Question for guys

vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
mitzi said:
just not sure whether to tell him why or just ignore the call. This "dating" sh*t sucks.
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Don't listen to these people on here who are saying enjoy the adventure, practice guy, etc. Obviously they didn't read your post, or at least not the part that said quite clearly that this guy is giving you the runaround.

What adventure? The adventure of dealing with a flake?

What practice? Practice being rejected and dicked around?

Nobody needs that. He doesn't want you right now, but he might want you later so he's keeping you on a string.

If you try and have a conversation with him about this he'll try and play it off, like he didn't do anything wrong, has no idea what you're talking about, and you're crazy. Which you will be if you continue to be a part of his games.

I vote "ignore him and his calls". Unless you're bored and just want the entertainment - but know that this is going nowhere and the guy isn't interested in anything other than jerking you around.
 
mAlice

mAlice

professional daydreamer
mitzi said:
Opinions please. I'm not stressed about this or even give 2 craps to be honest, but just curious. I was asked me out about year and a half ago. We went for coffee & lunch a few times. Then he doesn't call anymore. No biggie. When I do run into him, he asks if I would want to go out again. He'll call and says he'll call in a few day so we can get together. Again, no call. This has happened a few times with this guy. NOW, he called out of the blue (I haven't even run into him since early summer) & asked if I would still be interested in doing things with him. WTH.
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Sounds like he's burnin' through his little black book, and you're one of the people he calls when he can't find anyone else to come out and play.

I'd tell him to lose my number.
 
SamSpade

SamSpade

Well-Known Member
Can I offer a different perspective?

I often did something LIKE this, because I was :

1. Used to casual dating - from time to time, going out with someone I liked, but didn't pursue it further. I spent a great deal of my adult life where this was the norm; you go out from time to time, but maybe not so often unless you really think she is interested.

2. USUALLY accepted the fact that my date really wasn't terribly interested in seeing only me, especially after just one date, no matter how good it was. Once or twice I embarrassingly asked if we could see each other - as in, a girlfriend - and I got a look like, damn, you thought you needed to ASK? So I had no idea most of the time.

In retrospect, I know I dated a lot of women that would have loved to go out with me all the time, but I just didn't get that. My general impression was, they enjoy my company, but that's about it - and for many women I dated, that was exactly the case.

I was also a little gun shy - I'd dated lots of women who had NO INTEREST in me specifically - like one I was with intimately for months - who just wanted to make another guy jealous.

He might be flaky or not too interested, but he might also not get the idea that you like him at all.
 
KDENISE977

KDENISE977

New Member
The more you ignore him, the more interested he'll get. :buddies:

You may as well be straight with him and tell him you don't get why he does this?
 
SamSpade

SamSpade

Well-Known Member
KDENISE977 said:
The more you ignore him, the more interested he'll get. :buddies:

You may as well be straight with him and tell him you don't get why he does this?
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THAT would have worked with me. If I was getting the idea that she was just not all that interested, this would have made the difference.
 
lucky_bee

lucky_bee

RBF expert
KDENISE977 said:
The more you ignore him, the more interested he'll get. :buddies:

You may as well be straight with him and tell him you don't get why he does this?
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That's what I'd do. At this point, there's nothing wrong with asking him upfront, "hey, why the run-around? I'm interested but I'm hesitant bc every time we start this, you disappear...Not saying this needs to be serious, but it hardly feels like dating when it is as sporadic as it's been".

I think you're entitled to at least ask that and hear what he says. If he gives you anything but straight answers, move on.
 
GURPS

GURPS

INGSOC
PREMO Member
SamSpade said:
My general impression was, they enjoy my company, but that's about it - and for many women I dated, that was exactly the case.

I was also a little gun shy - I'd dated lots of women who had NO INTEREST in me specifically - like one I was with intimately for months - who just wanted to make another guy jealous.

He might be flaky or not too interested, but he might also not get the idea that you like him at all.
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yes, men can be clueless ... I found out yrs later after high school, there were a couple girls that had a crush on me, but were too shy to say anything :mad:
 
Hank

Hank

my war
GURPS said:
yes, men can be clueless ... I found out yrs later after high school, there were a couple girls that had a crush on me, but were too shy to say anything :mad:
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Damn! They sure missed out on something "special"! :buddies:
 
mitzi

mitzi

Well-Known Member
vraiblonde said:
What adventure? The adventure of dealing with a flake?

What practice? Practice being rejected and dicked around?
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I've been thru that adventure with my ex-husband. This is why is he my ex. :yahoo: I will never get involved with anyone again who doesn't have any common courtesy. I get the busy, etc., etc. but it takes less than a couple minutes to make a phone call and say "hey, I can't make it, maybe at a later date" or something to that effect.
At first I thought there may something to this guy, I did like his company but this was quite awhile back. This call the other day just made me stop and think WTF??
 
mitzi

mitzi

Well-Known Member
lucky_bee said:
That's what I'd do. At this point, there's nothing wrong with asking him upfront, "hey, why the run-around? I'm interested but I'm hesitant bc every time we start this, you disappear...Not saying this needs to be serious, but it hardly feels like dating when it is as sporadic as it's been".

I think you're entitled to at least ask that and hear what he says. If he gives you anything but straight answers, move on.
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It doesn't even matter what his reasons are, I'm not seeing him this week or another 6 months down the road :killingme. I'm not sure if I'll tell him why or just ignore him if or when he calls again or I run into him somewhere. Depends on the mood I'm in at the time. I have my expectations (courtesy) and I'm not settling for anything less.
 
Bann

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
PREMO Member
vraiblonde said:
Don't listen to these people on here who are saying enjoy the adventure, practice guy, etc. Obviously they didn't read your post, or at least not the part that said quite clearly that this guy is giving you the runaround.
I
What adventure? The adventure of dealing with a flake?

What practice? Practice being rejected and dicked around?

Nobody needs that. He doesn't want you right now, but he might want you later so he's keeping you on a string.

If you try and have a conversation with him about this he'll try and play it off, like he didn't do anything wrong, has no idea what you're talking about, and you're crazy. Which you will be if you continue to be a part of his games.

I vote "ignore him and his calls". Unless you're bored and just want the entertainment - but know that this is going nowhere and the guy isn't interested in anything other than jerking you around.
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This is my 2¢ as well.
 
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