Poll for divorced people
- Thread starter vraiblonde
- Start date
pixiegirl
Cleopatra Jones
Kizzy said:I am not surprised to see that more women leave then men. I think women need to feel they have a purpose in a relationship meaning they need to know they are appreciated and loved.
My DH and I have talked about this at great lengths this past weekend. As a matter of fact, I almost left in the 4th year of marriage, mainly due to him always being at work, gone, never home, and I was alone a great deal. He became a stranger to me. Last year, around August 2003, 13 years of marriage, neither one of us were happy, he and I both felt neglected at some level. I tossed myself into other things to deal with his absence for years, college, separate friends, even separate vacations, and at that point in our marriage, both of us felt we only stayed for the kids, not each other. We kept putting everything on the back burner, neither of us wanting to make any life altering decisions, but last Christmas we decided to separate. We were fixing up the house, knowing that we were going to put it on the market in the summer of 2004. In May 2004, we decided to stay together and sell the house and move anyway. Relationships are hard, at some point, one or both are going to want out, it is a given, maybe it is the lack of communication, the absence, the not seeing things eye to eye, one feeling they don’t understand them or the other person, or just plain stubborn, who knows, but I honestly think women expect more and will walk away quicker when their expectations and needs are not met.
BTW, we both agreed we are glad we decided to stay. He is a rare bird and a good one.
I owe you when I get off karma restriction.
There are exactly some of the reasons why I haven't gotten married again. I am a "leaver" so to speak. Though I'm mouthy and will stand up for myself I really can't stand a lot of confrontation in a relationship. Instead of arguing or even confronting a problem (which I know most of the time will lead to an argument) I leave. I don't want to be unhappy and I don't want to see the person I'm with be unhappy so it's easier to just walk away from the situation entirely. I guess my relationship with my first husband left me somewhat jaded. I did fight with him. Too often; it was sometimes a daily occurance. I've left B more times then we've actually had arguments. Love is a complicated thing. Who knew. My parents ruined me. Been married for over 30 years and I've known them to have one fight. I'm sure they've had more but there's only one that I'm personally aware of. I'll admit, I'm a control freak and instead of trying to control the situation by fighting and trying to change someone else I control it by leaving and moving on. Not very effective though because the other half always comes chasing after me. I guess some things are just not for me to understand. 
I am confidant (or maybe hopeful) that one day there will be a happy medium.
Wickedwrench
Stubborn and opinionated
I was once told that the toughest time in a marriage comes between years 7 and 15. Almost as if people are programmed to get fed up with each other during that time span. How many of the peeps here had there marriages fail within that span?:shrug:vraiblonde said:
K
Kizzy
Guest
I went to lunch with a lady that has been married 4-times. This last marriage has lasted 15 years and is still going strong. She said “all relationships have issues, just the face changes, and once you except that perfection is nonexistent, you can work thru anything.”
oldman
Lobster Land
Both times it was the wives that left me. Both also happened at about the 11th year. I felt bad both times but figured if they asked me to leave things were over, so I just moved and left them everything. The 1st took the kids so she needed everything we had, the 2nd watched me leave with a coin jar with $119 in it. I'm still thankful for being married and remember all the good times we had. I still communicate with both.Wickedwrench said:
Larry Gude
Strung Out
Where is...
"Wouldn't eat her mushrooms"???
"Wouldn't eat her mushrooms"???
S
Sassygirl
Guest
My hubby and I split upon my request. After years of no trust I thought it time to move on. Not everyone agreed but not everyone lives in my house.
S
Sassygirl
Guest
mainman said:
He got caught several times, my fault for staying so long.
HORUS
Better than YOU.
Kizzy said:I am not surprised to see that more women leave then men. I think women need to feel they have a purpose in a relationship meaning they need to know they are appreciated and loved.
My DH and I have talked about this at great lengths this past weekend. As a matter of fact, I almost left in the 4th year of marriage, mainly due to him always being at work, gone, never home, and I was alone a great deal. He became a stranger to me. Last year, around August 2003, 13 years of marriage, neither one of us were happy, he and I both felt neglected at some level. I tossed myself into other things to deal with his absence for years, college, separate friends, even separate vacations, and at that point in our marriage, both of us felt we only stayed for the kids, not each other. We kept putting everything on the back burner, neither of us wanting to make any life altering decisions, but last Christmas we decided to separate. We were fixing up the house, knowing that we were going to put it on the market in the summer of 2004. In May 2004, we decided to stay together and sell the house and move anyway. Relationships are hard, at some point, one or both are going to want out, it is a given, maybe it is the lack of communication, the absence, the not seeing things eye to eye, one feeling they don’t understand them or the other person, or just plain stubborn, who knows, but I honestly think women expect more and will walk away quicker when their expectations and needs are not met.
BTW, we both agreed we are glad we decided to stay. He is a rare bird and a good one.
Good for you kizzy!
HORUS
Better than YOU.
pixiegirl said:I owe you when I get off karma restriction.
I hope you find that happiness you've deserved for so very long and all your dreams come true.
