Well, then lets take it a bit at a time.
Logically Christianity is trying to make us beleive
Christianity is trying to make anyone believe anything. It's a belief that you're able to have all on your own. A true Christian cannot be forced to believe, but must believe on their own. First part that Christians don't believe.
that some cosmic Jewish zombie
Do I need to explain that Christians don't see Christ as a cosmic zombie?
can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh
The actions that get someone to Heaven have nothing to do with the rituals. Everlasting life is the belief for everyone (your soul, remember). It's the life you'll have - Heaven, Hell.....
and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master
It's what's in your heart, not a "telepathic" Western Union message
so he can remove an evil force from your soul
Well, the evil force is still there, but you're saying you're going to try and live your life fighting against it, instead of allowing it to run your life
that is present in humanity because a rib woman
A "rib woman"? What's a "rib woman"?
was convinced from a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
The tree and eating was, IMO, a metaphor. Gained the knowledge of good and evil, became self aware, knew they were naked, etc. Became more than the cattle in the field, the dog in your house.
Do you see how it's a collection of inaccuracies, and claiming Christians believe it as written is not even close to true?