Would you divorce because of this?

[stylin]

My stepson lived with us until finally he moved out on his own. However, when he was a teen, he and I use to fight so badly...it was horrible. (no help from his father either) Well, come to find out he called his exwife about me and his son not getting along. Yes this was about 10 years ago but I feel so betrayed and just....don't know.

Let me give the pre-reason. Years ago when we were dating he has spoke to her about a problem he and I were having....(we lived together) I left and when we talked I told him if he ever disrespected like that again I would leave. Well, now that we are married, I find this out and want to leave. I can't even think.....I just keep wondering what else.

I believe this person 100%, no buts about it either. I have not talked to my husband about it and feel like he has betrayed everything. We have been have a few glitches, no communicaiton....and I feel like this is the icing on the cake. I have a 7 year old with him who adores her daddy and do not want to hurt her. Should just stay and get over it? Some advice would be great.

 

[kwillia]

My stepson lived with us until finally he moved out on his own. However, when he was a teen, he and I use to fight so badly...it was horrible. (no help from his father either) Well, come to find out he called his exwife about me and his son not getting along. Yes this was about 10 years ago but I feel so betrayed and just....don't know.

Let me give the pre-reason. Years ago when we were dating he has spoke to her about a problem he and I were having....(we lived together) I left and when we talked I told him if he ever disrespected like that again I would leave. Well, now that we are married, I find this out and want to leave. I can't even think.....I just keep wondering what else.

I believe this person 100%, no buts about it either. I have not talked to my husband about it and feel like he has betrayed everything. We have been have a few glitches, no communicaiton....and I feel like this is the icing on the cake. I have a 7 year old with him who adores her daddy and do not want to hurt her. Should just stay and get over it? Some advice would be great.

It sounds to me like we aren't talking a minor head butting here or there so he had every right to discuss your volatile relationship with his son's mother. It became her business because it directly involved her son. Get over it.

 

[Pete]

So you want to leave because 10 years ago he called and consulted with his ex about how you and their son did not get along?

 

[jetmonkey]

Why are you so threatened by his previous lover?

 

[Cowgirl]

It sounds to me like we aren't talking a minor head butting here or there so he had every right to discuss your volatile relationship with his son's mother. It became her business because it directly involved her son. Get over it.

I :heart: Kwillia.

 

[MMDad]

Yes, you should leave, but leave your daughter with him. She needs someone loving and mentally stable, and that is not you.

 

[Kain99]

He owed it to his Ex to stay in contact about the boy. He did nothing wrong at all.

 

[stylin]

It sounds to me like we aren't talking a minor head butting here or there so he had every right to discuss your volatile relationship with his son's mother. It became her business because it directly involved her son. Get over it.

No the problem was his teenage son would cuss me out, call me a bit**, f-u, your my mother...blah blah blah, then when his father would come home from work, would lie and say he never said that and that I was going off on him for no reason. Almost left because of it, however, it finally happened when my husband had pulled in the driveway and heard everthing. His son was graduating so husband told him to move out.

 

[kwillia]

No the problem was his teenage son would cuss me out, call me a bit**, f-u, your my mother...blah blah blah, then when his father would come home from work, would lie and say he never said that and that I was going off on him for no reason. Almost left because of it, however, it finally happened when my husband had pulled in the driveway and heard everthing. His son was graduating so husband told him to move out.

This has nothing to do with the issue you raised in your first post. You have an issue with him discussing it with his son's mother. It shouldn't be an issue with you as he had the right to do so without having to clear it with you.

 

[stylin]

Yes, you should leave, but leave your daughter with him. She needs someone loving and mentally stable, and that is not you.

How many times have you been married?

We are both mentally stable and if anything were to happen with our marriage, she comes first....your an idiot!

 

[Pete]

How many times have you been married?

We are both mentally stable and if anything were to happen with our marriage, she comes first....your an idiot!

 

[stylin]

This has nothing to do with the issue you raised in your first post. You have an issue with him discussing it with his son's mother. It shouldn't be an issue with you as he had the right to do so without having to clear it with you.

EXACTLY! He should have discussed it with me. Whatever....should not have spread my business. Thought that maybe some of you older ones that have been married would understand. Would take too much time to write the entire situation....nevermind.

 

[tommyjones]

My stepson lived with us until finally he moved out on his own. However, when he was a teen, he and I use to fight so badly...it was horrible. (no help from his father either) Well, come to find out he called his exwife about me and his son not getting along. Yes this was about 10 years ago but I feel so betrayed and just....don't know.

Let me give the pre-reason. Years ago when we were dating he has spoke to her about a problem he and I were having....(we lived together) I left and when we talked I told him if he ever disrespected like that again I would leave. Well, now that we are married, I find this out and want to leave. I can't even think.....I just keep wondering what else.

I believe this person 100%, no buts about it either. I have not talked to my husband about it and feel like he has betrayed everything. We have been have a few glitches, no communicaiton....and I feel like this is the icing on the cake. I have a 7 year old with him who adores her daddy and do not want to hurt her. Should just stay and get over it? Some advice would be great.

so are you mader that he talked to her, or that he told her you are a B?

 

[Kain99]

How many times have you been married?

We are both mentally stable and if anything were to happen with our marriage, she comes first....your an idiot!

Honestly, it is not mentally stable to be upset that Dad talked to the mother of his child.

 

[vraiblonde]

It shouldn't be an issue with you as he had the right to do so without having to clear it with you.

I disagree with that. If there was a problem, all three adults should have sat down and discussed it. Stylin should have the opportunity to present her side and suggest solutions to the problem, not just have her husband and his ex ganging up on her.

However, Stylin, you need to talk to your husband and get the whole story, not just believe things you "hear". Communication works two ways.

 

[Cowgirl]

EXACTLY! He should have discussed it with me. Whatever....should not have spread my business. Thought that maybe some of you older ones that have been married would understand. Would take too much time to write the entire situation....nevermind.

Are you upset that he talked the boy's mother about you two not getting along? I just want to make sure this is the issue.

 

[Kain99]

I disagree with that. If there was a problem, all three adults should have sat down and discussed it. Stylin should have the opportunity to present her side and suggest solutions to the problem, not just have her husband and his ex ganging up on her.

However, Stylin, you need to talk to your husband and get the whole story, not just believe things you "hear". Communication works two ways.

I'm betting that Dad did not consider the situation serious enough for all of that drama.

 

[MMDad]

How many times have you been married?

We are both mentally stable and if anything were to happen with our marriage, she comes first....your an idiot!

Are you implying that my opinion is not valid if I haven't been married multiple times?

Guess what: multiple divorces are not the sign of somebody who is mentally stable.

To answer your question, I have been married once, and plan to remain married to the same person until one of us dies. Why would you bother getting married if that isn't your goal?

 

[vraiblonde]

I'm betting that Dad did not consider the situation serious enough for all of that drama.

It created more drama by him running to the ex to "discuss" his wife. That would have pissed me off, too. If hubby and the ex still wanted to be a family with their children, they shouldn't have gotten divorced.

 

[stylin]

I'm betting that Dad did not consider the situation serious enough for all of that drama.

He considered it serious enough 10 years ago to tell her not to tell me he called her because I would leave. He has never after that even contacted her. I raised their son, did the best I could for what I had to work with. She moved out of state leaving him with us at 8 years old and spoiled to the hilt. Expected everything and my husband felt sorry for him so no punishments. This would take too long.