I've never heard "potato eating" as a slur, beans yes, but never potatoes.
PSA
- Thread starter Kyle
- Start date
White House Assures Americans We're Not A Banana Republic, We're A Democratic Banana Republic
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to public outcry that America has descended to the level of a banana republic, the Biden administration assured the American people that the United States is a democratic banana republic.
"These wild statements need to stop," said White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. "Any assertion that this country has turned into a banana republic is completely off base. We are a democratic banana republic, in which the people have the illusion of being able to elect leaders who completely wreck everything. It's an important distinction."
babylonbee.com
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to public outcry that America has descended to the level of a banana republic, the Biden administration assured the American people that the United States is a democratic banana republic.
"These wild statements need to stop," said White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. "Any assertion that this country has turned into a banana republic is completely off base. We are a democratic banana republic, in which the people have the illusion of being able to elect leaders who completely wreck everything. It's an important distinction."
White House Assures Americans We're Not A Banana Republic, We're A Democratic Banana Republic
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to public outcry that America has descended to the level of a banana republic, the Biden administration assured the American people that the United States is a democratic banana republic.
babylonbee.com
Following Hurricane, California's Homeless Begin The Hard Work Of Re-Pooping All The Sidewalks
"Somebody's gotta do it," said a homeless vagrant who only identified himself by the name Banjo. "It took a lot of people a long time and a lot of effort to fully poop the sidewalks in this city, and that big storm just wiped it all away. It's really frustrating, but we'll work as hard as we can to restore everything the way it was."
babylonbee.com
"Somebody's gotta do it," said a homeless vagrant who only identified himself by the name Banjo. "It took a lot of people a long time and a lot of effort to fully poop the sidewalks in this city, and that big storm just wiped it all away. It's really frustrating, but we'll work as hard as we can to restore everything the way it was."
Following Hurricane, California's Homeless Begin The Hard Work Of Re-Pooping All The Sidewalks
LOS ANGELES, CA — In the wake of Tropical Storm Hilary hitting Southern California and washing away debris from the streets with torrential rain, the substantial homeless population in the greater Los Angeles area has now begun the monumental task of re-pooping the sidewalks.
babylonbee.com
Kamala Harris Arrives At Ground Zero To Give Speech About January 6
NEW YORK, NY — As the nation paused to remember the devastating attacks that took place on September 11, 2001, Vice President Kamala Harris arrived at the former site of the World Trade Center towers to mark the occasion by giving a speech about the Capitol riots on January 6, 2021.
"This is an important day," Harris said at the ceremony held at Ground Zero. "It is a Monday, which is the day before Tuesday, and it was a Tuesday on which something happened that changed the lives of every American. It was a day almost as bad as January 6, 2021, which was the most horrible day in the history of our nation, which is America."
babylonbee.com
NEW YORK, NY — As the nation paused to remember the devastating attacks that took place on September 11, 2001, Vice President Kamala Harris arrived at the former site of the World Trade Center towers to mark the occasion by giving a speech about the Capitol riots on January 6, 2021.
"This is an important day," Harris said at the ceremony held at Ground Zero. "It is a Monday, which is the day before Tuesday, and it was a Tuesday on which something happened that changed the lives of every American. It was a day almost as bad as January 6, 2021, which was the most horrible day in the history of our nation, which is America."
Kamala Harris Arrives At Ground Zero To Give Speech About January 6
NEW YORK, NY — As the nation paused to remember the devastating attacks that took place on September 11, 2001, Vice President Kamala Harris arrived at the former site of the World Trade Center towers to mark the occasion by giving a speech about the Capitol riots on January 6, 2021.
babylonbee.com
Apple Announces iPhone 15 Will Come Emblazoned With Name Of Uyghur Slave Who Assembled It
CUPERTINO, CA — In recognition of the hard-working Uyghur people enslaved in China, Apple CEO Tim Cook announced new iPhones would be etched with the name of the slave who assembled them.
"At Apple, we are all about innovation, not just in technology but in business," Cook said during Tuesday's live Apple event. "That's why today we are giving credit where credit is due. Everyone involved in the iPhone deserves to be recognized, even the Uyghur slaves in China that we exploit on a daily basis."
Apple fans had been feeling "icky" in recent years because of Apple's close cooperation with China and the involvement of Uyghur slave workers, say sources, but Apple fans see this as a step in the right direction.
babylonbee.com
CUPERTINO, CA — In recognition of the hard-working Uyghur people enslaved in China, Apple CEO Tim Cook announced new iPhones would be etched with the name of the slave who assembled them.
"At Apple, we are all about innovation, not just in technology but in business," Cook said during Tuesday's live Apple event. "That's why today we are giving credit where credit is due. Everyone involved in the iPhone deserves to be recognized, even the Uyghur slaves in China that we exploit on a daily basis."
Apple fans had been feeling "icky" in recent years because of Apple's close cooperation with China and the involvement of Uyghur slave workers, say sources, but Apple fans see this as a step in the right direction.
Apple Announces iPhone 15 Will Come Emblazoned With Name Of Uyghur Slave Who Assembled It
CUPERTINO, CA — In recognition of the hard-working Uyghur people enslaved in China, Apple CEO Tim Cook announced new iPhones would be etched with the name of the slave who assembled them.
babylonbee.com
Finally a set of headphones I like.
10 Differences Between Capitalism & Communism
Difference #1:
Under capitalism, the Starbucks barista sometimes gets your order wrong.
Under communism, there is no Starbucks and you've been dead for thirty years.
Difference #2:
Under capitalism, going to the grocery store is such a chore. There are too many choices!
Under communism, the bread lines only stock official Government Bread™, so you don't have to make any decisions whatsoever. Simple!
Difference #3:
Under capitalism, you can feast on more delicacies than ancient kings could ever have imagined.
Under communism, also true. Haha, just kidding. You were dreaming of such things in Gulag.
More...
babylonbee.com
Difference #1:
Under capitalism, the Starbucks barista sometimes gets your order wrong.
Under communism, there is no Starbucks and you've been dead for thirty years.
Difference #2:
Under capitalism, going to the grocery store is such a chore. There are too many choices!
Under communism, the bread lines only stock official Government Bread™, so you don't have to make any decisions whatsoever. Simple!
Difference #3:
Under capitalism, you can feast on more delicacies than ancient kings could ever have imagined.
Under communism, also true. Haha, just kidding. You were dreaming of such things in Gulag.
More...
10 Differences Between Capitalism & Communism
Capitalists and communists have been at each other's throats for years — but why? Aren't they, deep down, all just the same? To find out, we recruited a team of expert political scientists to explain the key differences between these two ideologies so we can feel smarter.
babylonbee.com
So #7 under communism the national pastime is Lacrosse?10 Differences Between Capitalism & Communism
Difference #1:
Under capitalism, the Starbucks barista sometimes gets your order wrong.
Under communism, there is no Starbucks and you've been dead for thirty years.
Difference #2:
Under capitalism, going to the grocery store is such a chore. There are too many choices!
Under communism, the bread lines only stock official Government Bread™, so you don't have to make any decisions whatsoever. Simple!
Difference #3:
Under capitalism, you can feast on more delicacies than ancient kings could ever have imagined.
Under communism, also true. Haha, just kidding. You were dreaming of such things in Gulag.
More...
10 Differences Between Capitalism & Communism
Capitalists and communists have been at each other's throats for years — but why? Aren't they, deep down, all just the same? To find out, we recruited a team of expert political scientists to explain the key differences between these two ideologies so we can feel smarter.
Sneakers
Just sneakin' around....
8 Horrific Atrocities And How NBC News Reported Them
1. Passengers aboard the Titanic accidentally drink a little too much water
3. Abraham Lincoln dies after hitting head on a bullet
7. Joan of Arc dies after rapid onset of heat exhaustion
More...
babylonbee.com
1. Passengers aboard the Titanic accidentally drink a little too much water
3. Abraham Lincoln dies after hitting head on a bullet
7. Joan of Arc dies after rapid onset of heat exhaustion
More...
8 Horrific Atrocities And How NBC News Reported Them
Though millions only just discovered the unique way NBC News covers violent atrocities, the accomplished journalists over at NBC have actually been cooking up those one-of-a-kind headlines for decades! Here is a sampling of some of our favorite actual NBC News headlines describing horrific...
babylonbee.com