Why women "don't like nice guys"

[SamSpade]

But wouldn't it be easier to just marry someone you're attracted to in the first place, and flirt with them?

To readdress what I said before, much of that you will NOT have, *spontaneously*. Most of the time, your brain won't work that way. You won't feel the same kind of exhilaration you did the first time around, which is why it's so exciting with someone *new*.

Assuming it took a while to get to know your S.O. right now, chances are it's not worth the risk to push it further, but it can be tempting. And yes, you can rekindle something with the one you're with. It just won't be like the thrill of new love, which is just chemical in your brain. It's like a hit of crack - it goes away.

 

[migtig]

You're MUCH luckier than the rest of them..

I mean.. c'mon!!

No way. I'm the lucky one.

 

[Hank]

Any1 can dress up or down, but the 1 that looks Gr8 anytime makes a big difference. That spark will hit ya better everytime.
Anything else will just fall into place, that is if the receptor is in sync.

Either you make it happen if you want to, or just walk away..no regrets, no cussin. Bad feelings should never be an issue at all, as well as any wtf attitude. It happened.

No words at all is better than wishin u hadn`t said something you may wish you hadn`t.

True love is real, not surreal. Every1 defines it differently. It`s all in how either of the participating parties interpret what they want a/o desire.

Communication plain & simple.

Do you tuck?

 

[ItalianScallion]

Women probably do want a nice guy....as a friend. As a shoulder, a b!tch (shopping) buddy, a bouncer, whatever.....anything, but a sexual relationship.

Yes but haven't you seen some of the nicest (hottest) women with the worst guys IMO? He's usually there for only one thing and she usually gives it up in the hopes of keeping him around. These guys usually aren't attentive to her (much), and yet she worships him but spends much of her time complaining about how he treats her. I know why, but it's still causing problems everywhere :shrug:

 

[ItalianScallion]

...nice guys are boring. They weren't fun. They didn't know how to party all night. They were often predictable. And my older sister made the case that with a nice guy, the mystery is gone. With a bad boy, you always wonder if they still want you, find you captivating, find you sexy. With the nice guy, that's a closed case...

Very true. Most people want and need excitement in their lives but most relationships will eventually suffer from the "same old same old". Knowing how to keep each other happy comes from knowing how men & women are very different in their thinking. What keeps women interested is, often, different from what keeps men interested...

 

[ItalianScallion]

...I am two-faced because...? I daresay it's you who can't handle the truth. Oh, well - life goes on.

Perspective. When we were introduced at Toots, I said it's nice to meet you and you said the same to me. Now you hate me...:shrug:

 

[Bann]

Perspective. When we were introduced at Toots, I said it's nice to meet you and you said the same to me. Now you hate me...:shrug:

This is probably part of your problem. I didn't say I hated you. I said I didn't much care for you before the meeting & you did nothing to change that opinion.

It's certainly NOT two faced to say "it's nice to meet you" upon being introduced to someone in a social setting. It is completely customary & proper to do so. I wasn't rude when I met you because that is the way I am & it is the cordial & polite thing to say & do.

Basically, the lack of conversation indicates a lack of interest. :shrug: It's no biggie, really. It happens to all of us.

 

[MidnightOil]

Depends on what you mean by "nice." sometimes "nice" is a euphamism for fantastically annoying. I don't want a puppy dog that follows me and agrees with everything I say and do, and never challenges me on anything. Been there, had that, and it bored me to tears. "nice" can mean so many things. I like actual nice men..but most that actually first and foremost identify themselves as a "nice" guy are mostly just obnoxious men who need to have something to explain why they can't keep a decent chick. oh yeah, im "nice" and women don't like that


as for booty calls..not every relationship needs to be an Im going to marry you because you are my souuulllllmmmaaatttteeee type deal. However I am too proud and too attached to my junk being healthy to want any kind of relationship with someone who is sleeping with other people. that's it. I don't really see anything wrong, if two people are on the same page and enjoy each other, why they can't sleep together and not consider themselves in line for the alter. but it's gotta be exclusive, sorry. I have watched friends sleep with guys who never call them or talk to them again, and its pathetic. I never put myself in that position. I've never had it happen to me...It could be because I am sooo fantastic they all want to marry me but more likely it is because I am not stupid and some guy that has rarely talked to me all the sudden wants to get busy just isn't getting any. I wish more moms would teach their daughters this crap. my mom used to tell me "when devoid of any options, goat herders in the desert would screw a goat. If they would screw a goat, why the hell do girls feel like they are special? they are just that night's goat" best advice ever. So many girls think because a man will sleep with them, it means they love them. THATS what causes the confusion in these casual relationships, stupid girls (and sometimes guys) who believe they have won some kind of war by getting into someone's pants.

Seriously. That's wisdom! I need to tell my oldest girl that. I didn't have to worry about this stuff, but girls nowadays sure do.

 

[struggler44]

Perspective. When we were introduced at Toots, I said it's nice to meet you and you said the same to me. Now you hate me...:shrug:

This is probably part of your problem. I didn't say I hated you. I said I didn't much care for you before the meeting & you did nothing to change that opinion.

It's certainly NOT two faced to say "it's nice to meet you" upon being introduced to someone in a social setting. It is completely customary & proper to do so. I wasn't rude when I met you because that is the way I am & it is the cordial & polite thing to say & do.

Basically, the lack of conversation indicates a lack of interest. :shrug: It's no biggie, really. It happens to all of us.

So both of you were a creeper afar that night.............move along now, you're dragging the thread down........

 

[GWguy]

 

[MidnightOil]

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I didn't know this was a dating forum

 

[Hank]

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Penn!!!!

 

[ItalianScallion]

This is probably part of your problem. I didn't say I hated you. I said I didn't much care for you before the meeting & you did nothing to change that opinion.
It's certainly NOT two faced to say "it's nice to meet you" upon being introduced to someone in a social setting. It is completely customary & proper to do so. I wasn't rude when I met you because that is the way I am & it is the cordial & polite thing to say & do.
Basically, the lack of conversation indicates a lack of interest. :shrug: It's no biggie, really. It happens to all of us.

My problem? Ok, whatever...:shrug:

So both of you were a creeper afar that night.............move along now, you're dragging the thread down........

Are you being mean so some gal will ask you out?

 

[Cheeky1]

Yes but haven't you seen some of the nicest (hottest) women with the worst guys IMO? He's usually there for only one thing and she usually gives it up in the hopes of keeping him around. These guys usually aren't attentive to her (much), and yet she worships him but spends much of her time complaining about how he treats her. I know why, but it's still causing problems everywhere :shrug:

...perhaps it is the, bad boys make good men, theory?

...perhaps "bad boys" wear who they are on their sleeves, so, that any prospective woman knows what they will be getting themselves into. (call me crazy, but this would sound fairly predictable to me...but like you said - contradictions)

 

[Cheeky1]

...Basically, the lack of conversation indicates a lack of interest.

I'd have to disagree. Not in all cases, but generally, disagree. Talk is cheap.

DO something together and the talking, and conversation, will come.

 

[vraiblonde]

Yes but haven't you seen some of the nicest (hottest) women with the worst guys IMO? He's usually there for only one thing and she usually gives it up in the hopes of keeping him around. These guys usually aren't attentive to her (much), and yet she worships him but spends much of her time complaining about how he treats her. I know why, but it's still causing problems everywhere :shrug:

Left to our own devices, most of us would put a guy on the road the second he shows a-hole tendencies. Because, make no mistake, we do notice. We may not say anything when they make some rude remark, or stand us up, but we are very aware that they suck.

Unfortunately we watch TV and solicit our friends' opinion because we second-guess ourselves. We are repeatedly assured that that's the way men, and people in general, are. So we think it must be us and we are overly demanding, which is considered a bad thing. THEY suck it up and stand by their man - what the hell is wrong with me?? And before you know it, our beloved is doing all sorts of unpleasant things, and we cannot figure out how it got so bad.

:shrug:

 

[Hank]

Left to our own devices, most of us would put a guy on the road the second he shows a-hole tendencies. Because, make no mistake, we do notice. We may not say anything when they make some rude remark, or stand us up, but we are very aware that they suck.

Unfortunately we watch TV and solicit our friends' opinion because we second-guess ourselves. We are repeatedly assured that that's the way men, and people in general, are. So we think it must be us and we are overly demanding, which is considered a bad thing. THEY suck it up and stand by their man - what the hell is wrong with me?? And before you know it, our beloved is doing all sorts of unpleasant things, and we cannot figure out how it got so bad.

:shrug:

So, does someone's "online persona" sway your judgment on people?

 

[Hank]

So, does someone's "online persona" sway your judgment on people?

Reason I ask, is it sounds like Italian's online persona already had these ladies a little wary...

 

[vraiblonde]

So, does someone's "online persona" sway your judgment on people?

Absolutely. I've said dozens of times: who you are online when you think you're anonymous....that's who you are. I've heard the old, "Oh, he/she is really nice in person!" many times, and it's always been bull.

 

[Hank]

Absolutely. I've said dozens of times: who you are online when you think you're anonymous....that's who you are. I've heard the old, "Oh, he/she is really nice in person!" many times, and it's always been bull.

dammit!!!!!