The Life of an Addict

[acommondisaster]

My apologies for calling you a dillrod. It is unlike me to call people names. But you are quite wrong about addiction; you do not have a choice to become addicted. There are many people who take painkillers or use drugs recreationally and never have a problem. Or you can be like the addict in my life who took prescribed painkillers for a minor procedure and has struggled with addiction ever since.

There is a physical dependency for some people. Their brain stops producing the brains natural painkiller - endorphins - when they takes painkillers. The brain actually produces more receptors for painkillers when taken and nerve cells in hte brain stop functioning normally. That's what causes their dependency. No one knows what the trigger is, why it doesn't affect all of us in the same way. It doesn't make one of us weaker than the other, anymore than how two people working in the same environment and one gets mesothelioma from the asbestos and one doesn't. I don't believe that the "choice" of just quitting is an option for those who are truly addicted, because it is physical dependency, affecting the strongest organ in our body.

 

[acommondisaster]

I should have added that knowing what causes addiction makes it no less frustrating for those of us who have to watch someone going through it. We waiver between wanting to understand and help and wondering why they can't see what their addiction is doing to themselves and the people who love them. So to an outsider (and a few years ago, I was one), it seems obvious - the addict just needs to quit being selfish and quit. There isn't a person alive who doesn't wish it was that easy. What a lot of people don't realize is that painkillers are not like meth or coke or pot - there is no "high" or buzz. The addict in my life found that once he was dependent, he needed to take the painkillers to feel normal. I think you'll find that's pretty common.

 

[BernieP]

Let me run this theory by you guys and see what you think

Welfare as an addiction,


do you think it fits?

Welfare could be fixed by us, the people. There is a dependency on it. However, the problem is the way the "assistance" works. You do nothing, the gubment will pay, you get a job, and the gubment cuts you off. Doesn't matter what the job pays, you try and aid is cut off, not scaled back, cut off.
No wonder most decided to just keep it flowing.

 

[BernieP]

Or mental illness

Mental illness is hereditary, you get it from your children.
Though one could argue that being forced to live with people who have a profound mental illness does not help your mental health.

 

[FISHTAIL]

I should have added that knowing what causes addiction makes it no less frustrating for those of us who have to watch someone going through it. We waiver between wanting to understand and help and wondering why they can't see what their addiction is doing to themselves and the people who love them. So to an outsider (and a few years ago, I was one), it seems obvious - the addict just needs to quit being selfish and quit. There isn't a person alive who doesn't wish it was that easy. What a lot of people don't realize is that painkillers are not like meth or coke or pot - there is no "high" or buzz. The addict in my life found that once he was dependent, he needed to take the painkillers to feel normal. I think you'll find that's pretty common.

This is true. When I shattered my clavicle in a mountain biking accident a few years ago, I was given percoset to cut back on the pain at night so I could sleep. After 6 weeks (sleeping in a chair..ugh), my bone hadn't healed at all (turns out it never would, it was in to many pieces) and I had surgery. After the surgery, I took the prescription meds for about another week, then switched to Tylenol because my shoulder was feeling better. What happened next is what surprised me..all of a sudden, I couldn't sleep. I was waking up at night with night sweats, lucid nightmares, leg cramps, chills, you name it. As soon as that happened, I did some research and found out they were all symptoms of withdrawal.

I decided to grit my teeth and bear it, so I threw the pills in the trash and dealt with sleepless nights for a couple of weeks until I started feeling normal again. It sucked. It sucked bad. I can see how folks that were taking medication in higher doses than me, or more often (like throughout the day) could have a hard time quitting. I never had the urge to start popping pills to feel better, in fact, for me it was the exact opposite. I swore that crap off forever..when I had another procedure a year or so later and the doctor offered percoset to me, I declined and said I'd rather take large doeses of Tylenol and live with the pain for a while then go through that again.

So while I understand that some folks really have a hard time with addiction, I don't think it's fair to label it a disease. It IS a choice, it might not be one someone is proud of, or one they want to make, but they are still making it. I completely agree that many people in those situations NEED assistance, but they also need to take responsibility. And labeling it a disease eases that requirement. Please don't misunderstand and think that I believe these people should be left to deal with it on their own, but I do believe disease is the wrong word.

 

[FISHTAIL]

My apologies for calling you a dillrod. It is unlike me to call people names. But you are quite wrong about addiction; you do not have a choice to become addicted. There are many people who take painkillers or use drugs recreationally and never have a problem. Or you can be like the addict in my life who took prescribed painkillers for a minor procedure and has struggled with addiction ever since.

There is a physical dependency for some people. Their brain stops producing the brains natural painkiller - endorphins - when they takes painkillers. The brain actually produces more receptors for painkillers when taken and nerve cells in hte brain stop functioning normally. That's what causes their dependency. No one knows what the trigger is, why it doesn't affect all of us in the same way. It doesn't make one of us weaker than the other, anymore than how two people working in the same environment and one gets mesothelioma from the asbestos and one doesn't. I don't believe that the "choice" of just quitting is an option for those who are truly addicted, because it is physical dependency, affecting the strongest organ in our body.

I've read that, and that's probably what happened to me on a very miniscule scale..but I think the reason people label it a choice is because unlike say, cancer, where folks don't get to choose everyday to keep having cancer. You do choose to keep taking whatever it is you are taking, because if you don't, you feel like crap. I have read though, that with some addictions the dependency becomes strong enough that not taking the drug anymore could do you some serious harm. So sure, there are cases where the choice changes, but I guess you could always argue that you can still choose..even if the choice to not continue means to die (a stupid choice of course, but still a choice).

That's why I think these people need help...it would be far to difficult to resist taking whatever level of the drug you need to feel completely normal, when what you need to be doing is taking less and less over some period of time (and I'm sure feeling like total garbage the whole time) until you've weened yourself off. Then getting counseling to make sure you can cope with staying away from it.

So I get both sides of the choice/no choice argument, but I still think disease is the wrong term. Addiction is a good term for the problem, but unfortunately it carries such negative connotations in our society that people probably avoid getting themselves help because they don't want to be labeled an addict. As a societal group, we have the wrong attitude towards those folks..I'm sure there are plenty of people out there that deserve the scorn delivered to people who are labeled addicts, but I'd wager there are just as many, or more, who deserve our sympathy and our help.

 

[vraiblonde]

This is true. When I shattered my clavicle in a mountain biking accident a few years ago, I was given percoset to cut back on the pain at night so I could sleep. After 6 weeks (sleeping in a chair..ugh), my bone hadn't healed at all (turns out it never would, it was in to many pieces) and I had surgery. After the surgery, I took the prescription meds for about another week, then switched to Tylenol because my shoulder was feeling better. What happened next is what surprised me..all of a sudden, I couldn't sleep. I was waking up at night with night sweats, lucid nightmares, leg cramps, chills, you name it. As soon as that happened, I did some research and found out they were all symptoms of withdrawal.

This is why I'm terrified of painkillers and have never taken anything stronger than Tylenol, even after surgery, wisdom teeth extraction, and childbirth. It's just crazy.

 

[MMDad]

This is why I'm terrified of painkillers and have never taken anything stronger than Tylenol, even after surgery, wisdom teeth extraction, and childbirth. It's just crazy.

Why? Remember, addiction is all in your head. Just use the eff out of them then quit.

 

[my-thyme]

This is true. When I shattered my clavicle in a mountain biking accident a few years ago, I was given percoset to cut back on the pain at night so I could sleep. After 6 weeks (sleeping in a chair..ugh), my bone hadn't healed at all (turns out it never would, it was in to many pieces) and I had surgery. After the surgery, I took the prescription meds for about another week, then switched to Tylenol because my shoulder was feeling better. What happened next is what surprised me..all of a sudden, I couldn't sleep. I was waking up at night with night sweats, lucid nightmares, leg cramps, chills, you name it. As soon as that happened, I did some research and found out they were all symptoms of withdrawal.

I decided to grit my teeth and bear it, so I threw the pills in the trash and dealt with sleepless nights for a couple of weeks until I started feeling normal again. It sucked. It sucked bad. I can see how folks that were taking medication in higher doses than me, or more often (like throughout the day) could have a hard time quitting. I never had the urge to start popping pills to feel better, in fact, for me it was the exact opposite. I swore that crap off forever..when I had another procedure a year or so later and the doctor offered percoset to me, I declined and said I'd rather take large doeses of Tylenol and live with the pain for a while then go through that again.

So while I understand that some folks really have a hard time with addiction, I don't think it's fair to label it a disease. It IS a choice, it might not be one someone is proud of, or one they want to make, but they are still making it. I completely agree that many people in those situations NEED assistance, but they also need to take responsibility. And labeling it a disease eases that requirement. Please don't misunderstand and think that I believe these people should be left to deal with it on their own, but I do believe disease is the wrong word.

I've read that, and that's probably what happened to me on a very miniscule scale..but I think the reason people label it a choice is because unlike say, cancer, where folks don't get to choose everyday to keep having cancer. You do choose to keep taking whatever it is you are taking, because if you don't, you feel like crap. I have read though, that with some addictions the dependency becomes strong enough that not taking the drug anymore could do you some serious harm. So sure, there are cases where the choice changes, but I guess you could always argue that you can still choose..even if the choice to not continue means to die (a stupid choice of course, but still a choice).

That's why I think these people need help...it would be far to difficult to resist taking whatever level of the drug you need to feel completely normal, when what you need to be doing is taking less and less over some period of time (and I'm sure feeling like total garbage the whole time) until you've weened yourself off. Then getting counseling to make sure you can cope with staying away from it.

So I get both sides of the choice/no choice argument, but I still think disease is the wrong term. Addiction is a good term for the problem, but unfortunately it carries such negative connotations in our society that people probably avoid getting themselves help because they don't want to be labeled an addict. As a societal group, we have the wrong attitude towards those folks..I'm sure there are plenty of people out there that deserve the scorn delivered to people who are labeled addicts, but I'd wager there are just as many, or more, who deserve our sympathy and our help.

Thank you so much. Hearing from someone who has really been there, especially someone taken completely by surprise by what was happening, throws an incredible light on the entire subject for me.

 

[inkah]

What happened next is what surprised me..all of a sudden, I couldn't sleep. I was waking up at night with night sweats, lucid nightmares, leg cramps, chills, you name it. As soon as that happened, I did some research and found out they were all symptoms of withdrawal.

I decided to grit my teeth and bear it, .

I think this is where we screw up. People get here and panic. They tell themselves "I can't" (sleep, cope, whatever) and they are too ignorant to know that the suffering WILL end. The medical community supports their fears (when my daughter shattered her bones a nurse actually tried to frighten her into taking the percs whether or not there was pain) and family sympathizes (which often turns into enabling).

For my daughter, we'd seen way too much addiction and had a good long talk about meds. She opted for something else and determined to grit her teeth as much as possible from the beginning. We treated the need for such hard core crap as a lie (harsh, but that is what we did). She handled it and managed to avoid getting hooked on anything. Recovery was long and hard and she still has pain. But today she runs, bikes and copes with continuing pain. My friggin hero. And I am SO thankful we knew beforehand.

I don't know you, but you make me proud. I am sure it wasn't easy. Thank you for your CHOICE.

 

[my-thyme]

This is why I'm terrified of painkillers and have never taken anything stronger than Tylenol, even after surgery, wisdom teeth extraction, and childbirth. It's just crazy.

Why? Remember, addiction is all in your head. Just use the eff out of them then quit.

When I had major surgery a few years ago, I took percoset for 3 weeks. When I ran out of the original scrip after 2 weeks, my doc was hesitant to give me more. I only took the second scrip for a week, until my pain was where I felt I could tolerate it. Didn't have any withdrawal at all. Threw the remaining pills away.

 

[inkah]

I have read though, that with some addictions the dependency becomes strong enough that not taking the drug anymore could do you some serious harm. So sure, there are cases where the choice changes, but I guess you could always argue that you can still choose..even if the choice to not continue means to die (a stupid choice of course, but still a choice).

That's why I think these people need help...it would be far to difficult to resist taking whatever level of the drug you need to feel completely normal, when what you need to be doing is taking less and less over some period of time (and I'm sure feeling like total garbage the whole time) until you've weened yourself off. Then getting counseling to make sure you can cope with staying away from it.

So I get both sides of the choice/no choice argument, but I still think disease is the wrong term. Addiction is a good term for the problem, but unfortunately it carries such negative connotations in our society that people probably avoid getting themselves help because they don't want to be labeled an addict. As a societal group, we have the wrong attitude towards those folks..I'm sure there are plenty of people out there that deserve the scorn delivered to people who are labeled addicts, but I'd wager there are just as many, or more, who deserve our sympathy and our help.

I have seen this kind of dependency. With alcohol, believe it or not. Alcohol is the only withdrawal that can actually kill you. For my addict, quitting really was life threatening. I've lived a lifetime in ERs watching heart monitors and tubes. You couldn't go to the ER too soon. And you certainly couldn't go too late. Almost EVERY time, someone would panic and make a sympathetic decision based on fears. And sobriety would pass us in the night.

And even then. The addict just. had. to. get. through. Oh, sure. It was hell. True DTs are horrifying to watch - never mind what it must be to live through it - many times over. And you CAN'T do it alone. I mean, literally, you can't. They kill you. You need the meds to keep your heart from stopping. But you can get through it.

The answer is not to make the choices that get you there in the first place.
And if you do, the answer is to have EXTREMELY BRAVE people in your court (ones who can tell the chicken ####s to #### off if need be).
But once you get help and you are through it, you make choices.

At some point, my addict turned the love people had and getting help into yet another way to manipulate, use, abuse and hurt. At that point, I needed help...

 

[mAlice]

I have seen this kind of dependency. With alcohol, believe it or not. Alcohol is the only withdrawal that can actually kill you. For my addict, quitting really was life threatening. I've lived a lifetime in ERs watching heart monitors and tubes. You couldn't go to the ER too soon. And you certainly couldn't go too late. Almost EVERY time, someone would panic and make a sympathetic decision based on fears. And sobriety would pass us in the night.

And even then. The addict just. had. to. get. through. Oh, sure. It was hell. True DTs are horrifying to watch - never mind what it must be to live through it - many times over. And you CAN'T do it alone. I mean, literally, you can't. They kill you. You need the meds to keep your heart from stopping. But you can get through it.

The answer is not to make the choices that get you there in the first place.
And if you do, the answer is to have EXTREMELY BRAVE people in your court (ones who can tell the chicken ####s to #### off if need be).
But once you get help and you are through it, you make choices.

At some point, my addict turned the love people had and getting help into yet another way to manipulate, use, abuse and hurt. At that point, I needed help...

I know someone who died from alcohol withdrawal. We weren't friends, more like a 'friend of a friend', but I had met her. Young and beautiful, and sadly, made poor choices in her very short life.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

This is why I'm terrified of painkillers and have never taken anything stronger than Tylenol, even after surgery, wisdom teeth extraction, and childbirth. It's just crazy.

I always ask for something that is non-narcotic. You get the same effect without feeling high AND it is non-habit forming.

 

[bilbur]

When I had major surgery a few years ago, I took percoset for 3 weeks. When I ran out of the original scrip after 2 weeks, my doc was hesitant to give me more. I only took the second scrip for a week, until my pain was where I felt I could tolerate it. Didn't have any withdrawal at all. Threw the remaining pills away.

I had 2 major surgeries 4 years ago and I was on high doses of pain killers for a long time. When I felt like I could reduce the amount I went through withdrawals so I stopped taking them all together for a couple of weeks. It sucked, it felt like the flu times 10 and the worst part was you can't sleep through it because you can't sleep. On top of all this I still had a lot of pain but I was determined to get myself clean so I could use a lower dose to control my pain. After the 2 weeks I went to pain management and have been with them for the past 3 years. Against my doctors wishes I will quit my meds 2 or 3 times a year for a week just to prove to myself that if they ever find a way to cure my pain I can stop taking them all together. The amount of pain I have when I am off my medication makes it so I can't hardly do anything for that time period but it makes me feel better knowing I can put them down at any time and not look back. This is why addicts that use for recreational purposes make me so mad. I wish every day I didn't need to pop pills to reduce pain enough so I can function and these people take them for fun. Withdrawals suck but not as bad as the feeling I would have if I abused my pills or turned to illegal drugs. The feeling that I let my parents, family, and friends down mould be much more unbearable.

 

[FISHTAIL]

This is why I'm terrified of painkillers and have never taken anything stronger than Tylenol, even after surgery, wisdom teeth extraction, and childbirth. It's just crazy.

Yeah, I do now as well, no desire to deal with that again.

Thank you so much. Hearing from someone who has really been there, especially someone taken completely by surprise by what was happening, throws an incredible light on the entire subject for me.

No problem, it sure surprised me. I was taking the pain killers at night, because if I even moved towards that shoulder when I was sleeping the bone movement was crazy painful. So they really did help me sleep, I just had no idea I'd become dependent on them until I quit taking them. Before the surgery, my shoulder hurt all the time, but it was the worst at night (hence why I had the meds for sleeping) and after the surgery, the pain quickly subsided, which is why I decided to quit taking the meds. I didn't even know what my problem was at first, until I looked it up.

I think this is where we screw up. People get here and panic. They tell themselves "I can't" (sleep, cope, whatever) and they are too ignorant to know that the suffering WILL end. The medical community supports their fears (when my daughter shattered her bones a nurse actually tried to frighten her into taking the percs whether or not there was pain) and family sympathizes (which often turns into enabling).

For my daughter, we'd seen way too much addiction and had a good long talk about meds. She opted for something else and determined to grit her teeth as much as possible from the beginning. We treated the need for such hard core crap as a lie (harsh, but that is what we did). She handled it and managed to avoid getting hooked on anything. Recovery was long and hard and she still has pain. But today she runs, bikes and copes with continuing pain. My friggin hero. And I am SO thankful we knew beforehand.

I don't know you, but you make me proud. I am sure it wasn't easy. Thank you for your CHOICE.

It wasn't easy, but not because I wanted to start taking the medication again. I NEVER had that urge. It only wasn't easy because I couldn't get any sleep and I felt like crap. When I later got a kidney stone, I opted to deal with that pain rather than risk the narcotic again. I doubt I would have become dependent on it again for the short time I was dealing with the stone, but for me, it wasn't even worth the risk. Thankfully, I was never an addict, but I had generated a dependency for that drug. After that experience, I had a whole new respect for folks that struggle with addiction..not because I was craving more pain killers (The exact opposite in my case) but because I totally understood why people would want to avoid those issues. Especially if they were more intense, which I'm sure is the case for many.

I have seen this kind of dependency. With alcohol, believe it or not. Alcohol is the only withdrawal that can actually kill you. For my addict, quitting really was life threatening. I've lived a lifetime in ERs watching heart monitors and tubes. You couldn't go to the ER too soon. And you certainly couldn't go too late. Almost EVERY time, someone would panic and make a sympathetic decision based on fears. And sobriety would pass us in the night.

And even then. The addict just. had. to. get. through. Oh, sure. It was hell. True DTs are horrifying to watch - never mind what it must be to live through it - many times over. And you CAN'T do it alone. I mean, literally, you can't. They kill you. You need the meds to keep your heart from stopping. But you can get through it.

The answer is not to make the choices that get you there in the first place.
And if you do, the answer is to have EXTREMELY BRAVE people in your court (ones who can tell the chicken ####s to #### off if need be).
But once you get help and you are through it, you make choices.

At some point, my addict turned the love people had and getting help into yet another way to manipulate, use, abuse and hurt. At that point, I needed help...

Yeah, I thought I'd read that alcoholics can die if they stop drinking suddenly, but I wasn't sure if I'd read that or made it up, so I didn't reference it in my earlier post. I've known people that have struggled with alcoholism, and it's not easy on anyone. I'm sure the same can be said for any kind of addiction..drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc..I imagine they are all equally crippling for both the addict and the family involved. I know it's easy to be judgmental of folks who struggle with addiction (I know I have been guilty) but I try not to be. When I feel myself heading down that path of judging someone, I remember what it was like to not sleep for a few weeks and imagine what they must have to deal with.

I definitely don't deserve to be anyone's hero though. I'm sure lots of regular folks get on pain meds after surgery, stop taking them when they feel better, then go through what I did. They probably don't even realize what's happening, but just assume it's the result of stress, being sick, or whatever else. I just happened to correlate the two and do a little light reading to try and figure out what the deal was. I knew it'd pass eventually, AND I felt like a pud for letting it happen in the first place.

 

[my-thyme]

Any ala-non meeting in the SoMD area?

 

[BadGirl]

Any ala-non meeting in the SoMD area?

I love you, and hope you and your loved one finds peace soon.

 

[my-thyme]

Thanks.

I'm slowly going crazy here, gotta try something.

 

[vraiblonde]

Thanks.

I'm slowly going crazy here, gotta try something.

Call 1-800-4ALANON and they'll give you a list of current meetings.