Six kids
- Thread starter vraiblonde
- Start date
Who knows things?Sharon said:
YOU!!!!!
PS, I did not edit this poll 
I was more thinking about Morgan. She's a suspicious type, ya know.Pandora said:How did you know I was wondering about that?
Not looking real good for Larry (and the counselor) up there, is it?
D
dems4me
Guest
Well Vria I'm probably late getting to this but I've just read the thread. I think right now you are feeling a little out of sorts because it SEEMS as though everyone is putting you on the hotseat as the potential Kill Joy. Your kids are upset because of being grounded and was initially told no to the party, so you may be carrying around a little guilt and maybe subconciously wondering if you did the right thing and you probably don't like conflict and there was conflict. Larry on the other hand tried to compromise (without consulting you) so he too has upset you and more conflict. You have virtually everyone there at your house thinking you are the odd ball. Its not a good place to be and then it makes you wondering if you are in the right or is everyone around me losing their marbles. Is it me or is it EVERYONE else around you?
I see it as two separate issues between the kids not being considerate of your wishes and larry doing the same thing all at the same time so you post a thread to validate your feelings. Your feelings are valid Vria
, they are always valid, they are YOUR feelings. 
Whether they are the appropriate feelings is what is at issue. I think they are completely appropriate. Its like the kids took a cattle prod to you and then larry did it too. If the kids felt uncomfortable about the basement being untidy, then explain to their friends that it was the kids responsibility to clean it and they never did.
I hope that helped some And I hope you have a better day tomorrow!
I see it as two separate issues between the kids not being considerate of your wishes and larry doing the same thing all at the same time so you post a thread to validate your feelings. Your feelings are valid Vria
, they are always valid, they are YOUR feelings. Whether they are the appropriate feelings is what is at issue. I think they are completely appropriate. Its like the kids took a cattle prod to you and then larry did it too. If the kids felt uncomfortable about the basement being untidy, then explain to their friends that it was the kids responsibility to clean it and they never did. I hope that helped some
And I hope you have a better day tomorrow!
Last edited by a moderator:
morganj614
New Member
vraiblonde said:
Crafty, please call me crafty 
I don't really like that mindset. I'd rather be told "no", then decide whether I'm going to do it anyway and to hell with the consequences, than be accused of doing something behind someone's back. I find that sort of thing dishonest.Pete said:
.02 here...
Delaying punishment is
The only waiver I could possibly see would be for a once in a lifetime event - prom, wedding and such... and even that would depend on the "crime"...
Under normal and reasonable circumstances, where there weren't already apparent *issues* circulating through the household - the pending punishment, the interpersonal snags, lack of accountability on the part of household members to do their part in chores (and so on) and areas of gray where it comes to boundaries - then I would say, "NO, not a party - it's a sleepover, no big deal"
HOWEVER - all of those things ARE going on. *insult to injury* <~~~ You've heard it before!!!
I would feel that I was losing a say about things in my own home - and that is the one place I do not like to feel uncomfortable.
It just doesn't seem like the right time or place or the appropriate actions were being taken, if you're trying to work on a better life within those walls.
Delaying punishment is
The only waiver I could possibly see would be for a once in a lifetime event - prom, wedding and such... and even that would depend on the "crime"... Under normal and reasonable circumstances, where there weren't already apparent *issues* circulating through the household - the pending punishment, the interpersonal snags, lack of accountability on the part of household members to do their part in chores (and so on) and areas of gray where it comes to boundaries - then I would say, "NO, not a party - it's a sleepover, no big deal"
HOWEVER - all of those things ARE going on. *insult to injury* <~~~ You've heard it before!!!
I would feel that I was losing a say about things in my own home - and that is the one place I do not like to feel uncomfortable.
It just doesn't seem like the right time or place or the appropriate actions were being taken, if you're trying to work on a better life within those walls.
crabcake
But wait, there's more...
elaine said:
I am SO with you on this one!
There are few kids who are allowed in our house, and that's only because they have demonstrated a mild manner and respect for authority. I will NOT be in a position in my house to have someone else's punk kid mouth off to me and not be able to respond in a way I see fit. 
As for "what contstitutes a party", I think saying that "it's only 6 kids; that's not a party" is kinda lame. It's like Bill Clinton asking for the definition of "is" or "sex".
It's still a party; she just narrowed down the invite list. Party/social/gathering, etc. ... it's still a fun girls-night, and it seems that was something on the restriction list. As for the delayed punishment ... that's
. Getting a speeding ticket is FAR different from being found guilty of a "crime". When you are found guilty, you go to jail. You don't get a couple of weeks to go home and get your affairs in order. :shrug:
crabcake
But wait, there's more...
And for the record, the little sleep-over DQ had last night got nixed at 9:45 because I got tired of her mouthing off to me. I went next door, talked to the dad, apologized for having to change the plan, but he backed me up 100% and said, "You're the parent; you have to lay the law and stand by your word. No problem." So I came back to the house, explained to the mild-mannered, well-behaved, non-mouthy guest that he did nothing wrong but his hostess did, and walked him home.
If you develop the pattern for being a softy, you'll end up like the parents of a friend of mine who's drunk, lying and possibly dying, but no one (including his parents) believes hime.
So I came back to the house, explained to the mild-mannered, well-behaved, non-mouthy guest that he did nothing wrong but his hostess did, and walked him home. If you develop the pattern for being a softy, you'll end up like the parents of a friend of mine who's drunk, lying and possibly dying, but no one (including his parents) believes hime.