Wow...a lot going on here...
Try being honest with yourself first, very honest...we all go through life facing the same crud just at different degrees and every day we are changing
sometimes for the better sometimes...worse. Being bitter and even worse being judgemental of others will go nowhere. We are who we are...most, unfortunately, having some kind of hidden agenda. It seems you are trying way too hard to "find" the perfect mate FAST. It's not going to happen as long as you are trying to change them or get them to conform to your idea of the perfect man. Acceptance, compassion and honesty go a long way.
Open your eyes and try to go through this trip called life a little lighter, every day it get's shorter. Some people do better on their own than others...it's just how we are put together.
At my age...changing my personality or morals now is not possible. We either have the character, charisma now...whatever you want to call it, or we do not. Be sure to be honest with others as well...this guy is calling and texting because he might not have heard the "it's not going to happen" speech from you yet. S L O W D O W N, R E L A X and for petes sake be careful...oh and read the poem by Linda Ellis called "The Dash"...live it, you can't go wrong there.
Kick it down a notch and enjoy! I'm not a psychologist, and my opinions really don't matter much