Why Do Women Divorce Their Husbands?

[Patch]

Many of you will probably hate me after this thread, but you just can’t ask questions like this in real time to a large group and discuss it openly without stirring up excessive emotion.

So what are some reasons why women divorce their husbands? I’m not really looking for specific cases, but more in general terms. Or maybe I should ask, what are some common reasons why women divorce their husbands?

I really want to get married, but I really don’t want to get divorced. “They” say (with increasing frequency) the divorce rate is 50%, and some say it’s more than that. By just being a little observant of the marital status of a given group of people, it would be easy to see that those numbers are realistic.

Recently I was thinking - with odds like that, why would I get married? If I was going to take a trip on an airplane, and the pilot told me beforehand that there is a 50% chance that this plane will crash and burn, would I go? Would you? Of course not, so why take the same chance with the most important human relationship I’ll ever have?

So, what are some thoughts/observations?

 

[Pete]

Recently I was thinking - with odds like that, why would I get married? If I was going to take a trip on an airplane, and the pilot told me beforehand that there is a 50% chance that this plane will crash and burn, would I go? Would you? Of course not, so why take the same chance with the most important human relationship I’ll ever have?

So, what are some thoughts/observations?

Bad comparisson, in a plane crash you are going to die, during a divorce you only feel like you are dying. As a matter of fact most of the time a year after the divorce you are actually happy.

 

[Patch]

Why Do Women Divorce Their Husbands (Part 2)

Not to be misunderstood, I don't mean to imply that women are the reason for the divorce rate, but I'm trying to understand from a woman's point of view. So I'm asking about situations when the divorce is initiated by the woman. That is, what are the reasons that bring a woman to the point of saying, it's time to stop the train and get off?

 

[Mikeinsmd]

My opinion is that we get married way too young. I don't see how anyone can predict that they want to spend the next 30, 40 or 50 years with one person. Great if you do and I envy you if it happens but odds are against you.

 

[Wickedwrench]

Not to be misunderstood, I don't mean to imply that women are the reason for the divorce rate, but I'm trying to understand from a woman's point of view. So I'm asking about situations when the divorce is initiated by the woman. That is, what are the reasons that bring a woman to the point of saying, it's time to stop the train and get off?

Let's see...........................she doesn't feel loved, she doesn't feel adored, she doesn't feel wanted, she doesn't feel the communication is there, she doesn't feel she's getting a good return on her investment, she needs her space, you've grown apart, you're boring, you snore too much, the passion is gone, her clock is ticking, she's hit her sexual peak and you're no longer an option, her girlfriends/coworkers fill her head full of crap daily, she sees polls that say 50% of all marriages fail so it's socially acceptable, you no longer blow sunshine up her ass anymore, she watches too much "Desperate Housewives", she feels ignored.......................I'm sure I can come up with a few more if you need them.

Seriously, it seems these days that men or women either one don't need good reason to divorce. They are either happy in life or they are not, period. Just be sure if you do marry that you find a happy one and not make her miserable.

Good luck!

 

[Pandora]

Oh great, another thread where men can bash women and visa versa.

 

[virgovictoria]

I would say that the biggest reason a truly love-filled marriage would end would be lack of trust.

I'm not talking about the typical fidelity, financial, issues or even inappropriate or abusive relationships...

I'm talking about what I feel could make a good relationship go bad would have to be a trust-related matter. Those seem to be the maker-breakers in the death-do-them-part-ers in this world.

And I'm not just talking about cheating trust either. I'm talking about trusting someone to build a life with, trust with your insecurities and not have them use them against you; trust them to pick up the slack when you need them to and trust you to do the same. Trust that you're safe.

All of the nastiness seems to stem from the instability from the lack thereof. Financial nightmares and even hell through years have seem to withstand...If a relationship has a solid foundation of trust.

So, that's my $.02

 

[Shannie0308]

I've never been divorced so I'm just going to give some reasons I can think of:

-man being unfaithful or the woman wanting to be with someone else
-not being in love with your husband anymore, which probably means you married the wrong person to begin with.
-feeling alone in the relationship, meaning doing EVERYTHING with the house, children, everything besides the man actual job/career

:shrug: Those are just what come to my mind. I'm sure there's thousands of reasons.

 

[Wickedwrench]

My opinion is that we get married way too young. I don't see how anyone can predict that they want to spend the next 30, 40 or 50 years with one person. Great if you do and I envy you if it happens but odds are against you.

I sometimes wonder if we truly know who we are before age 30. Factors like kids and stress can shape who you are in the end.

 

[Lilypad]

Common reasons women divorce their husbands:
Drug abuse-#1 deal breaker-
Spouse abuse-#1 deal breaker
Neglect-D'oh!
Infidelity-why get married?
Trust issues-why get married?
Immaturity-any age!
Religion-"I'll convert" but changes their mind
Children-yes/no?? shoulda talked about this BEFORE marriage
Jealousy-GROW UP!

 

[vraiblonde]

My opinion is that we get married way too young. I don't see how anyone can predict that they want to spend the next 30, 40 or 50 years with one person.

I completely agree that this is the most common reason why women (or anyone) gets divorced. Everything else - abuse, drug use, infidelity, neglect - is a symptom of being too immature to be married.

 

[Lilypad]

Gee, I left out stupidity!

"Stupid people shouldn't breed"

 

[somd whisper]

Many of you will probably hate me after this thread, but you just can’t ask questions like this in real time to a large group and discuss it openly without stirring up excessive emotion.

So what are some reasons why women divorce their husbands? I’m not really looking for specific cases, but more in general terms. Or maybe I should ask, what are some common reasons why women divorce their husbands?

I really want to get married, but I really don’t want to get divorced. “They” say (with increasing frequency) the divorce rate is 50%, and some say it’s more than that. By just being a little observant of the marital status of a given group of people, it would be easy to see that those numbers are realistic.

Recently I was thinking - with odds like that, why would I get married? If I was going to take a trip on an airplane, and the pilot told me beforehand that there is a 50% chance that this plane will crash and burn, would I go? Would you? Of course not, so why take the same chance with the most important human relationship I’ll ever have?

So, what are some thoughts/observations?

This is what kept me from divorcing my husband

Faithfulness (both sides)
Honesty (as much as we both could take)
Remembering that you are not joined at the hip and that each of us did have a life before marriage
Respect each other and give room for individual space
Romance, nothing fancy just an “I love you” he used to make me feel appreciated and yes I did the same in return.
We got to know each other really well before we got married, we did not rush into anything…it was an old fashioned courtship
Don’t take each other for granted
Don’t be afraid to try new things
More than one TV with a remote


When we did have disagreements we tried to see things from each others perceptive and try to meet in the middle.

 

[aps45819]

As a matter of fact most of the time a year after the divorce you are actually happy.

If not sooner

 

[PJay]

This is what kept me from divorcing my husband

Faithfulness (both sides)
Honesty (as much as we both could take)
Remembering that you are not joined at the hip and that each of us did have a life before marriage
Respect each other and give room for individual space
Romance, nothing fancy just an “I love you” he used to make me feel appreciated and yes I did the same in return.
We got to know each other really well before we got married, we did not rush into anything…it was an old fashioned courtship
Don’t take each other for granted
Don’t be afraid to try new things
More than one TV with a remote


When we did have disagreements we tried to see things from each others perceptive and try to meet in the middle.

So sorry for your loss I know you had tears while typing. I had them while reading.

If you want to share, how long has it been since you lost your love?

 

[somd whisper]

So sorry for your loss I know you had tears while typing. I had them while reading.

If you want to share, how long has it been since you lost your love?

A little over a year...but sometimes it feels as if it were yesterday...I was lucky we were happy...we were together for a long time so I will always have those memories, and I see him everyday in the kids...thanks for the hug...are you married?

 

[somd whisper]

Angel you have good points... I wish you the very best for what the future may hold for you

 

[Patch]

My opinion is that we get married way too young. I don't see how anyone can predict that they want to spend the next 30, 40 or 50 years with one person. Great if you do and I envy you if it happens but odds are against you.

That can't be it! It shouldn't be! I won't accept it! And I'm going to hold my breath until you take it back.

No doubt, some couples get married and are not prepared for it. But in general , if it's a matter of predicting, where's the commitment? In that case marriage is nothing more than advanced dating. The motto then would be, "I'll be committed to you until I decide not to be." That's scary! Virgovictoria had a really good post on trust. If I have to predict (and most likely will predict wrong) then there really is no basis for trust, which leads to all kinds of problems.

 

[PJay]

Not to be misunderstood, I don't mean to imply that women are the reason for the divorce rate, but I'm trying to understand from a woman's point of view. So I'm asking about situations when the divorce is initiated by the woman. That is, what are the reasons that bring a woman to the point of saying, it's time to stop the train and get off?

For some most sure physical and or mental abuse.

 

[Patch]

I would say that the biggest reason a truly love-filled marriage would end would be lack of trust.

I'm not talking about the typical fidelity, financial, issues or even inappropriate or abusive relationships...

I'm talking about what I feel could make a good relationship go bad would have to be a trust-related matter. Those seem to be the maker-breakers in the death-do-them-part-ers in this world.

And I'm not just talking about cheating trust either. I'm talking about trusting someone to build a life with, trust with your insecurities and not have them use them against you; trust them to pick up the slack when you need them to and trust you to do the same. Trust that you're safe.

All of the nastiness seems to stem from the instability from the lack thereof. Financial nightmares and even hell through years have seem to withstand...If a relationship has a solid foundation of trust.

Good post. I've always thought that a marriage should be a place where both people can feel safe because they trust one another thoroughly. They trust that they are allies, a team, and are always looking out for the good of the other. Now that I think about it, how could a marriage be successful without that level of trust? When I was in basic training, my drill instructor, for whatever reason (I forgot), gave us this advice about marriage - 'When you get married, it's you and your wife against the rest of the world.' That statement by itself sounds a little paranoid, but in context I know what he meant. That is, you and your wife are a team and there is no one else that you will be able to trust like her.

On the other hand, I wouldn't say lack of trust is the only reason, although if a divorce happens, trust is probably gone.