Say a prayer for hubby

[belvak]

Paso, thanks for the recent update. My thoughts and prayers are still with you and Bill! Keep on hanging in there and remember there are lots of us out here thinking of you!

 

[Nanny Pam]

Good morning, Paso!!

 

[CalvertNewbie]

Pasofever you can not physically, emotionally or mentally take care of your husband and your mom at the same time. I understand that you want to respect your FILs wishes but unless he wants to come over every day and help you with the bed changing and the baths then I say you do what you need to do for you. Believe me I have been there done that.......I covered every angle, every option......your husband will be better off in a care facility....I know you will have guilt about this but making yourself sick trying to take care of two is not right either. You do what is right for you and don't worry about the relatives.....in time that takes care of itself. I wish you all the best. My best advice to you is to look into getting your husband's social security checks, he is disabled and it will help you with the bills. This is not a handout he worked for that money.

This is really great advice. You can't put yourself in an early grave to make your FIL happy. I can't imagine having both your Mom and Bill home, with you being the sole caregiver with little assistance. You really do need to figure out what's best for you when that time comes and remain strong, regardless if your FIL is happy with your decision or not. He'll understand, it just may take some time. I hope that Bill starts showing some real progress in the near future, to take some of this stress off of you.

Just remember that your family is in all of our thoughts & prayers. Take care of you, first & foremost.

 

[kwillia]

This is really great advice. You can't put yourself in an early grave to make your FIL happy. I can't imagine having both your Mom and Bill home, with you being the sole caregiver with little assistance. You really do need to figure out what's best for you when that time comes and remain strong, regardless if your FIL is happy with your decision or not. He'll understand, it just may take some time. I hope that Bill starts showing some real progress in the near future, to take some of this stress off of you.

Correct me if I'm wrong... but doesn't it cost the family each and every month to keep someone in a care facility...

 

[cattitude]

Correct me if I'm wrong... but doesn't it cost the family each and every month to keep someone in a care facility...

Not necessarily.

 

[itsbob]

I'm not familiar with a situation like this, but would it be a good idea to talk to a lawyer that specializes in things like SSI.. Long term care.. etc?

I don't know who to talk to, but I would think there is someone out there with a lot more knowledge than any of us has, that can help you find the money, and tell you different routes to take that would be in the best interest of him and you.

 

[cattitude]

I'm not familiar with a situation like this, but would it be a good idea to talk to a lawyer that specializes in things like SSI.. Long term care.. etc?

I don't know who to talk to, but I would think there is someone out there with a lot more knowledge than any of us has, that can help you find the money, and tell you different routes to take that would be in the best interest of him and you.

No lawyer. Depending on his income and assets, he can qualify for long term care medical assistance. With his level of care being fairly significant, the amount of assets/income isn't as great as someone with a lesser level of care.

There is also a medical waiver for older adults (over 50) but the waiting list is long but it would pay to get him on the list now.

Paso should contact the St. Mary's Department of Social Services and the Health Department for more information. She has choices other than bringing him home and some are at no cost to her.

 

[CalvertNewbie]

Correct me if I'm wrong... but doesn't it cost the family each and every month to keep someone in a care facility...

Not in every case - it really depends on the individual's situation. There are often options to assist the family in times like this. I, of course, am no expert but I do know that there are other options worth looking into.

 

[KAT20619]

Prayers to you this day!

 

[ginwoman]

Paso, how are things going?

 

[belvak]

Hey Paso, still thinking of you, Bill, and your Mom!

 

[Pasofever]

Mom seems fine..eatting (drinking shakes) great..hospice comes out 3 X week now..

Bill will be 6 weeks Monday the rehab has put him on ritalin which is to wake him up...he will look at you now ...no verbalization or facial expressions other then to pain...he is moving around in the bed now they have to keep mittens on him so he does not pull out his trache etc...have a family meeting there for discharge plans next Wednesday..

 

[ImAChvyGirl]

Mom seems fine..eatting (drinking shakes) great..hospice comes out 3 X week now..

Bill will be 6 weeks Monday the rehab has put him on ritalin which is to wake him up...he will look at you now ...no verbalization or facial expressions other then to pain...he is moving around in the bed now they have to keep mittens on him so he does not pull out his trache etc...have a family meeting there for discharge plans next Wednesday..

Good luck and lots of 's. You will need them this wil be a long adventure.

 

[jaybeeztoo]

Mom seems fine..eatting (drinking shakes) great..hospice comes out 3 X week now..

Bill will be 6 weeks Monday the rehab has put him on ritalin which is to wake him up...he will look at you now ...no verbalization or facial expressions other then to pain...he is moving around in the bed now they have to keep mittens on him so he does not pull out his trache etc...have a family meeting there for discharge plans next Wednesday..

Again, you know how to find me whether you need a shoulder or someone to swing a hammer and bang some nails

 

[debNdelaware]

Paso,
Please no i am always thinking of you and your family. Since i was given a nerve disorder called RSD, people always says God doesn't give you anything he doesn't think you can't handle. Don't think i am a non believer because i am. I AM A CHRISTIAN. My RSD pales in comparasion to what you have on your shoulders..Paso.. God knows you are a very strong woman,believe in that, and him ,and that will get you thru. I am here for you. Remember you have to take care of yourself as well. May God Bless you and your and keep you in his hands...debbie

 

[Pasofever]

I went to the rehab today and Bill was awake...he motioned for me to come over to him (he was in a wheel chair but very strapped in) he puckered his lips and I bent over he kissed me on my cheek and then lipped "I love you" I stood by him while he was in the chair and he rubbed my back some..he shook his head NO to a couple of questions..I wet a towel and wiped his face and asked if it felt better he nodded yes...We went to leave several times ..we planned to only be there an hour..everytime we said good bye he would reach out his hand...we stayed 2 hrs...they put him in the bed and he fell asleep...we left..wonder what next Wednesday will bring??

 

[PrepH4U]

I went to the rehab today and Bill was awake...he motioned for me to come over to him (he was in a wheel chair but very strapped in) he puckered his lips and I bent over he kissed me on my cheek and then lipped "I love you" I stood by him while he was in the chair and he rubbed my back some..he shook his head NO to a couple of questions..I wet a towel and wiped his face and asked if it felt better he nodded yes...We went to leave several times ..we planned to only be there an hour..everytime we said good bye he would reach out his hand...we stayed 2 hrs...they put him in the bed and he fell asleep...we left..wonder what next Wednesday will bring??

wow! Is he transferring to a Nursing facility or are you bringing him home?

 

[Pasofever]

wow! Is he transferring to a Nursing facility or are you bringing him home?

Plan for now is the next 2 plus weeks in this upscale rehab then at least his 100 days medicare will pay in St Marys...Will know more next week...

 

[Dougstermd]

I went to the rehab today and Bill was awake...he motioned for me to come over to him (he was in a wheel chair but very strapped in) he puckered his lips and I bent over he kissed me on my cheek and then lipped "I love you" I stood by him while he was in the chair and he rubbed my back some..he shook his head NO to a couple of questions..I wet a towel and wiped his face and asked if it felt better he nodded yes...We went to leave several times ..we planned to only be there an hour..everytime we said good bye he would reach out his hand...we stayed 2 hrs...they put him in the bed and he fell asleep...we left..wonder what next Wednesday will bring??

Dammint gurl you know how to get me teery eyed with this fread... That is awsome news. Keep your ears up

 

[Bay_Kat]

I went to the rehab today and Bill was awake...he motioned for me to come over to him (he was in a wheel chair but very strapped in) he puckered his lips and I bent over he kissed me on my cheek and then lipped "I love you" I stood by him while he was in the chair and he rubbed my back some..he shook his head NO to a couple of questions..I wet a towel and wiped his face and asked if it felt better he nodded yes...We went to leave several times ..we planned to only be there an hour..everytime we said good bye he would reach out his hand...we stayed 2 hrs...they put him in the bed and he fell asleep...we left..wonder what next Wednesday will bring??

Sounds like he has made great progress since your last post. I hope that he continues on his road to recovery and that is a speedy one.