Why women "don't like nice guys"

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ItalianScallion

Harley Rider
Cheeky1 said:
...perhaps "bad boys" wear who they are on their sleeves,
any prospective woman knows what they will be getting themselves into
Call me crazy, but this would sound fairly predictable to me...but like you said - contradictions.
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Crazy, you are not. There's a lot of truth there and Vrai expounded on it a bit. Bad boys are clearly "visible" to us all so why don't/won't the women recognize it? IMO, because they love the excitement (and all that goes with it) and are willing to trade "niceness" for it.

And it is very predictable. No one (except young teen girls) has any excuse for not knowing the outcome. It's all over TV, facebook, my space and schools. Lots of women believe they can "tame" the bad boy but, most often, they cannot.
vraiblonde said:
Left to our own devices, most of us would put a guy on the road the second he shows a-hole tendencies. Because, make no mistake, we do notice. We may not say anything when they make some rude remark, or stand us up, but we are very aware that they suck. Unfortunately we watch TV and solicit our friends' opinion because we second-guess ourselves. We are repeatedly assured that that's the way men, and people in general, are. So we think it must be us and we are overly demanding, which is considered a bad thing. THEY suck it up and stand by their man - what the hell is wrong with me?? And before you know it, our beloved is doing all sorts of unpleasant things, and we cannot figure out how it got so bad.:shrug:
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Having worked with teenagers for a lot of years, I've dealt with a lot of these issues first hand. Mostly with the girls (sadly) and their broken dreams & expectations. Some of them were suicidal and irreconcilable for a time. It seemed the more their friends & family said to drop him, the more they wanted to keep him, so I had to take a different course of action that, fortunately, worked for them (Self esteem & self worth reinforcement).

From your bolded statements: Why do you think that most women fail to learn from their disastrous mistakes and go right back to another "bad boy"?
vraiblonde said:
There were no surprises with him - he, in real life, was very much like he is on the forums.
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May/Should I ask for clarification? :yikes: Not sure whether to thank you or...
 
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acommondisaster

acommondisaster

Active Member
I often think women go after bad boys because they have low self esteem.

And there's definitely a difference between a good guy and a mama's boy or a doormat.

Who wants a bad BOY when you can have a good GUY?
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
ItalianScallion said:
May/Should I ask for clarification? :yikes: Not sure whether to thank you or...
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Depends on your thing. I am proud to be the Vraibeetch. There are numerous peeps who think I suck, but as long as *I* don't think I suck, life is good.

So? Are you proud or ashamed to be you?
 
Railroad

Railroad

Routinely Derailed
vraiblonde said:
Depends on your thing. I am proud to be the Vraibeetch. There are numerous peeps who think I suck, but as long as *I* don't think I suck, life is good.
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:lol: I think you're wonderful, but some of us don't think too hard about why you might be. As a matter of fact, I accept a lot of people who might not be commonly acceptable. But as the saying goes, beauty is skin deep but ugly goes clear to the bone, and time on the forums exposes a lot more of ourselves than we might have planned.

But women are less predictable than the weather, although men might be predictable to a greater degree, and attractions frequently defy logic and rules. The spark is between the sparker and the one who receives it. All this other crap about being attracted or repelled and what's the formula and whatnot, means nothing when things are taken out of our control.
 
I

ItalianScallion

Harley Rider
vraiblonde said:
Depends on your thing. I am proud to be the Vraibeetch. There are numerous peeps who think I suck, but as long as *I* don't think I suck, life is good. So? Are you proud or ashamed to be you?
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Although I hate rudeness, I do "consider" what others say about me. Their opinion of me won't normally change me because I'm totally happy with who I am but I am my own worst critic.

If you like me; great! If you don't; oh well. I was just curious what you meant by: he's the same on the forums as he is in person". Help a brother out, ok?
 
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BadGirl

BadGirl

I am so very blessed
ItalianScallion said:
Although I hate rudeness, I do "consider" to what others say about me. Their opinion of me won't normally change me because I'm totally happy with who I am but I am my own worst critic.

If you like me; great! If you don't; oh well. I was just curious what you meant by: he's the same on the forums as he is in person". Help a brother out, ok?
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I think that what's she's saying is that you are annoying, judgemental, and creepy. Heavy on the judgemental part.

But I could be wrong.
 
Railroad

Railroad

Routinely Derailed
:pete: I KNOW I'm a mess. This helps me refrain from getting on a nerve. It also helps me from being too not-nice. It also helps me stay married.
 
I

ItalianScallion

Harley Rider
BadGirl said:
I think that what's she's saying is that you are annoying, judgemental, and creepy. Heavy on the judgemental part. But I could be wrong.
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You usually are...

Don't get too full of yourselves because you ladies are the same: Very judgmental, socially rude, arrogant, opinionated, annoying and lacking in human decency; but there IS good news: You can't see it, so you can continue on as you see fit... Ain't it great!?? :otter:
 
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vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
ItalianScallion said:
Although I hate rudeness, I do "consider" to what others say about me. Their opinion of me won't normally change me because I'm totally happy with who I am but I am my own worst critic.

If you like me; great! If you don't; oh well. I was just curious what you meant by: he's the same on the forums as he is in person". Help a brother out, ok?
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I don't think you should worry about what strangers on the internet think of you.

:smile:
 
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