Six kids

[Ken King]

I didn't really understand that one myself. Larry and the counselor thought it up. Something about if you get a speeding ticket, the cop doesn't expect you to pay it right then and there - you get a few weeks or whatever to pay it when it's more convenient.

This is a crock of sh!t and if the counselor is passing that off then you need another counselor. The reason you are given time is to decide if you want to challenge the ticket, not to make it more convenient. What happens when you get a ticket in another state? Many times you go right to a magistrate and must pay it right then and there.

And Larry was wrong, that was a party. One or two kids spending the night is one thing but six makes a party.

 

[Larry Gude]

So folks...

...as your all dressed up replete with pitchforks and torches, wanna hear the rest of the story, my side, before the lynching?

I didn't think so.


When #2 asked about the party and was told no, she also asked if she could then have some friends over. I said yes. One of the parents later claims they did not hear this. No one had moved. We were all in the same proximity. Same time.

Now, what is a typical number for #2 to have over? 2-4. That's normal. Are they loud? Do the Redskins stink this year? Are they in OUR home, otherwise behaving and NOT off somewhere else, out of sight, out of mind? Do the Redskins really stink this year?

Is it common for one parent to say OK to sleepovers on their own? No. Without exception, there is at least an understanding that the other knows and is cool with it. So, if one parent thought the other heard what the one parent heard, IE, 'can I have some friends over', and a 'I don't see why not', well, might we have the seeds of a misunderstanding rather than a federal case?

Now, #3 says 'can I have over some friends to?' I said no at first because it is common to try and limit one or the other for sleepovers. It is also common to say OK, especially when it is #3 because her friends are...calmer. So, #3 says, "Oh, dad, it's just Emmy and Kirky, and we'll be in my room all night!' So, being this horrible monster that likes to say 'yes' to the kids, guilty as charged, especially when it is something pretty normal that I would have guessed other parent was OK with, especially because I already thought they were.

So, #3 and her quiet pals are in her room all night, hardly a peep. #2 and her four roll in, laughing and giggling and make some noodles, grab some sodas and off to the basement to watch movies. Typical. Maybe quieter than normal.

No chips and cases of sodas. No 12 pizzas. No roaming the house laughing and screaming. No blaring music. No 50 kids and 1/2 dozen parents and extra calls for more everything. No paper plates and cups and napkins all over. Like last years cast party. Just the kids watching movies.

Some party, some party.

Now when other parent came home, she asked 'So, what's the deal?' I said #2 is having 4 and #3 is having 2. So, she's bent.

"So, they got their party after all?"

"It's 6 kids, not 50."

"You should have let me know first."

"You're right. I'm sorry."

We go round and round some more. What's the big deal, you shoulda let me know, it's too many kids, it's nothing unusual, ya da, ya da, round and round.

I DID think she'd heard the OK for friends over. 6 is NOT unusual and is a party only to Mormons and the people who live next door to the Simpson's. I DID acknowledge that I should have let her know, asked her, even though I already though it was OK and I did say I was SORRY.

All in all, to me, points on both sides, a dab of misunderstanding/miss communication and, viola, the anatomy of a rather typical tough parent/sap parent tiff.

 

[Pandora]

"You should have let me know first."

"You're right. I'm sorry."

I’m sure I’m going to regret responding but I’ve never been known to keep my mouth shut. And really, what is the worse they can do to me for venting my opinion, karma bomb me or post a picture of me with a hot dog in my mouth. Been there, done that.

Larry,

Out of your entire post, that is all that matters (what I quoted), none of the rest matters. You apologized, said she was right but then gave reasons as to why you did it, minimizing the appology. I’m sorry but that isn’t an apology. An apology is an “I’m sorry” with no excuses as to why. Whenever there is company, you should let your spouse know in advance, whether that is 1 person, 6 people or more. I think somewhere along the line the real issue here is control, feeling controlled, feeling as if you have no control, something along that line.

 

[Sharon]

When #2 asked about the party and was told no, she also asked if she could then have some friends over. I said yes.

Now, #3 says 'can I have over some friends to?' I said no at first
So, #3 says, "Oh, dad, it's just Emmy and Kirky, So, being this horrible monster that likes to say 'yes' to the kids, guilty as charged


Now when other parent came home, she asked 'So, what's the deal?' I said #2 is having 4 and #3 is having 2. So, she's bent.

"So, they got their party after all?"

"It's 6 kids, not 50."

"You should have let me know first."

"You're right. I'm sorry."

You know Larry, after I removed all the fluff, you're still wrong.

You taught the girls that if they beg/plead... Dad will change his mind. When you say "NO" leave it at "NO" and end the discussion. That's not to say you can't say "yes" some other time when you haven't ALREADY SAID NO.

Do you understand?

 

[vraiblonde]

...as your all dressed up replete with pitchforks and torches, wanna hear the rest of the story, my side, before the lynching?

Isn't that interesting? This is what I live with - voice an objection or criticism and have it blown completely out of proportion, change the language so that they are the victim of some terrible vendetta.

How tedious.

 

[Kyle]

Consultation should have been first... but I had to give Larry a vote.

I just hated to see him getting trounced in the poll.

 

[vraiblonde]

I think Larry has asperger's syndrome.

 

[crabcake]

I say ya take it to fight club and really have it out.

Just do it before the race, please.

 

[Toxick]

Isn't that interesting? This is what I live with - voice an objection or criticism and have it blown completely out of proportion,

I wouldn't say anything Larry has said or done is out of proportion at all.


You posted your argument (which, by the way, I think you're WAY overreacting over, if you want to talk about proportions) in a public forum - and not surprisingly the vast majority quite vocally sides with you.

I would also feel as if a torch weilding mob was crawling up my ass-pipe.

And frankly if Mrs. Toxick would air such an argument in public and I got the same reaction, my response would have been more hostile by several orders of magnitude.

You call it tedious if you want - I call it "unbelievably restrained".

 

[vraiblonde]

I wouldn't say anything Larry has said or done is out of proportion at all.


You posted your argument (which, by the way, I think you're WAY overreacting over, if you want to talk about proportions) in a public forum - and not surprisingly the vast majority quite vocally sides with you.

I would also feel as if a torch weilding mob was crawling up my ass-pipe.

And frankly if Mrs. Toxick would air such an argument in public and I got the same reaction, my response would have been more hostile by several orders of magnitude.

You call it tedious if you want - I call it "unbelievably restrained".

The reason it's not surprising that the vast majority agree with me is because I'm right and Larry was clearly wrong. I just got a note from the counselor saying so, and for her to disagree with ANYTHING Larry does is almost like blasphemy.

And if you would feel that a torch wielding mob was crawling up your ass-pipe simply because they disagree with you, then you are a hyper-defensive and unreasonable tard.

So there.

 

[vraiblonde]

BTW, I just read your post and my response to Larry and we've decided that you two should move in together and Mrs. Toxick can come live with me. Tell her to PM me and we'll make the arrangements.

 

[crabcake]

"When #2 asked about the party and was told no, she also asked if she could then have some friends over. I said yes. One of the parents later claims they did not hear this. No one had moved. We were all in the same proximity. Same time."

...

"You should have let me know first."

"You're right. I'm sorry."

...

I'm confused here. IF what Larry says is true, and Vrai was in the same room/spot when the conversation took place, why is he apologizing? I'd think his reponse would be, "I'm sorry; I thought you heard me answer the girls since you were right there in the room with us. And since you didn't object, I thought you were okay with this."

 

[vraiblonde]

...

I'm confused here. IF what Larry says is true, and Vrai was in the same room/spot when the conversation took place, why is he apologizing? I'd think his reponse would be, "I'm sorry; I thought you heard me answer the girls since you were right there in the room with us. And since you didn't object, I thought you were okay with this."

Damn. Good catch. I should hire you.

 

[vraiblonde]

Crab, Larry says to tell you to shut up, that he thought you said this was inappropriate to talk about.



Bullseye!

 

[crabcake]

Crab, Larry says to tell you to shut up, that he thought you said this was inappropriate to talk about.



Bullseye!

Why can't he say that? Did you ban him?

Yea, but ya'll kept posting after I said that, so that makes it fair game.

 

[vincenzo4]

You aren't out of line and I commend you for your dilligence in parenting.

I raised two, and the Calvert County culture was a daily challenge to my responsibile parenting. I fought almost daily to keep my kids focused and on point.

if they brough this up at 11pm last night, sounds to me like a tactic hoping you could be manipulated. Been there done that a few times.

Now, my 20 something children thank me for being consistently what they despised at the time. They have seen with their own eyes what has since transpired in the lives of kids in the Dunkirk crowd that made them so jealous.

Leading by example now has a standard for their own parenting when the time comes.

The souls of your children are in the palm of your hands and the passages of your heart. Hold them accountable and teach them how-not what-to think.

Love is action, love is real, love is selfless abandonment to save their lives.

Wait for the poll:

The girls asked Larry if they could have a party tonight. We told them no because they didn't bother to bring this up until 11:00 last night.

So, while I was at work today, they asked him if they could have 6 friends over tonight to spend the night. He, of course, told them yes without bothering to consult me on this. My points:

• The oldest just got off restriction and is going back on again on Monday for an infraction that happened last week (literally days after she got off restriction the first time).
• Neither of them have done their chores all week long
• They haven't done anything to deserve a party

Larry first tried to pretend that six kids isn't a party (because originally they wanted around 50). Then he threw the old, "So the kids can't have friends over ever??" Then he tried telling me I was hostile and out of control because I objected to this in less than dulcet tones.

So? Am I out of line to want to at least be consulted when the girls are having packs of friends over? Or is Larry out of line for doing this without talking to me first?

Poll coming up...

 

[vincenzo4]

One more thing

Kids will be kids, we were, and they should be allowed to be kids as well. If you have posted your concerns here, you love them dearly. Let them have fun, within conscious sensible parameters.

Just like adult life, this might be an opportunity to teach them a valuable lesson about what to expect when they flap their own wings:

You want the gathering, here are my conditions, number one being "quid pro quo". Here is what I want if you want that, and I better see results, now.

If you punk out on me the window to my generosity will close forever.

Been there. They didn't like it but consequences have an affect on a person's focus and regard for others, most importantly respect for parents.

Besides you aren't doing anything the big wide world would not do, so get them ready for it.

The reason it's not surprising that the vast majority agree with me is because I'm right and Larry was clearly wrong. I just got a note from the counselor saying so, and for her to disagree with ANYTHING Larry does is almost like blasphemy.

And if you would feel that a torch wielding mob was crawling up your ass-pipe simply because they disagree with you, then you are a hyper-defensive and unreasonable tard.

So there.

 

[Toxick]

BTW, I just read your post and my response to Larry and we've decided that you two should move in together and Mrs. Toxick can come live with me. Tell her to PM me and we'll make the arrangements.

I think you might be surprised which side Mrs Toxick would take in this situation.

 

[DoWhat]

I'm glad my wife doesn't post on these forums. You all would hate me even more than you do now.

 

[vraiblonde]

Besides you aren't doing anything the big wide world would not do, so get them ready for it.

That's the way I feel about it, but some other people say they're only kids once and they should have nothing but fond memories of parents who adore them and would do anything to make them happy.

The two that I raised by your sentiments above are doing pretty well for themselves. One of those two got a conflicting message from another parent, so she's sort of learning the hard way. The other one is sailing