Statute of limitations?

[Tina2001aniT]

Originally posted by Chasey_Lane
Remember that when you call your ex a "worthless POS" or "stupid SOB" , you're essentially calling your child the same because they are a part of that person. :shrug:

Soooo not true!! My ex IS a worthless POS and a stupid SOB.....although my daughter does have half of him in her I have tried like he** to have her not have these traits of his and have done a very good job at it. My daughter is a princess. Father is definately a worthless POS and stupid SOB, but, thankfully I was smart enough to raise her on my own and not allow him too, therefore she is fine and basically he sucks!!!

I have always said I will be thankful to him for one thing: My daughter

 

[Elle]

Originally posted by Chasey_Lane
Remember that when you call your ex a "worthless POS" or "stupid SOB" , you're essentially calling your child the same because they are a part of that person. :shrug:

And it says a little something special about you b/c they are YOUR child’s parent too.

 

[christy20657]

Well I agree, they are part of your ex but....the things they inherit from their parents are not usually character traits unless that person is trying to raise the child in the same image and with the same crap they have done and gone through, most of us, even bad parents at time want better for our children. Most of the things that I see in my ss, are looks, the way he talks and things like that but he is nothing like his mother when it comes to morals, character and responsibilty.

I agree, that you should not talk badly about a childs parent in front of them. In the end, that child will only turn on you. However, I also dont think it is good to sit back and smile and act as if it is ok when the parent does something wrong. That only leads the child to believe that this type of behavior is acceptable.

Both of these bio's in my situation are pieces of trash, the crimes they have committed not just against soceity, but against their own children, speak for themselves.

 

[Tina2001aniT]

I have never and will never (because I think it is wrong) said anything about my daughters father in front of her.........

"And it says a little something special about you b/c they are YOUR child’s parent too."---don't really agree with that, have you never dated anyone that you can look back now and say they are an SOB? same thing

My 5 year is just starting to comprehend that he is an SOB, and she is learning it all on her own.....It is the saddest thing I have ever seen, any suggestions on how to deal with a 5 year old that is realizing that her daddy is a pos that doesn't care?

 

[crabcake]

Originally posted by Tina2001aniT
My 5 year is just starting to comprehend that he is an SOB, and she is learning it all on her own.....It is the saddest thing I have ever seen, any suggestions on how to deal with a 5 year old that is realizing that her daddy is a pos that doesn't care?

Yea, just be there for her as much as possible so she knows someone does love her. I am dealing with the same thing at the same age. Thankfully, her soon-to-be stepdaddy is a great guy and fulfills the "fatherly gaps" her bio-dad constantly creates.

 

[Tina2001aniT]

Originally posted by tatercake
Yea, just be there for her as much as possible so she knows someone does love her. I am dealing with the same thing at the same age. Thankfully, her soon-to-be stepdaddy is a great guy and fulfills the "fatherly gaps" her bio-dad constantly creates.

That's excellent I knew this day would come, but was really looking for like 10 or 11 at least.....It's very hard, don't like to see my baby sad....

 

[crabcake]

Originally posted by Tina2001aniT
That's excellent I knew this day would come, but was really looking for like 10 or 11 at least.....It's very hard, don't like to see my baby sad....

I hear ya. I just try to remind her (when she says "I miss my daddy" or "Why doesn't daddy ever call me" or "Why can Daddy call his girlfriend a lot but not me" ) that her daddy loves her and he has a busy job. As she gets older, I think she sees more and more of what exactly her daddy's priorities are, and I don't look like the bad guy for calling him a worthless shot of sperm in front of her.

 

[Tina2001aniT]

Originally posted by tatercake
As she gets older, I think she sees more and more of what exactly her daddy's priorities are, and I don't look like the bad guy for calling him a worthless shot of sperm in front of her.

Yea, I always confirm to her that daddy loves her and is just very busy.....She did tell me that other day that she wasn't stupid and she knows that daddy doesn't work on the weekends, so why couldn't she go see him....that is always his excuse "i have to work" I don't think he has worked even a 40 hour week in his life....I told her that he must either have to work or have something else pressing to do, that was too hard to explain and it was just easier to say that he has to work.......she's not buying it...Don't know what else to say...I guess I will just have to let time run it's course and give her lots o extra lovin in the meantime...

 

[Nickel]

Originally posted by Tina2001aniT
Yea, I always confirm to her that daddy loves her and is just very busy.....She did tell me that other day that she wasn't stupid and she knows that daddy doesn't work on the weekends, so why couldn't she go see him....that is always his excuse "i have to work" I don't think he has worked even a 40 hour week in his life....I told her that he must either have to work or have something else pressing to do, that was too hard to explain and it was just easier to say that he has to work.......she's not buying it...Don't know what else to say...I guess I will just have to let time run it's course and give her lots o extra lovin in the meantime...

This is why I'm sorta glad my son's dad is not around at all. I don't want Josh getting attached to someone who will break his little heart. I would never badmouth him in front of Josh, though, b/c like you both said, he'll figure it out eventually. We broke up when the little one was a month old, and he's only seen his dad maybe 3 or 4 times since, and only because I'm still close with baby-daddy's twin sister. 90% of the time he's spent with Josh was between Christmas and New Years 2003. His brother died and I went to visit his family b/c we were always close. But Josh kinda looked at him like "Who are you and why do I have to be around you?" That's my boy

 

[Tina2001aniT]

I definately think she would be better off if he had just disappeared, too bad he didn't.....now he's around just enough to hurt her.....

 

[Pete]

Kinda makes you wish you had shown better sense before the humpfest eh?

 

[Tina2001aniT]

Originally posted by Pete
Kinda makes you wish you had shown better sense before the humpfest eh?

Honestly, no.....I love my daughter just the way she is, and had I used better sense and not been so STUPID, I would not have her. I love her and would not give her up for the world....

 

[Nickel]

Originally posted by Pete
Kinda makes you wish you had shown better sense before the humpfest eh?

Definitely
Everyone has to learn from their mistakes, though. And by mistake I mean dating the loser, not having the kid, he's a blessing

 

[baswm]

court date next month

He told me he has the court date next month and is dreading it. Mainly worried about the financial burden it will bring. His wife will go with him for support.

From the email he forward me, one lawyer in PA told himcut and pasted snipets.)

in PENNSYLVANIA if a man has been held out to be the father
of this child for the past 12 years, he is legal father regardless of what
DNA results may prove--unless he can demonstrate fraud. So, if the other man
in your case acted as father, and the child knows him as father, domestic
relations will look to him for support as he is legal father. This assumes
the child has no prior relationship with you.
If another man has been called father for 12 years, it will be very difficult for the mother to come after you for anything absent your consent. Once that door is opened, meaning once you consent to anything--even DNA, you face a very different scenerio. Even if this child is biologically yours, he's almost grown & you have had no contact. You can't ever get that back. And, if proven father at this stage, she can do much to prevent you from seeing this kid.

Your attorney said to send a letter denying paternity. That's a start, and the mother may just stop there. By the time she gets the courts to order a DNA, which they shouldn't do, more time will pass.

Generally speaking, the PA court would be interested in what the child has been led to believe. If the child has believed all his life that the other man was his father, has used the other man's last name, called him dad, shared a father-child relationship, etc., then he's the father.

Mother's letter would be admissible evidence, and should be very useful.


Well, he should have appealed the court ordered DNA test but he did take it and hopefully the judge or whoever orders child support amount will look favorably at him and find a fair amount. When I hear the results of his ordeal, I will post it.

 

[christy20657]

Since we are going through the same thing, one thing I have learned, you cant appeal it.

You are given 2 options. A. you take the paternity test or B. you do nothing and you are automatically deemed the father.

Makes no sense to me. I swear its like a woman can point the finger at anyone and even 12 years later they take her word for it and make you go through proving that you are not the father and they think that you should have just stopped life and never gotten married or had children because after all "you may have a child out there" makes no sense.

I guess this is why condoms were invented and why teenage boys and young men should have one permanately crazy glued to their you know whats!