Setting your kids up on a blind date?

[sinwagon]

Ok, my 18 year old son went to OC for beach week and came home with his first ever girlfriend who lives about 2 hours away. I send him out to sew his wild oats and he comes back acting like he is married! Now she is 3 hours away in college and he was going back and forth up there to see her and occasionally she would come spend the weekend here. I REALLY tried to like her, went out of my way in fact until I found out some stuff. And until my 18 year old was ready to quit school and everything to move up there and made the stupid statement of "I don't care if I do all the sacrificing so she doesn't have to" and was talking about marriage!

Now I am told boys go through something completely different than girls where they are COMPLETE IDIOTS over their first loves. Needless to say, the info about her has piled up and now......I JUST HATE HER!

I have been searching the myspace and found some girls that would be perfect for him or so they seem. I would love to go on that MTV show Parental control! Now I know they could all be deceiving but I think if he would allow himself a chance to meet and get to know other girls, he would see this one is not so special.

So just how wrong would it be to try and fix him up with someone else????

 

[FireBrand]

Ok, my 18 year old son went to OC for beach week and came home with his first ever girlfriend who lives about 2 hours away. I send him out to sew his wild oats and he comes back acting like he is married! Now she is 3 hours away in college and he was going back and forth up there to see her and occasionally she would come spend the weekend here. I REALLY tried to like her, went out of my way in fact until I found out some stuff. And until my 18 year old was ready to quit school and everything to move up there and made the stupid statement of "I don't care if I do all the sacrificing so she doesn't have to" and was talking about marriage!

Now I am told boys go through something completely different than girls where they are COMPLETE IDIOTS over their first loves. Needless to say, the info about her has piled up and now......I JUST HATE HER!

I have been searching the myspace and found some girls that would be perfect for him or so they seem. I would love to go on that MTV show Parental control! Now I know they could all be deceiving but I think if he would allow himself a chance to meet and get to know other girls, he would see this one is not so special.

So just how wrong would it be to try and fix him up with someone else????

Take it from a guy,
Your are not wrong to try, but until someone or something smacks
him up 'side da head' with a baseball bat kinda' realization,
your efforts will be futile......

 

[sinwagon]

Just promise me it does happen? I definately don't want this girl around any more than she has to be! So I guess he needs more proof? Geeze, I wonder what more it will take!

 

[vraiblonde]

So just how wrong would it be to try and fix him up with someone else????

Don't do it. Let it run its course - and it WILL run its course. A friend of mine had an experience with her son similar to what's going on with you. If you try to run this girl off, she will get your son to side with her against you - and she has more leverage because she's got him by the hmm-hmm. You're better off letting him come to on his own.

 

[baswm]

I agree with the others. Let it run it's course and if you try to prevent it, it may drive him closer to her. Just sit on the side lines and offer good advice and hopefully his eyes will be open before he does something dumb.

 

[aps45819]

You son needs to make his own mistakes in order to learn life's lessons.


Please refer to the aranging a date for your son as a "set up" in the future. Blind folks don't like being associated with the bizzare people you meet on such events. They already have enough problems TIA

 

[morganj614]

Now I am told boys go through something completely different than girls where they are COMPLETE IDIOTS over their first loves. Needless to say, the info about her has piled up and now......I JUST HATE HER!

I have been searching the myspace and found some girls that would be perfect for him or so they seem. I would love to go on that MTV show Parental control! Now I know they could all be deceiving but I think if he would allow himself a chance to meet and get to know other girls, he would see this one is not so special.

So just how wrong would it be to try and fix him up with someone else????

Your son is 18. Do not search for a girl for him, you'll only drive him away. You went searching on Myspace? It would be very wrong of you to try and fix him up.

 

[Magnum]

I was 17 and I met a girl online that lived on Kent island. I wish someone would have smacked some sence in me. That was about a year wasted. I would go out there a few times a week. Between work, school, and drinving out there I wore myself out. I wish my parents would have set me up, back then I would have said different. I really changed my life though, I had enlisted in the delayed entry program for the army before I met her. They did not come through with some of the deals made so I had an easy out. Makes me wonder, If I had never met her I would have shipped out july 11th 2000... Where would I be today

 

[bigtw34]

I have a friend that went through something similar to that. He also met the girl in OC, and they dated for about a year. No one liked her, not even his mom. But about 3 months ago, he finally came around and broke up with her. We all make mistakes, just give it some time and your son will come around.

 

[Ken King]

Don't mess with it or you will just make your kid want her more. Besides what's the worse that could happen, the girlfriend gets knocked-up and you become a grandparent.

 

[Fubar]

Don't mess with it or you will just make your kid want her more. Besides what's the worse that could happen, the girlfriend gets knocked-up and you become a grandparent.

And, and they move in, neither has a job, mooch off you and you raise the kid.

 

[nrp82smr]

i am a 24 year old female, so not quite the same situation but let me just say had my parents tried to interfear ( and they did) all that does is make your son pull further away from u, and if you are successful in getting him to break up it will be thrown back in ur face that it could have worked with her had u not gotten involved ( bottom line he needs to figure this out on his own) and he will...

 

[SamSpade]

Now I am told boys go through something completely different than girls where they are COMPLETE IDIOTS over their first loves.

Since when is idiocy over love the uncontested domain of young men? Everyone's been an idiot in love sometime. I've probably been an idiot in love almost every single time, as have all of my siblings - young, old, male, female.

"Everybody Plays the Fool" or so says The Main Ingredient.

 

[Pete]

Hire a hooker on the sly up where he goes to school to pick him up and spoil him for a couple weeks.

 

[bresamil]

At 18 he can vote.

At 18 he can go to war.

At 18 he can make his own love life mistakes. Just make sure you make it clear that any "consequences" will be his, and his alone, to deal with, not yours.

 

[Pandora]

At 18 he can vote.

At 18 he can go to war.

At 18 he can make his own love life mistakes. Just make sure you make it clear that any "consequences" will be his, and his alone, to deal with, not yours.

Yeah, but he isn't going to do that stuff while living under my roof.

























OMG, that statement made me sound like my father.

 

[bresamil]

Yeah, but he isn't going to do that stuff while living under my roof.

























OMG, that statement made me sound like my father.

Happens to all of us eventually.

Agree that sinwagon does not need to enable the relationship by allowing the girl to stay in her home. I would tell my child that I am uncomfortable with that situation - even if they are sleeping separately, because the opportunity is there. If they're doing the deed it wouldn't be under my roof.

 

[Sweet 16]

He is 18. He may be your baby, but legally he is an adult and you can't be there to cushion the fall forever. He needs to learn to make his own choices and how to deal with the consequences of his actions, even if it includes having his heart broken once or twice. We've all done it and lived to tell about it. I might be singing a different tune when my baby turns 18!

 

[mainman]

even if it includes having his heart broken once or twice.

or supporting a child that he is not ready to support...:shrug:

 

[willie]

Dump a bunch of potassium nitrate (KNO3) in his meals.