The long-distance relationship.

[Beelzebaby666]

OK.....my feelings on the topic are pretty much what some of you have already said.

Long distance is hard but sometimes what is harder is being together after the LDR is over. Like Dream said it is the every day antics that are hard. Being in the same town where you can be together all the time....or even living together for that matter, let you know who the real person is and whether or not it is meant to be. If you know the LDR will be over in x amoutn of months it is more doable but it is still not easy. Intimacy of all levels is part of every stong relationship and you dont get all of those levels when you are far away.

Anyway, I hope it works out for you, but if you are feeling smothered thats not good. On that same note devoting 100% attention to you isnt all that great either. Guys need their guys, their friends, just as much as girls need their girls. I think it would drive me nuts if someone wanted to spend 100% of their time with me since I like to spend time either out w my girls or even out with friends as a couple.

Ok just my thoughts.....although I am currently single, so take it for what it is worth.

I get what you are saying.. I have a history of getting way too involved with a guy, then getting bored before I really know who he is. Also, when things are so heated in the beginning, after the cooling off period begins, guys don't like it when I start to do my own thing.

On a weird note.. I ran in to a girl I know who's mom had gone out on a poker run with my guy when we were on the outs. I knew about it and could have cared less, had the mother not been so indignant about it today. So I asked him tonight what he did that made her hate him so much.. He sounded confused and I laughed. This is why I'm cool with the arrangement, the drama around here is too much and I'm getting to old to throw down over a man.

 

[moviegirl1980]

I'm getting to old to throw down over a man.

I have just learned to live and life will happen. Luckily a few people have shown me that there are great guys in this world and hopefully I can find one not too far away. But I'm gonna stop looking and let him find me. But if anyone sees him wandering around lost please point him in the right direction....thanks!

 

[Beelzebaby666]

OK this sucks... He's had his head elsewhere since his brother in law called him to visit, for possibly the last time...

He didn't talk to me for a week, then today, he says that his BIL passed away early this morning and he's on his way to Ohio.

But something else is wrong with him, and he's not talking...He says he's busy, I think he's depressed. He says he's ok, but ok isn't "good".

I'm worried about him, but my feelings are kind of hurt that he's shut me out all of a sudden

 

[GWguy]

OK this sucks... He's had his head elsewhere since his brother in law called him to visit, for possibly the last time...

He didn't talk to me for a week, then today, he says that his BIL passed away early this morning and he's on his way to Ohio.

But something else is wrong with him, and he's not talking...He says he's busy, I think he's depressed. He says he's ok, but ok isn't "good".

I'm worried about him, but my feelings are kind of hurt that he's shut me out all of a sudden

Turning people away and shutting them out are symptoms of depression. Just let him know you are there for him.

 

[Beelzebaby666]

My mom and I have talked about him a lot and she's amazed he's not a drunk from all the weight on his shoulders. He's got a ton to deal with and he's been kind of going at it alone until we got together. He says I'm the first person he's really talked to in years.

My fears for this realtionship are highlighted by the distance between us physically. Without him talking, it makes it worse.

 

[GWguy]

My fears for this realtionship are highlighted by the distance between us physically. Without him talking, it makes it worse.

I do understand that. I have a long distance relationship with someone very close, someone I care about, and more than once we've gotten bad vibs from each other because there is no inflection or feeling in emails.

Would a road trip be possible now ? See him face-to-face to help put some of your fears to rest ?

 

[Beelzebaby666]

I do understand that. I have a long distance relationship with someone very close, someone I care about, and more than once we've gotten bad vibs from each other because there is no inflection or feeling in emails.

Would a road trip be possible now ? See him face-to-face to help put some of your fears to rest ?

I was out there a few weeks ago and his company is moving him to PA in two weeks. The plan was to wait for a visit until he was in PA, which is much closer. I'm not the type that nags or pushes so I won't press him. He knows I'm there for him and if he needs space, I"ll give it. I"ll deal with my fears on my own because he doesn't need more drama. Even if it makes me crazy.:shrug:

Honestly, if he's avoiding me for a reason I don't know about, I guess the relationship is doomed anyway. I'm genuinely worried about him because he's got so much on his shoulders, and being apart from him doesn't help me help him at all.

 

[Tigerlily]

I was out there a few weeks ago and his company is moving him to PA in two weeks. The plan was to wait for a visit until he was in PA, which is much closer. I'm not the type that nags or pushes so I won't press him. He knows I'm there for him and if he needs space, I"ll give it. I"ll deal with my fears on my own because he doesn't need more drama. Even if it makes me crazy.:shrug:

Honestly, if he's avoiding me for a reason I don't know about, I guess the relationship is doomed anyway. I'm genuinely worried about him because he's got so much on his shoulders, and being apart from him doesn't help me help him at all.

Good gawd woman, please do not make excuses for him I can pretty much bet that on any given day you have dealt with more crap than he could dream of. Being supportive and understanding is fine. Though if he chooses to shut you out that is on him and that is not acceptable in the big picture as far as you and he coming together in all ways one day. I wish you the best but please do not settle or try to understand the actions of others. You are worth way more than that.

 

[Beelzebaby666]

Good gawd woman, please do not make excuses for him I can pretty much bet that on any given day you have dealt with more crap than he could dream of. Being supportive and understanding is fine. Though if he chooses to shut you out that is on him and that is not acceptable in the big picture as far as you and he coming together in all ways one day. I wish you the best but please do not settle or try to understand the actions of others. You are worth way more than that.

Yeah, don't sell myself short.. I know, but he really is something else. If you met him, you'd be like DAYUM!! I'm not going to make excuses, I have stuff to do as well, and I'm not chasing after him or nothin'.

Plus....

Once I quit drinking, the guys around here started to look funny

 

[Tigerlily]

Yeah, don't sell myself short.. I know, but he really is something else. If you met him, you'd be like DAYUM!! I'm not going to make excuses, I have stuff to do as well, and I'm not chasing after him or nothin'.

Plus....

Once I quit drinking, the guys around here started to look funny

Well now you know why single women around here drink

Just don't be caught in how hot he, is that you overlook yourself and most importantly your needs in this relationship. Because right now he is not treating you as awesome as you think and treat him.

 

[toppick08]

Yeah, don't sell myself short.. I know, but he really is something else. If you met him, you'd be like DAYUM!! I'm not going to make excuses, I have stuff to do as well, and I'm not chasing after him or nothin'.

Plus....

Once I quit drinking, the guys around here started to look funny

 

[frozenrain]

[/B]

No need to get upset the amount of ladies on the forums who have said you areare into at least doubles...

 

[SoMDGirl42]

Long distance relationships work for some. Since the divorce, my ex now lives in Jacksonville, Fl. That's far enough away for me

 

[SoMDGirl42]

I was out there a few weeks ago and his company is moving him to PA in two weeks. The plan was to wait for a visit until he was in PA, which is much closer. I'm not the type that nags or pushes so I won't press him. He knows I'm there for him and if he needs space, I"ll give it. I"ll deal with my fears on my own because he doesn't need more drama. Even if it makes me crazy.:shrug:

Honestly, if he's avoiding me for a reason I don't know about, I guess the relationship is doomed anyway. I'm genuinely worried about him because he's got so much on his shoulders, and being apart from him doesn't help me help him at all.

I hope it works for you. Be there for him if/when he's ready.

 

[MysticalMom]

Honestly. I think it's time to let K go and move on. You aren't getting what you need from him. He doesn't call for a week or more, even though he knows it makes you crazy when he doesn't. He's far from stupid and it only takes a minute out of his day, stressed or not, for him to call and tell you he loves you and everything is ok. Leaving you hanging like he does just makes you sad and pisses me off.

He's a great guy BB and I know you love him. But you need and deserve alot more than you're getting from this relationship and I don't think he's good for you anymore.

 

[Beelzebaby666]

Hmm... I think you're right...



That's why I washed my ass and I'm gonna go have drinks with Bucky and Kathy(and YOU!) for once in a great while...

Country store

 

[frozenrain]

Hmm... I think you're right...



That's why I washed my ass and I'm gonna go have drinks with Bucky and Kathy(and YOU!) for once in a great while...

Country store

 

[puggymom]

Me!

I'm the moron who tried to work a relationship from the US to Australia.

I had a relationship from the US to China for almost a year and it worked....he is now my hubby!

We dated while he was a senior in college (in NY) and I a junior at UMD. After graduating his job out of college sent him to China. So my senior year of college we had a super long distance relationship.
Upon my graduating I decided to move to China with him until his assignment there was finished. Things worked out great and we got married 2 years later.

 

[backagain39]

I am a strong believer in *if it's meant to be then it will happen* and *everything happens for a reason*

Take a deep breath, step back and relax. Stop analyzing the situation and just take it as it comes.......and good luck!

 

[RaspberryBeret]

Mail him a card and let him know you're thinking of him. Sometimes those "out of the blue" momentos put a big smile on your face and remind you that someone really does care.
If you don't get a response after that, it might be time to start reevaluating your relationship. Good luck