What's so hard about dating?

sleuth

sleuth

Livin' Like Thanksgivin'
Originally posted by migtig
:poorbaby: Sleuth I wasn't trying to insult you, just point out the vibes that I picked up from you. I appreciate that you are you, but I am not the only female on this board who has picked up on the off setting behavior negative female attitude you project. Maybe I am the only one with enough balls to say so. :shrug:
A strong confident male doesn't have to posture and go on about other woman, nor does he have to insult them (as you have tried to do in your post). There are at least two reasons for this - one he is secure in himself and two he is showing respect. If he can't show respect I don't want him and if he isn't confident in himself I am not gonna take the time nor energy to reassure him.
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Mig, when I first read your post, my knee-jerk reaction was to tell you to p*ss off... but I resisted that because a) it would validate your statements and b) I generally don't like to curse around women, and c) I personally think you and I have a lot in common in our views in what we're looking for, and I think we both have our standards set too high (although I am learning to modify them with each passing day).

Then I wanted to counter your post point for point, but I decided getting defensive would only validate more of what you stated.

I decided on neither of those, rather, I took your argument and tried to turn it around on you, discredit it as best I could, i.e. I tried to poke holes in your argument, which I think I succeeded at.

But I don't see where I've gone on and insulted women. I'm clueless as to what you're talking about :shrug: I generally don't curse in front of women because I find it disrespectful, and the closest I've come to insulting women is saying that I don't understand them (who does?) If there was anything insulting that was said, you can bet it was said in jest.

I love women. I love women for every thing they do and have that men don't. I would venture to say I have more respect for most women than I do for most men.

You are the first woman I've ever met that has called me immature or said that I have a negative attitude towards women. In fact, I have always been told exactly the opposite, which just makes your statement baffle me even more.
 
migtig

migtig

aka Mrs. Giant
Originally posted by sleuth14
You are the first woman I've ever met that has called me immature or said that I have a negative attitude towards women. In fact, I have always been told exactly the opposite, which just makes your statement baffle me even more.
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PM Tater and ask him - he can probably explain better since I am a woman and you can't seem to relate to where I am coming from.
 
Ken King

Ken King

A little rusty but not crusty
PREMO Member
Speaking metaphorically, I think dating is a lot like hunting deer. If you set out looking for that trophy buck you will have to put in a ton of work, go deeper into the woods, and you might go seasons without seeing anything close to the one you want, not to mention that you will experience many disappointments from seeing the sign but never the critter. If and when you do find the one you want (and succeed with the shot) you might have something to hang on your wall but the meat will be tough and not very enjoyable. But if your approach is that you are just enjoying yourself or looking for meat you will probably get your shot early in the year and discover that while you might not have the trophy your freezer is full and you will be enjoying some tasty meat.

Drop your preconceived notions of the perfect match and sample the lot, who knows when that diamond in the rough will catch your eye and afford you the opportunity to polish it into the sparkling gem that it can be.
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
.
Speaking metaphorically, I think dating is a lot like hunting deer
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Kill it and grill it! :killingme

Sleuth and all the rest of you singles out there - Ken's analogy is the best I've ever seen when it comes to dating. I hope ya'll are paying attention.
 
Frank

Frank

Chairman of the Board
Originally posted by Ken King
who knows when that diamond in the rough will catch your eye and afford you the opportunity to polish it into the sparkling gem that it can be.
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I talked to a guy I knew and asked "why are all the good ones taken?". He said "because they WEREN'T good ones when they were taken. You need to find one that ISN'T polished yet. A lot of these women became really good partners AFTER they were with the men they're with". I'm sure it works both ways, too.
 
L

LastBoyscout

Only the shadow knows
I just read this whole thread and I have only one thing to say about all of it... :bs:

Not that I know anything on the subject myself...
 
B

Bahamie

Guest
Still trying to figure out this dating/relationship thing after three failed relationships :(

Ill get back to you
 
B

Bahamie

Guest
Still trying to figure out this dating/relationship thing after three failed relationships :(

Ill get back to you
 
Elle

Elle

Happy Camper!
I don't have any answers to this based on my past but after talking to a guy in my office about blind dates I've come to one conclusion, people are looking for the wrong thing when they go on dates. He wants to find his wife on his first date with a girl. I say go on a date with a person, if you hit it off you gain a friend and it may grow to more. If you don't really get along, nothing lost except one less person to add to your circle of friends.
 
Vince

Vince

......
Originally posted by tys_mommy
people are looking for the wrong thing when they go on dates. He wants to find his wife on his first date with a girl. I say go on a date with a person, if you hit it off you gain a friend and it may grow to more. If you don't really get along, nothing lost except one less person to add to your circle of friends.
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Why look for anything on a date? Why not just enjoy the person your out with. If you don't enjoy being with each other then you don't have to do it again. Maybe I'm not the one to talk. Been divorced for almost 2 years and had one date. But then there are not alot of single women around 40 in Southern Maryland or I haven't looked in the right places. But why worry about every move you make and every word you say to a woman just to impress her. Men, especially the younger guys worry about how to act with a woman, what to do or not to do. Just be yourself and if she doesn't like you she probably tell you or won't go out with you again. If she does then let it go from there. It may turn into something or nothing, but have fun with it. Some people can move from relationship to relationship as easily as changing socks, some take more time (Sleuth). Don't look for it, it'll happen all by itself. This is the most I've written on a subject since I've been on this forum. :biggrin:
 
T

TripleJ

New Member
this dating stuff looks rough? I think i will avoid it for now. I'll be the quiet guy sitting alone at the bar that makes you laugh when you talk to him..........:cheers:
 
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