5 Reasons Men Don't Ask You Out

[SamSpade]

Men are pains in the ass. They say they want a strong woman, but they really don't because it just highlights how weak they are. They say they want an independent woman, but that threatens their masculinity. So they get some woman who is docile and sweet, then they bitch because she's boring and cheat on her with the tatted up barmaid.

Nope. YOUR definition of what a "strong woman" is different from their version, and it's not a weird distortion.

I never wanted a woman who was utterly dependent on me for a life, for entertainment, for anything in life. And I found one - NO ONE would ever suggest my wife is anything BUT that. She's had jobs where people under her were afraid of her (which to me, knowing her well, sometimes seems funny). If I'm out of town or in any way unable to be home, there's not even the slightest chance that home will have any problems - the kids will be on time for everything, the bills will get paid and everything will be working perfectly. And while I love her very much - she won't visibly miss me very much.

I've dated women for whom my every waking moment was a constant barrage of neediness on her part, and I hated it. I don't like "weak" women and never have. They're clingy. My wife isn't docile, but she does recognize we are a partnership and doesn't recklessly make big decisions without my opinion. She also CAN be very sweet - her friends adore her. Just don't piss her off. The clincher for me - the part that made me decide, I want to marry her - was when it was clear that she very much wanted me in her life, but was ok without me. She didn't need me to keep her entertained or happy.

I have also dated women that had a different idea of "strong" - for example, I go biking on a date, and they thought nothing of racing a mile ahead of me, because I'm not THAT great a rider. Well what's the point of that? I've dated women who are smarter than me - and waste no time showing it to me at every opportunity. I know MEN like this - they are always playing the game "am I smarter than you?". I'd just as well concede the game if they would just SHUT UP.

In short - they may be "strong" but what they really are, is an *******. One woman I dated, I only wish I had cut it off on the first date, rather than wasting time on a second. She was intolerable and not at all friendly to most people.

 

[GURPS]

I never wanted a woman who was utterly dependent on me for a life, for entertainment, for anything in life.

Well said .....


My wife takes care of business, asks for assistance where needed

 

[Gilligan]

She's now working at CVS in Leonardtown. Someone close to her should tell her that the grade school level of "artwork" ought to be covered up while dealing with the public. I'm all for self expression, but there is a time and place for everything.

She's not the one with the big cursive "No Regerts" tatooed across her neck?

 

[Gilligan]

Well said .....


My wife takes care of business, asks for assistance where needed

Same here.

 

[Grumpy]

She's not the one with the big cursive "No Regerts" tatooed across her neck?

No, she's the one with "No Ragrets" across her upper back.

 

[GregV814]

Not one you'd bring home to your Mother...or wife....

 

[PrchJrkr]

She's not the one with the big cursive "No Regerts" tatooed across her neck?

No, just stenciled outlines of misshapen objects that seem to be placed with no rhyme or reason. Like the kind of tats that someone learns how to do while spending time in jail. "Gimme a sewing needle, half a dozen Bic pens, and a fifth of Popov. I can give you a tat just like those guys on TV."

 

[Gilligan]

No, just stenciled outlines of misshapen objects that seem to be placed with no rhyme or reason. Like the kind of tats that someone learns how to do while spending time in jail. "Gimme a sewing needle, half a dozen Bic pens, and a fifth of Popov. I can give you a tat just like those guys on TV."

I always liked this one...some mad skillz here...

 

[phreddyp]

Another is "two heads are better than one"

I already have two heads, don't need a third!

 

[Grumpy]

View attachment 168080

Not one you'd bring home to your Mother...or wife....

Rick James approves this post

 

[DoWhat]

I just got back from getting a pedicure with my wife.
I then went next door to the bar for a beer while they finished her nail polish.
The tech was very careful with my black and blue toe.

 

[vraiblonde]

I have also dated women that had a different idea of "strong" - for example, I go biking on a date, and they thought nothing of racing a mile ahead of me, because I'm not THAT great a rider. Well what's the point of that? I've dated women who are smarter than me - and waste no time showing it to me at every opportunity.

See, that's not strong though - it's rude. You can be strong without being rude. But for real, sometimes it's fun to show up some guy who thinks he's all that but isn't really. Like, if I were on a biking date I'd stay with him even if I were Kristin Armstrong or something. But if he was a patronizing douche I'd try hard to smoke his ass.

 

[Bann]

I'm a strong woman, because I've had to be. I raised my 2 boys pretty much alone their whole lives because their dad was in the Navy for the 15 years we were married and then I got divorced and raised them alone. (he agreed to that arrangement and chose to be an absentee father living 600 miles away)

However, I'm never going to diminish myself or my personality to make some guy feel better about himself. That article is stupid, anyway. Any man who is intimidated by me is weak, and I don't want to be with a weak-minded, weak-willed man. Physical strength is one thing, and I have no problem with not being the strongest one. Emotional strength is much stronger than physical strength and I've always been the stronger one emotionally. I've always said I wear my heart on my sleeve, and that's true, but that doesn't make me weak. It's actually a strength that not a lot of people have.

The article doesn't even begin to touch the surface. It's a shallow and weak piece IMO.

And P.S. - I could write one entitled "40 Reasons Why Women Won't Go Out With You"

 

[PeoplesElbow]

Big boobs and putting out will get tons of dates.

 

[Sneakers]

Big boobs and putting out will get tons of dates.

I tried that. Didn't work.

 

[SamSpade]

I'm a fan of each party contributing what they're good at, regardless of gender. There's no "shouldn't" when it comes to gender roles. Here in the modern age there can be two captains in a relationship. Co-captains.

Anyway, these whiny "Why men/women don't want you" articles irritate me. They're written by a single person who thinks they're every man/woman in the world and speak for all.

This is off on another note, but this is what I've gleaned from Hispanic households I know or spoken a lot with (e.g. my brother who married a woman from Colombia) and Russian households. And that is a CLEAR distinction between roles that - in their culture - should NEVER be abrogated. Period. As in, household chores and children are a woman's job. Period.

Well that just doesn't and did not work in our household, where both have careers. I probably changed more than a thousand diapers, wiped a thousand bottoms and gave as many baths. Even now that all of my kids are teenagers, I still have to do their chores when they are camping or staying over at a friends. Why? Because I'm a grownup, and when a job needs to be done, I do it.

But you know what? I know men who would REFUSE TO DO SUCH THINGS. They would either let it hang undone, or find a female relative - or MOM - to do it for them.

I remember once my sister-in-law was visiting during the holidays and I was cleaning up Christmas dinner. She came in and said, see, this is what I like about American men - they don't have a problem with doing this. Well who did it in your house when Mom wasn't there. Oh we had maids. What about the maid's house? Sometimes THEY have maids, too. Most households have them. That's crazy - it makes more sense to just do it yourself. Nope. Men WON'T do it. I have a VERY good Hispanic friend who has never changed his kid's diapers. Ever. Never will.

We try to strike balance in our relationship - I did the Christmas dishes because my wife far exceeds my ability to keep guests entertained - and she spent Christmas DAY cooking it. Me doing the dishes is FAIR.

 

[SamSpade]

See, that's not strong though - it's rude. You can be strong without being rude.

To you and me. If it were a TV movie or an article about relationships, it'd be the very soul of a "strong woman" - proving she's better. If the roles were REVERSED, it would be shown without question that it's a dick move for a guy to do.

And with the same result. "Thanks, it's been nice, but don't call".

 

[SamSpade]

Ok, after having READ the relevant article - she does actually make some good points, and a click to her link shows the author isn't just some disgruntled single who thinks they're an authority but is in fact, accomplished at doing exactly what the article talks about - helping women over 40 find dates and a relationship. Maybe she has weird ideas, but it's unlikely she'd be able to do this for a living without SOME degree of success.

I do agree she is spot on with number 5. Before I met my wife, I very briefly dated two women who couldn't talk about anything without letting it known they distrusted men, they'd been burned by men, they hated men - and no matter where I went with the conversation - it seemed clear enough that *I* was going to be another statistic of men she decided to dislike. When one invited me inside at the end, I crafted an excuse about work and headed home.

 

[Bann]

This is off on another note, but this is what I've gleaned from Hispanic households I know or spoken a lot with (e.g. my brother who married a woman from Colombia) and Russian households. And that is a CLEAR distinction between roles that - in their culture - should NEVER be abrogated. Period. As in, household chores and children are a woman's job. Period.

Well that just doesn't and did not work in our household, where both have careers. I probably changed more than a thousand diapers, wiped a thousand bottoms and gave as many baths. Even now that all of my kids are teenagers, I still have to do their chores when they are camping or staying over at a friends. Why? Because I'm a grownup, and when a job needs to be done, I do it.

But you know what? I know men who would REFUSE TO DO SUCH THINGS. They would either let it hang undone, or find a female relative - or MOM - to do it for them.

I remember once my sister-in-law was visiting during the holidays and I was cleaning up Christmas dinner. She came in and said, see, this is what I like about American men - they don't have a problem with doing this. Well who did it in your house when Mom wasn't there. Oh we had maids. What about the maid's house? Sometimes THEY have maids, too. Most households have them. That's crazy - it makes more sense to just do it yourself. Nope. Men WON'T do it. I have a VERY good Hispanic friend who has never changed his kid's diapers. Ever. Never will.

We try to strike balance in our relationship - I did the Christmas dishes because my wife far exceeds my ability to keep guests entertained - and she spent Christmas DAY cooking it. Me doing the dishes is FAIR.

That's part of his entire being - not just "woman's work" or "mans work". This is why I would probably never date a hispanic man (or any man like that.) Thankfully, I know more than a few who live in their own houses and take care of the whole house themselves, including meals, dishes (no dishwasher, even!) shopping, etc. Because, a you said - they're grownups.

 

[Bann]

Ok, after having READ the relevant article - she does actually make some good points, and a click to her link shows the author isn't just some disgruntled single who thinks they're an authority but is in fact, accomplished at doing exactly what the article talks about - helping women over 40 find dates and a relationship. Maybe she has weird ideas, but it's unlikely she'd be able to do this for a living without SOME degree of success.

I do agree she is spot on with number 5. Before I met my wife, I very briefly dated two women who couldn't talk about anything without letting it known they distrusted men, they'd been burned by men, they hated men - and no matter where I went with the conversation - it seemed clear enough that *I* was going to be another statistic of men she decided to dislike. When one invited me inside at the end, I crafted an excuse about work and headed home.

"If you don't heal what hurt you, you'll end up bleeding on those who didn't cut you".

There are plenty O' mens out there with this same syndrome as you describe with distrust and dislike of womens, too. All of these people cannot get past their past. Sometimes, they just WON'T. Almost without exception EVERYONE has a past they need to get over. It often will require the person to also take a look inside themselves and find out WHY they keep picking that type of person. THAT is where the hard work comes in. You need to heal yourself before going out there and try to meet others. Mentally healthy people don't act out on each other like this. UNhealthy people do.

/off soapbox