'd hit him from that angle. Just say, "Look, we can have a discussion about whether she needs the meds at all, but you can't just abruptly stop it because it could screw her up."

 

[Pete]

...that's what everyone needs, a law suit and a kid who can't otherwise have a loving parent in their life just so the other parent can play bad azz and win a point.

There is honest, legitimate debate over drugging kids because they are restless and have trouble concentrating.

bravo

 

[happyappygirl]

The point here is how suddenly taking her off the meds can affect her. Crab, I'd hit him from that angle. Just say, "Look, we can have a discussion about whether she needs the meds at all, but you can't just abruptly stop it because it could screw her up."

we agree on something?
i must be ill. or it's SO obvious that (almost) anyone can see it....

 

[Larry Gude]

Yeah...

The point here is how suddenly taking her off the meds can affect her. Crab, I'd hit him from that angle. Just say, "Look, we can have a discussion about whether she needs the meds at all, but you can't just abruptly stop it because it could screw her up."

...and I'd be like "Hey, who screwed who up first? You (Crab) know I (ex) think this is hokum and you put her on it anyway."

I don't wanna make up a whole conversation here but you two gotta come to a consensus here so that you're both on board and support the decision if not in necessarily in full agreement.

 

[bohman]

...and I'd be like "Hey, who screwed who up first? You (Crab) know I (ex) think this is hokum and you put her on it anyway."

I don't wanna make up a whole conversation here but you two gotta come to a consensus here so that you're both on board and support the decision if not in necessarily in full agreement.

I'm mostly in agreement with CC in this thread, but Larry does make a point here (if I can play devil's advocate). How much did the ex know about this beforehand? Did he object to the medication and you got it anyway, or did he find out about it afterwards? I don't know how much time the kid is at either parent's home, but it sounds like something that needed to be settled before any prescriptions were handed out. If the kid is mostly in CC's custody, sounds like ex just learned a lesson (or should have) about being more involved with the kid so he doesn't find out about issues like this after the fact.

 

[vraiblonde]

...and I'd be like "Hey, who screwed who up first? You (Crab) know I (ex) think this is hokum and you put her on it anyway."

That's beside the point at hand and they can fight about that at their leisure. The immediate concern is how abruptly discontinuing medication can affect the child.

 

[Larry Gude]

Time out...

That's beside the point at hand and they can fight about that at their leisure. The immediate concern is how abruptly discontinuing medication can affect the child.

...that is THE point. She's already convinced that she MUST be on it and the consequences otherwise are serious. Therefore, everything she sees as valid concerns, he sees as nonsense. Therefore any reactions the kid may have to a sudden stop are going to be viewed by mom as very serious and by dad as a headache or maybe just feeling a little punk for a day or so.

I mean, Jesus, what the hell is she on that's gonna cause all that serious of a problem?

Here's what we're talking about;

http://www.daytrana.com/

Here's what it does to some kids when you USE it;

The most common side effects reported with Daytrana were decreased appetite, sleeplessness, sadness/crying, twitching, weight loss, nausea, vomiting, tics, and affect lability (mood swings). Aggression, new abnormal thoughts/behaviors, mania, and growth suppression have been associated with use of drugs of this type. Tell your doctor if the child has blurred vision while using Daytrana.

Jeez.

 

[vraiblonde]

Jeez.

Well, you already know I don't believe in drugging children. But that's a conversation that should have taken place when they put DQ on the meds in the first place. Maybe Crab just needs to call the doctor and find out if discontinuing for several days can have any adverse reactions. If the answer is "no", then what's the problem? But if the answer is "yes", then Dad needs to take a different tack.

 

[Sharon]

This is pointless...kids in high school sell/give away their ADD/ADHD medications all the time. I can't believe starting and stopping these meds is THAT dangerous.

This whole ordeal is a battle of wills between two parents to justify medication which may or may not be needed. And we're only hearing one side and it's from the giver of meds. Crabby if you think the stop/start cycle is dangerous to your child take her back to the docs and get medical proof, not just opinions.

 

[Larry Gude]

Thank you...

This is pointless...kids in high school sell/give away their ADD/ADHD medications all the time. I can't believe starting and stopping these meds is THAT dangerous.

This whole ordeal is a battle of wills between two parents to justify medication which may or may not be needed. And we're only hearing one side and it's from the giver of meds. Crabby if you think the stop/start cycle is dangerous to your child take her back to the docs and get medical proof, not just opinions.

...VM.

Now, if I could just remember what I was doing...oh yeah! Working on a door...