The only son (or daughter)...

[Dymphna]

That's exactly why I started it. That, and I watched a Forensic Files last night where the sister was talking about how her brother was murdered and it was her mother's "only son."

That statement was either because "Mom loved him more than me. " or else, "Our family's tragedy is bigger than yours. "

 

[CalvertNewbie]

I've wondered about people who purposedly "try" for one or the other. What happens if they don't get what they want? Keep trying until they do???

For some, yes. Haven't you ever seen a family that has, say, 5 girls and then the youngest is a boy? And that's it? No more kids? God bless 'em. I wouldn't "keep trying" but some do.

My parents even said that if their second child had been another girl, they would have tried one more time for a boy. I guess, luckily for them, my little brother was born 3 years after me and that was it for them. As far as I'm concerned when the time comes for hubby & I, I don't care if we have a boy or a girl.

 

[CalvertNewbie]

I think he was more surprised that his dad would say that.

I know, that's what I meant. Poor guy! He must laugh when you do things to get under your MIL's skin. I'm pretty lucky with my inlaws but my MIL has her moments - she doesn't always think before she speaks and I get annoyed at times. But all in all, I know it could be a lot worse.

 

[Dymphna]

For some, yes. Haven't you ever seen a family that has, say, 5 girls and then the youngest is a boy? And that's it? No more kids? God bless 'em. I wouldn't "keep trying" but some do.

My parents even said that if their second child had been another girl, they would have tried one more time for a boy. I guess, luckily for them, my little brother was born 3 years after me and that was it for them. As far as I'm concerned when the time comes for hubby & I, I don't care if we have a boy or a girl.

I have two boys, then a girl. When she was born, I can't tell you how many people, even total strangers, would say, "So, you got your girl. I guess you're done."

My SIL had 3 boys. When she found out the third was a boy, she said, "Thank goodness. I wouldn't know what to do with a girl."

 

[RareBreed]

I have two boys, then a girl. When she was born, I can't tell you how many people, even total strangers, would say, "So, you got your girl. I guess you're done."

My SIL had 3 boys. When she found out the third was a boy, she said, "Thank goodness. I wouldn't know what to do with a girl."

I have two boys and I am asked all the time if we're going to try again for a girl. Like your SIL, I am quite happy with my boys.

 

[Larry Gude]

You must...

Ok, we've all heard it. Someone loses a son (or daughter) and you hear, "he was her only son." So, would it be better if there were 2 boys? Oh, don't worry, she has a spare. Why do they say that? It's awful to lose a child, and it's not any easier if you have another child of the same sex. I just think it sounds stupid.

...not have any kids???

Talk to older people who've seen it all and they say, with near unanimity, the worst thing that can happen in life is for a child to go before you do.

I can gauran damn tee you, that with 2 of my own and two step kids who've been a part of my life for over 10 years, losing any one of them would be traumatic BUT, having the other three is an instant comfort just thinking it through. The mere thought of only having one child and losing them makes my stomach turn.

 

[Cowgirl]

...not have any kids???

Talk to older people who've seen it all and they say, with near unanimity, the worst thing that can happen in life is for a child to go before you do.

I can gauran damn tee you, that with 2 of my own and two step kids who've been a part of my life for over 10 years, losing any one of them would be traumatic BUT, having the other three is an instant comfort just thinking it through. The mere thought of only having one child and losing them makes my stomach turn.

You didn't understand my post. I'm talking about when Joe Blow has 2 girls and 1 boy, and the boy passes away. Why say, "Oh, it was his only son." Like if he had another son it wouldn't be so bad?

I'm not talking about only children. I'm talking about one one gender.

 

[aps45819]

Why say, "Oh, it was his only son." Like if he had another son it wouldn't be so bad?

I'm not talking about only children. I'm talking about one one gender.

Saving Pvt. Ryan is about the last son. That rule is still in effect.

 

[Cowgirl]

Saving Pvt. Ryan is about the last son. That rule is still in effect.

I didn't see that. What rule?

 

[Dymphna]

I didn't see that. What rule?

There's something called the Sullivan Law that prohibits the military from putting multiple members of the same family into battle zones at the same time.

It came about during WW2, I think, when 5 brothers named Sullivan were on the same Navy ship that sank. I saw a movie about it that showed one of the brothers was injured and in the sick bay and when the order came to abandon ship, the other 4 brothers went to get him and none of them survived.

 

[Dymphna]

Waterloo's Five Sullivan Brothers - Waterloo Public Library

Ok, so it's NOT a law, but a generally accepted policy of something the military avoids...

My two uncles were in the service during Vietnam, one was in Taiwan, which was for some reason considered a "battle zone" and the other was shipped off to Germany to keep him away from battle. Grandma said it had to do with the "Sullivan Law," but looks like it may have just been a request someone made. :shrug:

 

[Cowgirl]

There's something called the Sullivan Law that prohibits the military from putting multiple members of the same family into battle zones at the same time.

It came about during WW2, I think, when 5 brothers named Sullivan were on the same Navy ship that sank. I saw a movie about it that showed one of the brothers was injured and in the sick bay and when the order came to abandon ship, the other 4 brothers went to get him and none of them survived.

Oh, I've heard of that. Thanks!

 

[Larry Gude]

Again...

You didn't understand my post. I'm talking about when Joe Blow has 2 girls and 1 boy, and the boy passes away. Why say, "Oh, it was his only son." Like if he had another son it wouldn't be so bad?

I'm not talking about only children. I'm talking about one one gender.

...do you have any children?

 

[Cowgirl]

...do you have any children?

I don't see how it matters if I have children.

Is it supposed to make me feel better to lose a son if I have another son still left? NO! If I lose a daughter, will I not be sad because I have another daughter left at home? NO! It's horrible either way, so I don't know why people put the emphasis on "Oh, it was her only son." Who gives a flying #### if she has another son at home or not?!

I can understand it being WORSE (maybe) to lose an only child, but I'm talking about losing 1 child, not all.

Again, do you understand?

 

[Pandora]

Cowgirl,

I am a bit surprised you take offense to this. I can see where Larry is coming from here. Had you lost your ONLY child, you wouldn't be able to find comfort in knowing you need to get up and breathe air in and out everyday for the other children you have.

 

[Cowgirl]

Cowgirl,

I am a bit surprised you take offense to this. I can see where Larry is coming from here. Had you lost your ONLY child, you wouldn't be able to find comfort in knowing you need to get up and breathe air in and out everyday for the other children you have.

I'm not talking about only children.

 

[StrawberryGal]

I have two boys and I am asked all the time if we're going to try again for a girl. Like your SIL, I am quite happy with my boys.

I'm going through this right now. I have two boys and people are asking me "Are you going to try for a girl?" or "Are you done having anymore kids?" My answer have been "Whatever God wants for us."

 

[Larry Gude]

Look...

I don't see how it matters if I have children.

Is it supposed to make me feel better to lose a son if I have another son still left? NO! If I lose a daughter, will I not be sad because I have another daughter left at home? NO! It's horrible either way, so I don't know why people put the emphasis on "Oh, it was her only son." Who gives a flying #### if she has another son at home or not?!

I can understand it being WORSE (maybe) to lose an only child, but I'm talking about losing 1 child, not all.

Again, do you understand?

...based on your response, I would venture that you do not have children. This is neither here nor there, good or bad. I just think people who have kid(s) would view it different than what I am reading you to say.

Anyone I know with 2 or more spawn, had I head they'd lost one, I would instantly say "At least they still have the other one." Even if I didn't say it, it would be my first thought.

So, got any children?

 

[Cowgirl]

...based on your response, I would venture that you do not have children. This is neither here nor there, good or bad. I just think people who have kid(s) would view it different than what I am reading you to say.

Anyone I know with 2 or more spawn, had I head they'd lost one, I would instantly say "At least they still have the other one." Even if I didn't say it, it would be my first thought.

So, got any children?

I'm raising my BF's children with him. Technically they're not mine, but they may as well be.

Larry, I still don't think you're actually getting what I'm saying. I'm NOT talking about losing an only child.

Lets say you have two daughters and a son. If you lose your son, people would say, "OH, he lost his only son." Get it? Like losing your son wouldn't be as bad if you had a "spare" son at home. Get it?

Please, please tell me you get it. Please.

 

[puggymom]

I have a friend who has a boy and a girl and when she got pregnant (planned) with #3 someone actually asked her why they would ruin their 'perfect' family.