I still have mine if some person ever decides she wants it.
Weddings bring out the worst in people
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kwillia
n/a
That wasYou forgotand
surprise birthday party! beepbeepcrash
kwillia
n/a
That is because you are a good person and respect the union that made her.
Unlike those other heathens.That is because you are a good person and respect the union that made her.
we had one super young couple (clearly new to the wedding and RSVP game) tell my husband they'd have to wait until the week of to RSVP as she might have to work () and my husband not understanding how seating and favors work, said sure! No big deal! (
I can totally relate!
My Ex was from Montana. When we were planning the guest list and invitations, etc., I asked him about how many he thought for the friends and relatives from his home town. He replied that he only needed ONE. I was completely confused, but he went on to explain that they just put one on the community bulletin board in his neighborhood.
I asked him how they were able to plan an event not knowing how many people were coming! The organized, do-all-this-by-the-book planner in me almost had a panic attack when I thought about that nightmare. 
acommondisaster
Active Member
Okay - I admit it - I don't have a daughter who'll be getting married (and I always dreamed about a daughter's wedding) and our daughter-in-law to be lived with us for 4 years before they got married -( long story, but a nice one) - so dag nab it, I hijacked that wedding and made it everything WE wanted. My son wanted to run off to some beach and get married, my DIL wanted her family there - some coming from as far away as Washington state and Colombia,SA. He wanted no reception, no dancing, yadda yadda. I told him get outta the way, he didn't have to dance but there were going to be flowers, cake, photos, a dj and family, and we were paying for it. No way we were having family fly in from South America for 5 minutes on the beach and nothing else. (and they were definitely coming - her being an only daughter)A lot of times couples elope because of all the drama involved in planning these events. They want to avoid all of that and can't figure out a way to handle it directly.
Some of the reasons weddings (can) bring out the worst in people, is because priorities are all screwed up anymore. Parents need to just back off and let the betrothed couple make the decisions about the wedding. It's not the parents of the bride, nor the parents of the grooms' wedding. If you hold them hostage because you are paying for the wedding, then YOU have psychological issues. Sheesh. Set a dollar amount, give it to them and let them decide what they want to do. Or not -but stop trying to make it all about you.
I am not concerned with whether my younger son gets married or not, NOR whether he has children - or not. It's not my choice. It's not my life. My life's worth is not tied up in whether he gets married and produces offspring so I can be a grandmother. Or not.
My DIL had everything she wanted, I filled in where she wasn't focused. My son did a 180 on the wedding day, danced his butt off and thanked us for seeing through his stubbornness. I have to admit, I listened to my DIL - what she wanted, which was modest, she got. I knew my boundaries (and I pushed 'em). My son got on board and two weeks before the wedding started asking if he could invite some friends. Luckily, we had a very understanding venue (and they hadn't ordered the food yet - we did plated) so we added them without a problem.
As far as kids go - that's up to them. I'm just happy to see them happy and succeeding.
But see, you weren't really meddling - your DIL welcomed your input! She got your son onboard with it, so all was well. Besides, you weren't mental about it.
acommondisaster
Active Member
Well....I sweetened it up a bit - we did have our moments.But see, you weren't really meddling - your DIL welcomed your input! She got your son onboard with it, so all was well. Besides, you weren't mental about it.
littlelady
God bless the USA
I had a ton of supportive people but they all live far away and wedding planning was still stressful. I have no sisters, my friends weren't the planning type, my mom lives far away, my husband, while helpful, only had an opinion about food and beer...it was all on me. And I will shout it from the rooftops: I only had a big wedding for my family (for myself too) but if it wasn't for my incredibly generous parents we wouldn't have been able to afford even 20% of the cost of it. I will forever be grateful to them, but they offered and I could never expect that of them again. It was one of the best days of our lives, but it was a lot of money.
Also, it's 2019: eloping no longer means you're running away because your parents don't approve. The majority of today's elopers ARE trying to save money. My parents loved throwing me a huge wedding, but had I said no thanks we'd rather go to Jamaica, they would've been all about that too because they know this is ultimately my life and their self-worth doesn't revolve around their only daughter's walk down the aisle and inevitable birthing of THEIR grandbabies.
I don't think it's fair to assume, just because the planning process brought on a couple complaints, that I'm living a horribly unhappy life. I'm allowed to have a few gripes, but still thoroughly enjoy the end product. Your assumptions are way off base and very condescending. I really wish I could see the world as black and white as you do. I haven't even been married a year. We couldn't be any happier but I don't need to prove that to you. Stop being such a nitwit in every single thread.
I'll say, we liked the kids table idea, but so many of our friends WANT and NEED a night away from the kiddos, plus if we invited them it would've doubled our guest countit was easier to say no kids except those in the wedding, and two familes with younger ones traveling far. Personal choice
I accomodated for them though and gave them all a clipboard with coloring pages and crayons.
Condescending being the key word. It’s ok. Happy marriage.
littlelady
God bless the USA
My second marriage was in a court house, also. That is not eloping. Eloping is when no one knows you got married. My parents spent a ton on my first marriage. Never again. My children were our witnesses. Dot was 14 and son was 11. My second marriage was one of the best things that ever happened in my life. I got the best end of that deal. I, always, love to hear from you. Take care.
Little black dress?My second marriage was in a court house, also. That is not eloping. Eloping is when no one knows you got married. My parents spent a ton on my first marriage. Never again. My children were our witnesses. Dot was 14 and son was 11. My second marriage was one of the best things that ever happened in my life. I got the best end of that deal. I, always, love to hear from you. Take care.
littlelady
God bless the USA
It was navy. Thanks for asking. Bye bye.