Your daughter's wedding or your retirement?

[kwillia]

Would you wreck your retirement fund to pay for your daughter's "dream" wedding?


Traditionally the bride’s family is tasked with footing the wedding bill, but the troubled economy means many families are unable to afford both their children’s nuptials and their impending retirement. For proud parents, the topic can be a difficult one to discuss, but experts say honesty is the best policy.

“I’ve seen a few cases where a bride would make all these big wedding plans and then six months later, her parents would say, ‘We know we promised you $50,000, but we can only come up with $5,000,’” says Bill Hammer, certified financial planner and vice president of wealth management at Vanderbilt Partners in Melville, N.Y. “Once deposits have been made, it's often more expensive to cancel the wedding than to go through with it, so then you have people going into debt because they didn’t discuss things ahead of time.”



Read more: http://www.foxbusiness.com/personal...my-retirement/?intcmp=obnetwork#ixzz1nc3VrIyf

 

[vraiblonde]

That's ridiculous. Statistically the marriage will end in divorce anyway, so you get to be a broke old person eating cat chow because you funded a wedding that didn't even make it to the 5-year mark.

 

[Vince]

‘We know we promised you $50,000, but we can only come up with $5,000,’” says Bill Hammer,

The two don't really relate. The amount of money it takes for a normal type middle class wedding wouldn't make or break you for retirement. If you're already retired, your kids are a lot older and should pay for their own dayum wedding. And $50,000 for a wedding is stupid.

 

[kwillia]

The two don't really relate. The amount of money it takes for a normal type middle class wedding wouldn't make or break you for retirement. If you're already retired, your kids are a lot older and should pay for their own dayum wedding.

Curious... what is your estimate of what a "normal type middle class wedding" cost today?

 

[lovinmaryland]

Curious... what is your estimate of what a "normal type middle class wedding" cost today?

His post reminded me of the scene from Father of the Bride where George is envisioning cooking hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill in the back yard

 

[dontknowwhy]

Curious... what is your estimate of what a "normal type middle class wedding" cost today?

mine was 175.00 this included the license, ceremony at the courthouse, & reception at my folks house...because her family couldn't afford bail for their son, much less to pay for a wedding...told her if it's up to me & my family to pay for it, then this is what you get....we lasted 15 years. for the record...she wasn't concerned about a big wedding & stuff...we were young & in love!!!

 

[kwillia]

mine was 175.00 this included the license, ceremony at the courthouse, & reception at my folks house...because her family couldn't afford bail for their son, much less to pay for a wedding...told her if it's up to me & my family to pay for it, then this is what you get....we lasted 15 years. for the record...she wasn't concerned about a big wedding & stuff...we were young & in love!!!

Congrats on a long happy marriage but yours wouldn't be classified as a normal middle class wedding...

 

[Chasey_Lane]

Curious... what is your estimate of what a "normal type middle class wedding" cost today?

Not anywhere near $50K.

 

[DaisyDuke]

Curious... what is your estimate of what a "normal type middle class wedding" cost today?

20K.... :shrug:

 

[ICit]

I like the idea of hot dogs and hamburgers out back... and the marriage certificate drawn up in crayon!!

 

[kwillia]

Not anywhere near $50K.

Agreed... but I am still curious as to how much folks think a typical middle class wedding cost today.

I got married in 1991. We invited 400, had 375 attend. We had massive amounts of liquor, were fully catered, had a DJ and rented Holy Angels Church hall in Avenue to house the reception... I did not go crazy on decorating... I kept it right around $5,000 total. It did help that my Aunt custom made my gown and my MIL did our wedding cake... but I don't think I'd get away with keeping it around 5k with today's prices if I did all of the above the same today.

10k reasonable for a full wedding and 375 guest?

 

[Chasey_Lane]

10k reasonable for a full wedding and 375 guest?

Yep! I'd even stretch it to go as far as $15K. I've been to a few weddings in the last few years and none of them were over $15K and the average number of attendees were around 200.

 

[BadGirl]

mine was 175.00 this included the license, ceremony at the courthouse, & reception at my folks house...because her family couldn't afford bail for their son, much less to pay for a wedding...told her if it's up to me & my family to pay for it, then this is what you get....we lasted 15 years. for the record...she wasn't concerned about a big wedding & stuff...we were young & in love!!!

This is my story, too.

Only it cost us $225, and a reception was at a local inexpensive restaurant. We didn't have the bail situation, either. We weren't young, but we were in loce (still are!). But everything else is the same.

 

[BadGirl]

Agreed... but I am still curious as to how much folks think a typical middle class wedding cost today.

I got married in 1991. We invited 400, had 375 attend. We had massive amounts of liquor, were fully catered, had a DJ and rented Holy Angels Church hall in Avenue to house the reception... I did not go crazy on decorating... I kept it right around $5,000 total. It did help that my Aunt custom made my gown and my MIL did our wedding cake... but I don't think I'd get away with keeping it around 5k with today's prices if I did all of the above the same today.

10k reasonable for a full wedding and 375 guest?

I know 375 people, but don't like them enough to invite them to a wedding and pay for their food and drinks.

 

[vraiblonde]

My last wedding cost $5000 - the cost of Larry and I flying to Negril, Jamaica, staying in an inclusive resort for a week, and gettin' hitched. Marriage lasted 13 years.

My first wedding cost $50 for the JoP. We got married in my Mom's living room with a few close friends and family attending, and she cooked the reception dinner. Marriage longevity: 9 years.

So I think I got my money's worth both times.

 

[kwillia]

This is my story, too.

Only it cost us $225, and a reception was at a local inexpensive restaurant. We didn't have the bail situation, either. We weren't young, but we were in loce (still are!). But everything else is the same.

You did have some pretty dayum hot CFM shoes on that day...

 

[BadGirl]

You did have some pretty dayum hot CFM shoes on that day...

I still walk with a limp because of me gnawing my foot off from those damn shoes. They were sooooo painful.

 

[Katt]

I've had 2 weddings in our family with our daughters costing between 15,000 and 20,000 dollars each. Modest at around 100+ guests and a wonderful church wedding and reception. You have to expect the happy couple to contribute to their day too. Gone and the days of Father of the Bride stuff. IT's all too expensive now. You have to cut back where you can and learn to barter if you have a service you can barter with. Print your own invitations (michaels kits) and we did our own fresh flower bouquets and arrangements. It's do'able and if you think ahead and include the couple's finances, it'll be manageable. After all... it's their day!

 

[kwillia]

I've had 2 weddings in our family with our daughters costing between 15,000 and 20,000 dollars each. Modest at around 100+ guests and a wonderful church wedding and reception. You have to expect the happy couple to contribute to their day too. Gone and the days of Father of the Bride stuff. IT's all too expensive now. You have to cut back where you can and learn to barter if you have a service you can barter with. Print your own invitations (michaels kits) and we did our own fresh flower bouquets and arrangements. It's do'able and if you think ahead and include the couple's finances, it'll be manageable. After all... it's their day!

Wow... you contributed over 15k and for just over 100 people and that didn't cover it all... that sounds much higher than I was thinking it should.

 

[Dakota]

We’ve been invited to more than 40 weddings (at least) over the past 20 years and we’ve attended about ½ of them. The most expensive wedding we ever attended was over in a matter of 6 months. (rumors said it was in the $60K range 15 years ago). Only a handful of the couples are married today.

I have found the more expensive the wedding… the quicker the separation/divorce comes..... at least that has been our observation.