The Little Things...Do ya get mad or not?
- Thread starter sgtsprout
- Start date
Pick Your Battles
and don't sweat the small stuff is what I have learned.
My husband and I just celebrated our 7 year anniversary on Monday and hardly ever fight. But bicker we do on occasion! He does all sorts of things that tick me off, as I do to him. But as long it isn't hurting us or our daughter, then I don't let it bug me anymore like it used to.
He's actually taking me on a "date" Friday night. Out to dinner then on to the Tiki Bar - Yee HAW!!! Then who knows...
and don't sweat the small stuff is what I have learned.
My husband and I just celebrated our 7 year anniversary on Monday and hardly ever fight. But bicker we do on occasion! He does all sorts of things that tick me off, as I do to him. But as long it isn't hurting us or our daughter, then I don't let it bug me anymore like it used to.
He's actually taking me on a "date" Friday night. Out to dinner then on to the Tiki Bar - Yee HAW!!! Then who knows...
We threw out the "don't go to bed angry" rule a long time ago. Sometimes you just need to sleep it off. Also once it gets to be about 3am or so, everyone's punchy and now not only will NOTHING be resolved, but you think of all kinds of NEW things to fight about, too.
Breakups are a GOOD thing. Think of it this way: if I hadn't gotten divorced from my first husband, then broken up with many subsequent beaus, then broken off an engagement 2 weeks before the wedding, I wouldn't be married to my husband now. And we're pretty happy so I think of breakups as an opportunity to ditch the person who's not right for you so that you can go find the person who IS!
So congrats on your breakup, Joey! Now you're free to go find your soul mate!
So congrats on your breakup, Joey! Now you're free to go find your soul mate!
I just mean that they suck in terms of the pain. It hurts, you know? And, just out of curiosity, why would you even get engaged if you could even consider breaking it off two weeks before the wedding.
I've agreed with most everything you've said in here to this point, but I'm baffled at that! Your comment about breakups being the opportunity to ditch the person who's not right for you sounds pretty cold, you know what I mean?
pixiegirl
Cleopatra Jones
I was questioning whether or not to put my two sence in here but what the hell. There is no need for drama in a relationship. IMO it doens't make things exciting or keep people on their toes it makes things suck! I don't bother wasting my energy getting bent outa shape over insignificant things at all. If something bothers me I'll let you know it bothers me in a very calm and polite way. When I do get really angry then you know you REALLY messed up. From my personal experience being like this is much more effective then blowing up all the time. If someone constantly crawls under your skin or does things that get on your nerves then you probably shouldn't be with that person because it will probably never change. And just because you're upset at someone doesn't give you the right to "go off" either. Mutual respect.
As for the break-ups I also have to agree w/ Vari. Though they may hurt sometimes it's a healthy part of life. How many kids marry right out of high school and end up divorced 5 years later. Why? Because they didn't live and one day they realized there is a whole other world out there. Yes it does hurt sometimes, sometimes it hurts a lot but you turn it into a leason about yourself and about life. If you break-up with someone or someone breaks-up with you apparently it wasn't meant to be in the first place. Use the experience to your advantage. When you find the person that's "right" for you there won't be a break-up.
As for the break-ups I also have to agree w/ Vari. Though they may hurt sometimes it's a healthy part of life. How many kids marry right out of high school and end up divorced 5 years later. Why? Because they didn't live and one day they realized there is a whole other world out there. Yes it does hurt sometimes, sometimes it hurts a lot but you turn it into a leason about yourself and about life. If you break-up with someone or someone breaks-up with you apparently it wasn't meant to be in the first place. Use the experience to your advantage. When you find the person that's "right" for you there won't be a break-up.
cattitude
My Sweetest Boy
Good Grief!
I hope I don't come across as a b#tch. BUT...
get over it! As a 20 year veteran, I can tell you we've had our share of "you get out" arguments but no underwear??? Your arguments sound really petty. I attribute that to youth or a new relationship. If I've learned anything, I've learned you need to let things go...don't sweat the small stuff is a cliche, but a good one. If I'd let the small stuff really bother me (or vice versa for him), I'd have missed out on the really good relationship I have now. You have to look ahead, ask yourself is this who you really want and will what you are arguing about matter a hill of sh#t in 20 years..if the answer is no, then forget about it. It's not always easy and I'm not sure I'd have listened years ago but somehow we persevered and I thank my lucky stars. Just sharing some of the wisdom I've gained over the years......
I hope I don't come across as a b#tch. BUT...
get over it! As a 20 year veteran, I can tell you we've had our share of "you get out" arguments but no underwear??? Your arguments sound really petty. I attribute that to youth or a new relationship. If I've learned anything, I've learned you need to let things go...don't sweat the small stuff is a cliche, but a good one. If I'd let the small stuff really bother me (or vice versa for him), I'd have missed out on the really good relationship I have now. You have to look ahead, ask yourself is this who you really want and will what you are arguing about matter a hill of sh#t in 20 years..if the answer is no, then forget about it. It's not always easy and I'm not sure I'd have listened years ago but somehow we persevered and I thank my lucky stars. Just sharing some of the wisdom I've gained over the years......
Because the closer it got to the wedding, the more I realized that we weren't right for each other. So rather than go ahead with the marriage and divorce him later, I decided it was better to cancel the wedding.
As opposed to the warmth of being with a person you're not happy with?
It's all about perspective - my former fiancee found the woman who's right for him not long after we broke it off. So I could assuage my guilt by saying that if it weren't for me ditching him, he'd have never found his wife, who he's very happy with. Same with my ex-husband - he's a lot happier with his wife now than WE ever were. Perspective...one door closes, another one opens.
Pixie!
FIREMAN
New Member
Then the drama never ends after the break-up, ITS ONLY THE BEGINNING. The phone calls in the middle of the night, the letter and the most famous one of all. I'm pregant and it's yours. So you head on back to fix the relationship and it turns out there is no kid. That has happen twice already. Nothing like having your heart ripped and thrown in a doggy bag to go.
So I say "Save the drama for your mama"
So I say "Save the drama for your mama"
Cattitude! 
sgtsprout
Mr. Shud da hell up
Okay
So I realizxe i sweat stupid stuff sometimes. part of the drama in relationships. The point about forgetting stuff "the panties" for the girls was an example. I realize that is stupid.My mistake was trying to remember all the times she screews up. And yet I forget how many times I screw the pooch.
I think a couple ppl's advice in here is right on. No sweating the small stuff. Otherwise I think I'll end up with a heart attack before I turn 30.
And the breakup thing--well they are a good thign after the fact. The process of breaking up sucks. But Same with me if I didn't break up with the last psycho lol, I wouldn't be with my love now.
I realize she is too good to me and she should be here in a few hours too....<--little school boy glee here lol
<--stupid fool of a younging lol
So I realizxe i sweat stupid stuff sometimes. part of the drama in relationships. The point about forgetting stuff "the panties" for the girls was an example. I realize that is stupid.My mistake was trying to remember all the times she screews up. And yet I forget how many times I screw the pooch.
I think a couple ppl's advice in here is right on. No sweating the small stuff. Otherwise I think I'll end up with a heart attack before I turn 30.
And the breakup thing--well they are a good thign after the fact. The process of breaking up sucks. But Same with me if I didn't break up with the last psycho lol, I wouldn't be with my love now.
I realize she is too good to me and she should be here in a few hours too....<--little school boy glee here lol
<--stupid fool of a younging lol
