Well no one likes to be embarrassed, talked about and looked at funny in public because we always judge. So it was good for them to keep the secret for so long. Nosey people like you would have told the entire east coast about them.
I don't know if your nosey or not, just making a general statement.
Also they kept hope alive for many young couples so actually they did a good deed.
I'm with Vrail on this one.
People will judge no matter what anyway, which is fine and normal and the entire East coast would know about it merely a matter of minutes sooner than the rest of the planet anyway and I don't trust anyone who says "I don't judge" or, "not for me to judge". That's crap and it's dumb. Of course we judge.
We, people, observe, learn, grow, gain experience and part of that is judging; is that a good way to be? Is this? Was the thing I sneered at before actually a better way? Or, what Vrail is talking about 'is that behavior I thought well of beforehand just some flipping facade and, if anything more an indicator of deceit than it is a happy, healthy relationship?"
She and I were, at times, outwardly the happiest couple, ever. We did 'happy' well. However...at other times...there wasn't a person in the universe who couldn't tell when we were mad at one another. Like mad mad. Like burn a whole through you with THAT look, set you on fire, douse you with gas then nuke the ashes mad.
We were a rather...overt...pair with our feelings and thoughts. In any event, no one ever had doubts as to the good and bad. We did unhappy very, very poorly and were simply not good for one another. :sad:
That doesn't solve Vrail's quest for people to be really happy in their marriages but, at least we weren't contributing mixed signals or false behaviors to folks, especially youngins' who would get lost before they'd barely started, or others who would then go on message boards and say "But, they ALWAYS seemed so happy together!"
Relationships are a complicated thing. Two of the better, make that three, (I think) marriages I know personally, outwardly, they are mean to one another. A lot. Verbally. But, their behavior tells another story. They do well together over long, merciless time. The frauds, like Vrail is talking about, they should go on some show an apologize to their friends and family for fibbing and misleading and adding NOTHING to the progress of the species nor the body of knowledge we collectively have about THE WAY THINGS WORK.
Then, we throw tomatoes at them.
So, happy people, Vrai is pulling for you! Be happy, but, maybe share some secrets??? Real ones? Not secrets on how to hide malice. Not the real mAlice, the other malice.
As for me, if you're staying in a miserable relationship, I could not care less. Have at it! I have no idea what is good or bad because I've seen it all and when I judge, all I I judge is whether or not what couple A or B or C is doing would work
for me or not. Whether I could do it. I take heart that there are a lot of better men than me out there. Better women, too. Not better than me because I'm not a woman but, better in that they find THEIR way.
As bad as I am at being me, I can't act my way out of a paper bag. Every woman I have ever had a relationship would tell you they knew me, good and bad, in the first few weeks. If not minutes. And what I know about happy relationships would fill a thimble. A small one.
So, whatever you do, my advice would be to...be yourself. Or not. Or, sometimes be you, sometimes be...whatever.
It matters not to me because I have no clue. I have more day to day peace of mind and smooth happiness now than I have ever had before, rock solid gold to me, and there's a lot of people, on both sides, who ostensibly know us well, know us best, and just scratch their heads over it. We know something they don't and that's just how we do together. Which we have no idea how it works.
So, there, no simple answers!
), but geez...these two went way overboard being "in love" when they were throwing crockery at each other behind closed doors.
