You won't be in today for work because....

[virgovictoria]

-I have never ever missed a day of work

<a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNskw006' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_30_109.gif' alt='You Rock' border=0></a>

-what do you use as an excuse?

<a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNskw006' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_2_1.gif' alt='Constipated' border=0></a>

-And, what do you do when your off ?

Might I suggest:
<a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNskw006' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/7/7_2_112.gif' alt='Bungy Jump' border=0></a>

 

[SamSpade]

Why do you need someone to complete your TS first off?

I don't. She draws up a draft, and then a final copy, based on one I give her. I sign each. My TS is due on her desk the Monday of the second week of the pay period. Yep. BEFORE the pay period is up. This is because she's so inept, it takes her all week to get it right. She has no other responsibilities besides the timesheets. Members of our section claim she sneaks off and goes home during the day.

She just never gets it right. If I'm off all week - out sick - she does it outright, and it STILL is annual unless I make a point to correct it.

 

[ladybug2004]

<a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNskw006' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_30_109.gif' alt='You Rock' border=0></a>




**My thoughts exactly! I must be nuts!!! Time to play hookie. Just wondering what kind of weird or crazy excuses people have used over the years.


<a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNskw006' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_2_1.gif' alt='Constipated' border=0></a>

No thanks. I'd prefer rack'ms excuse over this!!

Might I suggest:
<a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNskw006' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/7/7_2_112.gif' alt='Bungy Jump' border=0></a>

Now, this looks like fun

 

[dustin]

<a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNskw006' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_30_109.gif' alt='You Rock' border=0></a>





<a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNskw006' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_2_1.gif' alt='Constipated' border=0></a>

Might I suggest:
<a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNskw006' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/7/7_2_112.gif' alt='Bungy Jump' border=0></a>

are you pimping out smiley's again?

 

[dustin]

I don't. She draws up a draft, and then a final copy, based on one I give her. I sign each. My TS is due on her desk the Monday of the second week of the pay period. Yep. BEFORE the pay period is up. This is because she's so inept, it takes her all week to get it right. She has no other responsibilities besides the timesheets. Members of our section claim she sneaks off and goes home during the day.

She just never gets it right. If I'm off all week - out sick - she does it outright, and it STILL is annual unless I make a point to correct it.

I dont' know shizzle about timesheets and she seems like a waste of air to me.

 

[SamSpade]

Does she have bad feet, a bad perm and a dog?

Don't they all?

I just lament the fact that we no longer have "secretaries". We have timekeepers. We all individually do all the other things that secretaries used to do, like prepare travel intineraries, book hotel rooms, purchase tickets, fill out forms, fax forms, get payments to conferences and classes. And this happens because after many years, they realized they can't find one person who can get it right.

True story - a few years back, I was scheduled for a conference in NYC for a few days. BUT IF you booked it after a certain date, you would not only pay a much higher price, you ran the risk of NOT being able to arrange transportation, get a room in the hotel the conference was held in, and so on. When the date for a higher rate came, and my arrangements hadn't been done, I hotfooted it around myself all day, making sure every i was dotted and every t was crossed. THREE WEEKS LATER my secretary *began* to put it together - a mere five days before the trip. My boss was *FURIOUS*. She went to great lengths to get me APPROVED for the conference, and had we relied on our secretary, it would have cost us about another 600 bucks.

 

[CapsFan]

Don't call anyone just stay home. Go in the next day and tell them "oh by the way i was on leave yesterday".

 

[Chasey_Lane]

BEFORE the pay period is up.

And what does your auditor say about that?

 

[BadGirl]

Sometimes I just say, "you guys are making me sick, so today I'm gonna stay home and feel good".

 

[Uncle Charlie]

The Truth won't cost you your job

As an EMPLOYER, owning my own company, the truth usually is best. Vacation days can be denied for valid reasons, like shortage of employees, behind in your work, etc.

Personal leave days supposedly cannot be denied. They are just that, personal. That's what all the hullibulu is about over that teacher retiring when they denied her personal leave days.

Sick leave can NEVER be denied. It is against the law. Abuse of sick leave, if it can be documented, can cost you your job. (That includes lying about it.)
Lying about being sick is one of the primary reasons for justified terminations according to un-employment. And it isn't just your boss who might see you, a jealous co-worker or some other as--ole who wants to climb the corporate ladder on anybody's back they can might see you doing something and "dime you out!"

In ANY case, it is not necessary (you're really not supposed to ask as a boss / employer) for you to tell your boss why you want off or get detailed about your illness. Supervisors / employers are not supposed to ask because it can lead to them getting in the jackpot if they deny your vacation leave for say "national ice cream day" but approve someone else to get off for "national pie day." You can either be off, or not. If they insist, use mental health day and than lodge a complaint against the boss.

Do you work for an as--hole? Cuz it sounds like you don't think you would be given the day off if you asked. If your workload is up to snuff and there isn't a shortage of employees to do your work (for 1 day) they shouldn't care. If you work for an as--ole, put out your resume or go over thier head.

It absolutely piss-- me off when bosses are as--oles and employees feel like they have to circumvent the system to get a day off. Guess that's why I started my own business 20 years ago.......

Glad I got THAT off my chest.....

 

[Railroad]

I look myself in the eye and say - "I can't lie to you. I'm feeling lazy today, so I'm not working."

 

[SamSpade]

And what does your auditor say about that?

Absolutely nothing, since we don't have any(???).

 

[Chasey_Lane]

As an EMPLOYER, owning my own company, the truth usually is best. Vacation days can be denied for valid reasons, like shortage of employees, behind in your work, etc.

FYI, any compensated time given to an employee by his/her employer is a "benefit" and not a "right." The employer can pay out all vacation, sick, personal (or choose not to) at date of termination.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

Absolutely nothing, since we don't have any(???).

Well, then...I truly and honestly hope you never come into contact with the DOL. You would be SCREWED!

 

[SamSpade]

Well, then...I truly and honestly hope you never come into contact with the DOL. You would be SCREWED!

Why?

 

[Chasey_Lane]

Why?

Because you are incorrectly validating hours before the time has been worked.

I My TS is due on her desk the Monday of the second week of the pay period. Yep. BEFORE the pay period is up.

I'm not sure who you work for, but I work for a DoD contractor. One of our big auditors is the DCAA. If they came to MY building and saw that timesheets were recorded in advance, we would get in big trouble.

 

[Otter]

If they came to MY building and saw that timesheets were recorded in advance, we would get in big trouble.

All govt jobs/contracts are like that, and they take it VERY seriously. We have to fill out our time cards daily at the end of the work day.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

All govt jobs/contracts are like that, and they take it VERY seriously. We have to fill out our time cards daily at the end of the work day.

Exactly! And SS, is it really worth you getting (possibly) fired for (technically speaking) providing false information on your timesheet?

 

[Railroad]

Because you are incorrectly validating hours before the time has been worked.

I'm not sure who you work for, but I work for a DoD contractor. One of our big auditors is the DCAA. If they came to MY building and saw that timesheets were recorded in advance, we would get in big trouble.

Sam's probably a Government employee, and so the standards (or application of them anyway) might be a little different than for us beltway bandits. Aww, we're splitting hairs anyway.

 

[SamSpade]

Because you are incorrectly validating hours before the time has been worked.

I'm not sure who you work for, but I work for a DoD contractor. One of our big auditors is the DCAA. If they came to MY building and saw that timesheets were recorded in advance, we would get in big trouble.

I don't work for either the DOD or a defense contractor. I've been here - not counting working at a different job for a couple years and returning - for fifteen years. It's never been done any other way, and I've worked in five different branches. I also worked for the US Postal Service back in the 80's. If there was ever an auditor reviewing timesheets, it was news to me.

Now that may be because of the way money is paid out. My timesheet is basically a time and attendance sheet, because no one cares about any accounts, client billing etc. Any hours that are incorrectly charged get corrected, and they do end of month and end of year corrections.

HOWEVER -

I *did* work for a few years for a contractor, and yes they had auditors and yes you are correct. The folks here in this agency cannot seem to get it into their heads that timesheets can be submitted and completed at the END of the pay period and get done IN ONE DAY. I tell them it can be done, because I saw it get done. They're still of the opinion that a timekeeper cannot be reasonably expected to record and enter correctly all 30-40 sheets before the end of one day - she typically takes several days to complete it. Frankly, I'm amazed it gets done at all. But even SHE has to submit it up the chain before the week's end so that it gets sent to OMB in time.