Roadside memorials

[Pete]

Re: Dead end

Originally posted by Dals_daddy
Someone asked why not go to a graveyard, personally I hate them.

Exactly, and I don't like driving through one to home/work either. If you are grieving do it at home, make a shrine, visit the grave, pray, carry a picture, chant or whatever you want but why make a public spectacle with a garish pile of plastic flowers, balloons, crosses and teddy bears that everyone has to drive by.

 

[tipsy mcgee]

I'm all for respect of lost loved ones, but that is what cemeteries are for. If we lost someone in a tragic accident on the road, you're going to be reminded of that by just driving through there. You don't need a memorial to remind you. I think they're fine to be put up immediately following the accident, but not forever. I would bet most of these memorials are put up by friends and somewhat close relatives rather than close relatives, parents/children, the ones with the really heavy grief. I did say most, not all.

 

[Dymphna]

Re: Dead end

Originally posted by Dals_daddy
Someone asked why not go to a graveyard, personally I hate them.

Graveyards and their stones are a way of remembering the dead. The same is true of roadside memorials. Graves are often referred to as a "final resting place." You don't like them, so you avoid them. That is your right. But you support turning every street corner into the same thing, so no one can avoid them. At least cemetaries have caretakers to get rid of dead flowers. If people really respect the deceased and their roadside memorials why don't they visit from time and pick up the dead flowers etc.?

Oh yeah, Mr. 4 Years Out Of High School. Cari didn't even slam you - all she did was disagree with your opinion.

At 22 or so, you are a good bit younger than a lot of people around here, including most of those you disagree with. And it seems to me that most of these memorials are for younger people. Plenty of middle-aged and elderly people die on the roads too, but few of them have these roadside memorials, so you might want to reconsider which opinions here are more youth oriented (psst, I'm trying to be polite and not call YOU the child, because I'm not quite old enough to be your mother, close, but not quite)

 

[Dals_daddy]

You aren't even worth my time.

 

[RoseRed]

I grew up in California and lost several friends in high school and afterwards due to car accidents. We never set up roadside memorials.

 

[Ken King]

Why anyone would want a daily physical reminder of their loss and where it happened is beyond me. And from what I see it is usually those outside of the victims immediate family that are the ones doing it (in other words - friends). What gives anyone the right to set up a roadside memorial in the first place? If you don't own the property you have no right to it. Furthermore as some have pointed out they are creating a hazard themselves that could cause others to be injured or killed.

In St. Mary's there is a memorial in Great Mills away from the graveyards for youngsters to be remembered. Get their names added to the statue or petition the county commissioners to have all roadside deaths memorialized but quit littering the roadsides with mylar balloons, fake flowers, and other tacky junk.

 

[Dymphna]

Re: Youngness

Originally posted by Dals_daddy
ISo why should my age keep from making a "MATURE" statement on this forum.

You know when I was younger, like freshman in high school, we thought we were so mature we used to call other people "children." But it was only a few years later that I realized that doing that was, in itself, childish and we were not mature at all.

You are right that age has nothing to do with maturity, but neither does owning a house and having a kid.

 

[Dymphna]

Here's a thread where we talked about what it means to be a grown-up.

 

[sockgirl77]

I guess that people need to grieve in different ways. People who just think that it's an eyesore instead of a memorial have never lost a loved one in an accident. I have lost several. I did put flowers down at the cite. I didn't do the balloons and teddy bears b/c they were guys and it wouldn't seem fit. I do agree that balloons are meant for birthdays and joyous occasions. I only put flowers down at the cite until they had gravestones. Now I visit them there. To those who asked if we wanted to remember them by seeing the flowers on the road: Everytime that I pass by that certain cite on Indian Bridge Road my heart skips a beat. I don't need to flowers down to remember so I don't think that having flowers there would matter. Bad memories are there to stay. All that I am asking to those who are posting is please have a little compassion for those who have had to deal with this. You'd never understand it until you've had to go through it.

 

[Ken King]

People who just think that it's an eyesore instead of a memorial have never lost a loved one in an accident.

Wrong, I’ve lost a loved one on the roads down here. Drive by it every day. Hurts every day. Has for 30 years. I know what happened here. Don’t tell me about pain. Why must I also share everyone else’s? I don’t force mine on you nor would I ever dream of doing so.

 

[vraiblonde]

You know how people will get on here and have personal issues? Like a man and woman hashing out their relationship on the board instead of in person like they should? I think of roadside memorials the same way.

 

[willie]

Originally posted by vraiblonde
You know how people will get on here and have personal issues? Like a man and woman hashing out their relationship on the board instead of in person like they should? I think of roadside memorials the same way.

I don't think you really mean that. Look at all the pages of laughable "advice" it generates when people start hashing on each other. I got here late, who stepped on dals_daddy's weenie to make him so mad?

 

[yardsalequeen]

Originally posted by migtig
... I also have seen three crosses off of the on ramp where I get gas in SC, but again they are rather large and on someone's private property - just visible from the road.
:shrug:

I've seen the 3 crosses set up in various states -like alone in a field or hilltop or whatever. I think its a religious symbol in general - put up by a local church. If I remember correctly, I think the church across from White Sands has the 3 crosses. Its not meant as a roadside memorial to regular people.

 

[vraiblonde]

Originally posted by willie
I don't think you really mean that.

I didn't say it wasn't amusing. I'm just talking about the need for publicity that some people have.

And, Cari, don't EVEN try to take credit for peeing off the Daddy. I've seen you do much worse.

 

[mamissa3]

road side memorials

I am someone who lost some one at a young age due to falling asleep driving. I beleive that roadside memorials are ok for a peroid of time. And yes they do them all over the country. I have lived in several states

 

[RoseRed]

I am someone who lost some one at a young age due to falling asleep driving. I beleive that roadside memorials are ok for a peroid of time. And yes they do them all over the country. I have lived in several states

Tig

 

[Dixie]

They were all over the place in Savannah, GA so I thought it was a southern thing. A friend of mine, born and raised there, told me the locals respect death a bit more than us unruly Northerners, i.e. if a funeral procession passes, people pull their cars over to the shoulder, get out and place their hands over their hearts. The cemeteries are something else again. They place all sorts of seasonally appropriate things on the plots and toys on those of children. In one cemetery there was an actual toilet and a six pack of beer placed on the plot of some veteran.

 

[itsbob]

Do people in other states do this or is it just Maryland? A girl in my son's class killed herself on a stretch of road coming to school. Her female classmates were keening and wailing like this girl was their best friend. They set up this enormous memorial on the side of the road, too. When I asked Doug about it, he informed me that most of those girls barely knew Leah.

Death bandwagon. Kinda freaky.

YES, in NH it was VERY big.. and even worked to get the state to improve a stretch of highway leading to the beach.. it was OBVIOUS by the amount of memorials that a LOT of people were dying on this two lane stretch of road.. Was also big in Europe, and the first time I saw it was in an Army trining area in Germany, alongside a VERY dangerous piece of tank trail.. there were at least a dozen in this one spot and reminded us to be very careful when bringing our tanks through there..

BUT I think this dates back to the Armies of not TOO long ago, when whereever a soldier died, that's where he was buried, and that's where his (at the time only men) memorial was at. I think starting in Vietnam MAYBE Korea we started shipping our warriors back home to be buried in family plots instead of burying them like warriors with honor, on the battlefield that took their lives..
Australia's army still practices this, and as far as I know, as little far back as the Falkland Islands, the Brits still do this as well..

 

[rack'm]

I grew up in California and lost several friends in high school and afterwards due to car accidents. We never set up roadside memorials.

and you call yourself a friend....

 

[kwillia]

and you call yourself a friend....

You miss her already, dontchu...