5 Reasons Men Don't Ask You Out

[SamSpade]

Because, a you said - they're grownups.

Something I am trying to teach my children, with only small success - if you see a job needing to be done, just do it. My youngest wants to do chores to the very letter of the law - if you ask her to sweep the floor upstairs, she has no intention of sweeping the stairs - it's someone ELSE'S job. My oldest is similar, but part of it is his disability - he does what he believes is EXACTLY as you ask (this may be in part because when he does things on his own without mentioning it to us, it's often disastrous - we've discouraged him unwittingly, because he screws that up a lot).

My middle one seems to "get it". Hence, she does her chores and responsibilities without being asked. Youngest doesn't want to do stuff like that - but to my SURPRISE, she will often do MY chores because I couldn't do them (had to leave for something, or got called away). But only yesterday, when I was putting dishes away, she said "that's (her sister) job - why are you doing it?". "Because she's at a friend's house and won't be back until this afternoon - and I am not waiting." She's getting the idea, slowly. She IS the only one of my kids who always does her homework on time, even though she's not the best student.

 

[SamSpade]

There are plenty O' mens out there with this same syndrome as you describe with distrust and dislike of womens, too.

I probably blew a couple very promising relationships because I couldn't shut up about the last one. Fortunately, I had a few very good female friends who told me early on, shut up about the old relationship, they don't care if it makes you "relatable", they don't want to hear about it.

 

[Bann]

I probably blew a couple very promising relationships because I couldn't shut up about the last one. Fortunately, I had a few very good female friends who told me early on, shut up about the old relationship, they don't care if it makes you "relatable", they don't want to hear about it.

it sounds like pyscho babble, but there really are a lot of mentally "unhealed" people out there. I'm not just talking about the dating world - but I've seen it in meeting new acquaintances that are female, too.

I had that happen this past summer and fall where one gal who has a drinking AND gambling problem started acting out her sh*t on me. In the beginning of this period I was like "WTF" I didn't do anything to her to warrant that treatment. Then I realized Oh, she thinks I'm someone she's going to be able to continuously treat like crap because of her misery. UH, NOPE. I nipped it in the bud with the explanation that you can't treat me like that and call yourself a friend. She got one more chance to get it and then I dumped that bitch. Life's too short - don't treat me like sh*t or you're gone. I don't need projects to work on, either.

 

[GregV814]

well after all was said and little was done, I'm even more confused. I thought Sneakers was a guy.

So, ahhh nevermind.

 

[vraiblonde]

I probably blew a couple very promising relationships because I couldn't shut up about the last one. Fortunately, I had a few very good female friends who told me early on, shut up about the old relationship, they don't care if it makes you "relatable", they don't want to hear about it.

See, I'm nosy AF and wanted to hear about it. A guy talking about his past relationships is revealing his real self so I don't have to spend time finding it out on my own. I'm a natural listener with a genuine interest and people end up telling me the damnedest things. I think that's why so many people get nasty relationship surprises down the road - they didn't listen in the beginning.

So perhaps you didn't blow dates by talking about old girlfriends, it's just that the woman didn't like what she heard. And that's okay - not every ass fits every seat.

 

[Sneakers]

well after all was said and little was done, I'm even more confused. I thought Sneakers was a guy.

So, ahhh nevermind.

Yeah, sorry. The boobs and beard make it a little confusing.

 

[Kyle]

Yeah, sorry. The boobs and beard make it a little confusing.

That seems to be a common White House problem these days.

 

[Kyle]

Better first date exam would be to snoop in the medicine cabinet.

 

[SamSpade]

See, I'm nosy AF and wanted to hear about it. A guy talking about his past relationships is revealing his real self so I don't have to spend time finding it out on my own. I'm a natural listener with a genuine interest and people end up telling me the damnedest things. I think that's why so many people get nasty relationship surprises down the road - they didn't listen in the beginning.

So perhaps you didn't blow dates by talking about old girlfriends, it's just that the woman didn't like what she heard. And that's okay - not every ass fits every seat.

I remember one of those two actually TOLD me that - that "it seems you're still hung up on your old girlfriend" and she just didn't want any of that.

Actually, that reminds me of a woman I used to know in my old church - we weren't really friends or anything, but she was constantly comparing me to her ex-husband. Kinda creeped me out a lot.

 

[Kyle]

Reminds me of a guy being read the riot act by his wife, who said to her "you're starting to sound like my Ex!"

She said, "You were never married before!"

He replied, "I know."

 

[GregV814]

Yeah, sorry. The boobs and beard make it a little confusing.

well, in 5th grade Sharon Harv**, had a moustach and could do more pull ups than most boys....she could spit pretty far too...

 

[PeoplesElbow]

well, in 5th grade Sharon Harv**, had a moustach and could do more pull ups than most boys....she could spit pretty far too...

Italian girl?

 

[stgislander]

Italian girl?

Corn fed farm girl.

 

[PeoplesElbow]

Corn fed farm girl.

Ah, one of the most beautiful women I've ever known was an Italian girl that had quite the stache by the time she was 13, she discovered waxing and today at almost 50 she is still a knockout.

 

[Kyle]

 

[BernieP]

Men are pains in the ass. They say they want a strong woman, but they really don't because it just highlights how weak they are. They say they want an independent woman, but that threatens their masculinity. So they get some woman who is docile and sweet, then they bitch because she's boring and cheat on her with the tatted up barmaid.

Doesn't matter what my preferences are, I'm not going to a chance except for the person that wants a caregiver / income.
aka a sucker, because that word is tattoed on my fat face.
Definitely not getting someone with an open mind, intelligent, sense of humor

 

[BernieP]

I'm a strong woman, because I've had to be. I raised my 2 boys pretty much alone their whole lives because their dad was in the Navy for the 15 years we were married and then I got divorced and raised them alone. (he agreed to that arrangement and chose to be an absentee father living 600 miles away)

However, I'm never going to diminish myself or my personality to make some guy feel better about himself. That article is stupid, anyway. Any man who is intimidated by me is weak, and I don't want to be with a weak-minded, weak-willed man. Physical strength is one thing, and I have no problem with not being the strongest one. Emotional strength is much stronger than physical strength and I've always been the stronger one emotionally. I've always said I wear my heart on my sleeve, and that's true, but that doesn't make me weak. It's actually a strength that not a lot of people have.

The article doesn't even begin to touch the surface. It's a shallow and weak piece IMO.

And P.S. - I could write one entitled "40 Reasons Why Women Won't Go Out With You"

I don't want to be around people who are going to not challenge my intellect, it's fun.
I think I could say I look for the same things in a woman that I would look for in any friend.
With a few exceptions.

I also know why I won't meet that woman, won't date. I B UG LEE - I don't cut it in the good looking department.
Friends say, "Let them get to know you" But the same friends say they wouldn't date me because there is no "physical" attraction.

Except for psychopaths, narcissists, needy or just generally desperate for a meal ticket.

 

[Bann]

Doesn't matter what my preferences are, I'm not going to a chance except for the person that wants a caregiver / income.
aka a sucker, because that word is tattoed on my fat face.
Definitely not getting someone with an open mind, intelligent, sense of humor

Not with that attitude, you won't!



(with all due respect)

 

[vraiblonde]

I don't want to be around people who are going to not challenge my intellect, it's fun.
I think I could say I look for the same things in a woman that I would look for in any friend.
With a few exceptions.

I also know why I won't meet that woman, won't date. I B UG LEE - I don't cut it in the good looking department.
Friends say, "Let them get to know you" But the same friends say they wouldn't date me because there is no "physical" attraction.

Except for psychopaths, narcissists, needy or just generally desperate for a meal ticket.

I'ma tell you right now, it's not your looks. You see some really unfortunate looking people and they have a spouse and seem as happy as any other married person.

Self-confidence goes a long way so learn how to fake that and you'll be fighting off women with a stick.

 

[PrchJrkr]

I'ma tell you right now, it's not your looks. You see some really unfortunate looking people and they have a spouse and seem as happy as any other married person.

Self-confidence goes a long way so learn how to fake that and you'll be fighting off women with a stick.

That's what I do! Have to fight them off with a stick, I do!