Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
So… I wasn’t going to tell this story because, well, it is embarrassing and makes me look like a bad driver.
But, I digress.
I was at Sheetz the other day… and for those of you that don’t know me, I have a crippling fear of gas stations. I always feel like I am in everyone’s way and I feel like I take too long pumping gas.
I was at one of the pumps and it was raining its ASS OFF outside.
All the pumps were full so people were starting to line up behind other cars. Well… Some guy in a Smart Car decides to get behind me. At this point, I have only pumped $5.62 worth of gas but I just can’t stand the fact that I am inconveniencing someone and making them wait for the pump so I decide that’s enough gas for now…. I’ll just wait behind someone else at another pump and get gas there.
I wait for five minutes while a woman fills up her mini-van. THEN… It’s my turn. I pull up to the pump and start filling my tank with more gas. Until a guy in a HUGE JEEP pulls up behind me. I have only pumped $3.00 worth of gas at this point but, again, I just can’t make this guy wait.
I get in the car completely frazzled, nervous, and upset that I have been at this gas station for 20 minutes and have only managed to get $8.62 worth of gas.
I’m all, “WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS!!”
This is where the problem started.
In mid panic, I didn’t realize I put my car in reverse, not drive. I noticed I was starting to go backward and panicked. But, instead of hitting the brake, I hit the ****ING ACCELERATOR and smashed into the raised Jeep.
His vehicle wasn’t damaged at all because he had some sort of bar going across the front… but my car… my car is RUINED.
He gets out and tells me to stop crying and that it’s okay… He even gave me a hug to calm me down. I was so relieved that he was not angry because this was a NIGHTMARE for me.
We exchange insurance information and I plan to leave now…. He calls me back over and asks me to dinner. Apparently, I was full-on damsel-in-distress and some weird men find that attractive
I politely decline and his mood shifts.
He walks away with, “Learn to ****ing drive, lady.”
Now my car is in the shop, I’m in a rental car, and I need gas.
SOMEONE PLEASE JUST KILL ME NOW.
( Dumb guy)