Question for the men...

[Hessian]

Harsh reality here...

My wife had a very hot form when we were in college...I chased her for four years. However...after a child and 20yrs of marriage I have found something I totally did not expect....

A loss of intimacy based on appearance. Fighting with diets, dealing with stress, chronic back aches--and a low self esteem when she looks in the mirror has led to almost no intimacy at all.

Moral of the story...if a woman is fighting a weight problem...she may prove to be a great companion, good cook, and tender....but: very possible you will end up like the Dick Van Dyke show sleeping arrangement...no flirting, and no sensuality.

Is this what men think of when they see a weighty date?

 

[Bogart]

The E-Harmony commercials make it sound like they hook people up on all levels of compatibility and she needs to get her picture and herself out there.

I don't recall seeing any fatties or fuglies hooking up on the eHarmony commercials

 

[CityGrl]

My wife had a very hot form when we were in college...I chased her for four years. However...after a child and 20yrs of marriage I have found something I totally did not expect....

A loss of intimacy based on appearance. Fighting with diets, dealing with stress, chronic back aches--and a low self esteem when she looks in the mirror has led to almost no intimacy at all.

Moral of the story...if a woman is fighting a weight problem...she may prove to be a great companion, good cook, and tender....but: very possible you will end up like the Dick Van Dyke show sleeping arrangement...no flirting, and no sensuality.

Is this what men think of when they see a weighty date?

Sorry to say this, but it works both ways. Men get old and fat too, it's an aging thing.

I think that the whole low self-esteem thing is BS. If you are both committed to it, you can bring intimacy back into a relationship after 20, 30, 40 years. Make her feel good about herself. Tell her she's beautiful. Buy her a new dress, take her to dinner, make her feel like the beauty that she was when you met her. Yes, you both may be older, but that doesn't mean you should sleep in separate beds and stop touching one another.

Just my two cents.

 

[morganj614]

I don't recall seeing any fatties or fuglies hooking up on the eHarmony commercials

I do recall seeing a few "not so perfect" ladies on there...Beauty means different things to different people.

 

[CityGrl]

I do recall seeing a few "not so perfect" ladies on there...Beauty means different things to different people.

 

[Bogart]

Other ways to meet people...Join a wine club if that is an interest. Go to a sports bar to watch your favorite team. There are dance lessons, card groups, book clubs, coffee shops, car clubs, boating...all kinds of ways to meet people.

We hear noise from a woman's high heals. MARLA SINGER enters, smoking. She has short hair matte black hair and big, dark eyes like a character from Japanese animation.
​

JACK (V.O.)
And she ruined everything.​

Marla looks around.
​

MARLA
This is cancer, right?​

Bob and Jack stare, dumbfounded.
​

INT. FIRST METHODIST CHURCH MEETING ROOM - LATER
Everyone sits back in their seats. MOVE THROUGH ROOM...FIND JACK'S FACE as he stares....MOVE THROUGH ROOM...FIND MARLA'S FACE. She's drinking coffee, smoking a cigarette.
​

JACK (V.O.)
This...chick...Marla Singer...did not have testicular cancer. She was a liar.​

 

[RoseRed]

Bogart - what the heck is that?

 

[morganj614]

My wife had a very hot form when we were in college...I chased her for four years. However...after a child and 20yrs of marriage I have found something I totally did not expect....
A loss of intimacy based on appearance. Fighting with diets, dealing with stress, chronic back aches--and a low self esteem when she looks in the mirror has led to almost no intimacy at all.
Moral of the story...if a woman is fighting a weight problem...she may prove to be a great companion, good cook, and tender....but: very possible you will end up like the Dick Van Dyke show sleeping arrangement...no flirting, and no sensuality.
Is this what men think of when they see a weighty date?

My question to you is...Do you still desire her no matter what or are you contributing to this dilemma?
Alot of attraction is attitude and trust me, I ain't perfect but I got attitude so I know.
Your attitude can helps hers or you can decide it's not working and make another choice.

 

[Wickedwrench]

Thanks I'll keep that in mind. I am not hard to look at, but I seem to attract some real weirdos.

How ya doin?

 

[CityGrl]

My question to you is...Do you still desire her no matter what or are you contributing to this dilemma?
Alot of attraction is attitude and trust me, I ain't perfect but I got attitude so I know.
Your attitude can helps hers or you can decide it's not working and make another choice.

 

[morganj614]

We hear noise from a woman's high heals. MARLA SINGER enters, smoking. She has short hair matte black hair and big, dark eyes like a character from Japanese animation.
​

JACK (V.O.)
And she ruined everything.​

Marla looks around.
​

MARLA
This is cancer, right?​

Bob and Jack stare, dumbfounded.
​

INT. FIRST METHODIST CHURCH MEETING ROOM - LATER
Everyone sits back in their seats. MOVE THROUGH ROOM...FIND JACK'S FACE as he stares....MOVE THROUGH ROOM...FIND MARLA'S FACE. She's drinking coffee, smoking a cigarette.
​

JACK (V.O.)
This...chick...Marla Singer...did not have testicular cancer. She was a liar.​

FIGHT CLUB

 

[RoseRed]

How ya doin?

See!








j/k

 

[Wickedwrench]

See!

j/k

As long as you got a chuckle then my day is complete.

 

[RoseRed]

As long as you got a chuckle then my day is complete.

You should see me laugh at myself. It happens more often than not.

 

[Nickel]

Here's what I have to say about it: My cousin has got to be the most gorgeous girl/woman I have ever seen that wasn't paid to be that way. Killer smile, flawless year-round-tan skin (naturally), beautiful jet black, silky hair, and due to a thyroid problem, she's a little overweight. She doesn't seem overweight to me though, because she's so energetic, has such a great personality, and (the important part) carries herself like she's it, but not in a narcissistic way. She's now married to a little hottie that she dated in high school, who just so happens to be a great guy to boot. The moral of the story is that for some people looks/physique make or break a deal, but the whatever-percent of guys that are out there who take two seconds to look past that are worth the wait. :shrug:

 

[morganj614]

Here's what I have to say about it: My cousin has got to be the most gorgeous girl/woman I have ever seen that wasn't paid to be that way. Killer smile, flawless year-round-tan skin (naturally), beautiful jet black, silky hair, and due to a thyroid problem, she's a little overweight. She doesn't seem overweight to me though, because she's so energetic, has such a great personality, and (the important part) carries herself like she's it, but not in a narcissistic way. She's now married to a little hottie that she dated in high school, who just so happens to be a great guy to boot. The moral of the story is that for some people looks/physique make or break a deal, but the whatever-percent of guys that are out there who take two seconds to look past that are worth the wait. :shrug:

Nickel, she has attitude. If you can be confident and carry yourself a certain way, you can have what you want.

 

[Bogart]

Oh, yeah, I have a 'thyroid' problem, too

 

[RoseRed]

Nickel, she has attitude. If you can be confident and carry yourself a certain way, you can have what you want.

 

[kwillia]

IMO, Every intimate relationship must begin with attraction. Something clicks between two people. Sometimes a relationship is forced based on some other need or drive and that usually leads for a failed relationship at some point down the road. Sometimes such a spark occurs between two people unexpectedly and that could lead to the breakup of an existing relationship that is already in the thros of failure resulting in an affair for one or more parties. This spark or attraction that I speak of is a personal thing. What I mean is what sets us off is different for each of us and is usually derived from a COMBINATION of mental AND physical stimulation. This is why there is usually someone out there willing to BANG-BANG-BANG each and every one of us. The ill-will and discontent comes when the seeker and the seekee don't spark at the same time. It's natural selection at it's finest. It happens in species other than humans as well. Based on this theory of mine, getting to know someone "mentally" via verbal and written communication can tip the scales of making someone more attractive because of a composite "score" where great scoring in the "personality" department carry enough weight to boost physical attraction. Does this always help? Of course not, and when it doesn't, it's just as Otter said... move along... that person is not the person for you. Someone better is out there.

 

[Otter]

Please email to me.......

Will do...