Any single parents finding it hard to date

[RoseRed]

 

[aps45819]

Pot.

I got snipped to prevent that

 

[RoseRed]

I got snipped to prevent that

Was that after your late in life son?

 

[Chasey_Lane]

Undecided, but probably not.

Would you still be dating him if he had 1 or multiple children?

 

[RoseRed]

Would you still be dating him if he had 1 or multiple children?

Hard to say. I don't have much experience dating men with children. :shrug:

 

[julz20684]

My ex was in the picture and he never gave me a problem. His wife was a loon and I'd have preferred not dealing with her, but he was about the best ex-husband anyone could ask for. That's why I wasn't interested in someone else's bebe mama drama.

Good for you and you are lucky in that respect. In a perfect world my children would have their father in their lives, drama/drug/ignorance free.

 

[aps45819]

Was that after your late in life son?

He turns 18 the day before I turn 65. I thought the snip-snip was a better option than using my SS to pay child support.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

Hard to say. I don't have much experience dating men with children. :shrug:

I told day that I would have possibly dated him if he had 2 kids, but anymore and no way!

 

[RoseRed]

I told day that I would have possibly dated him if he had 2 kids, but anymore and no way!

I can understand that.

 

[Chain729]

I will give you my opinion on custodial fathers and why they have a hard time dating:

(Keeping in mind that I'm actually married to a custodial father and this same rule applies)

If the father has custody, it's because the mother is a nut. Unless the mother is dead, which brings its own issues into the mix. But dealing with a nutty non-custodial mother is NO fun. They typically have substance abuse issues, or a guilt complex, or both. It's the smart girl that stays out of that situation until the kids are grown and interaction with their mother will be almost nil.

Because, like it or not, you're a packaged deal. With the kids, of course, but also with their mother. And all involved can *say* it won't be a problem, but believe me it WILL be a problem.

That's just crazy talk. That's never the case.

 

[Radiant1]

Again Vrai you hit the proverbial nail on the head.

I will give you my opinion on custodial fathers and why they have a hard time dating:

(Keeping in mind that I'm actually married to a custodial father and this same rule applies)

If the father has custody, it's because the mother is a nut. Unless the mother is dead, which brings its own issues into the mix. But dealing with a nutty non-custodial mother is NO fun. They typically have substance abuse issues, or a guilt complex, or both. It's the smart girl that stays out of that situation until the kids are grown and interaction with their mother will be almost nil.

I heretofore thought I was exceptionally smart, but apparently

Because, like it or not, you're a packaged deal. With the kids, of course, but also with their mother. And all involved can *say* it won't be a problem, but believe me it WILL be a problem.

Sometimes a HUGE problem. Personally, I'm finding that not only do you have to deal with the nutty ex calling you names due to jealousy and the "that biotch better not be near my child" crap but then you also have to deal with the man your seeing constantly complaining about the nutty ex and then some more and again more until your ears bleed and you want to .

Poor single fathers and poor stupid women who try to date them. So sad.

 

[Chain729]

Again Vrai you hit the proverbial nail on the head.


I heretofore thought I was exceptionally smart, but apparently



Sometimes a HUGE problem. Personally, I'm finding that not only do you have to deal with the nutty ex calling you names due to jealousy and the "that biotch better not be near my child" crap but then you also have to deal with the man your seeing constantly complaining about the nutty ex and then some more and again more until your ears bleed and you want to .

Poor single fathers and poor stupid women who try to date them. So sad.

Single mothers with nutty ex's do the same crap.

People vent. People vent to those who are close to them. But, like all crap, two things are true: 1. It doesn't stink forever and 2. It's the bi-product of feeding an animal. Stop feeding it, it stops crapping.

Point is, taking on someone else, you get to take on their ups and downs as well. Unless, they're a complete f*** up that keeps causing or allowing their world to explode, the dust will settle eventually. If you meet them post-explosion, in a down cycle, you have three options: wait for the dust to clear, deal with the fall out until it does, or move on. None of the above happens to be fun or exciting.

 

[Radiant1]

Single mothers with nutty ex's do the same crap.

True, but that's not often the case. Refer back to Vrai's statement, as we were discussing single fathers. I also think that since historically women are usually the custodial parent they don't deal with it as easily when they find themselves the non-custodial parent.

People vent. People vent to those who are close to them. But, like all crap, two things are true: 1. It doesn't stink forever and 2. It's the bi-product of feeding an animal. Stop feeding it, it stops crapping.

I think in my case the neighbor is feeding the animal and I'm left to pick up the crap.

Point is, taking on someone else, you get to take on their ups and downs as well. Unless, they're a complete f*** up that keeps causing or allowing their world to explode, the dust will settle eventually. If you meet them post-explosion, in a down cycle, you have three options: wait for the dust to clear, deal with the fall out until it does, or move on. None of the above happens to be fun or exciting.

True. So, in your opinion is one who waits or deals exceptional or stupid?

 

[Chain729]

True, but that's not often the case. Refer back to Vrai's statement, as we were discussing single fathers. I also think that since historically women are usually the custodial parent they don't deal with it as easily when they find themselves the non-custodial parent.

Maybe they don't find it easy, but regardless of how the law is written, I've never seen a father get custody when she wasn't already a nut-job. Unfortunately, psycho women- at least in the way that makes the ex's life hell, out-number psycho men by a lot. I don't recall the actual statistics, but with that particular disorder, that's the way it goes.

I think in my case the neighbor is feeding the animal and I'm left to pick up the crap.

There's a difference between feeding the animal and dealing with it. Unfortunately, sometimes dealing with it means feeding it poison laced food. It's nutritious today, but kills it tommorrow. Also, unfortunately, animals don't have a shortage of finding someone external to the problem to give them food. Eventually, those strangers will get tired of the animal, but there's no shortage of feeders and it can take awhile before that supply is exhausted.

True. So, in your opinion is one who waits or deals exceptional or stupid?

That's entirely situationally dependant. If your beau is feeding the fire, rather than letting it die or smothing it, you're a fool or you just like drama. If your beau is doing what they ought, you either have the patience of a saint, or you just like drama.

 

[Radiant1]

That's entirely situationally dependant. If your beau is feeding the fire, rather than letting it die or smothing it, you're a fool or you just like drama. If your beau is doing what they ought, you either have the patience of a saint, or you just like drama.

Of course I'd much rather think of myself as having the patience of a saint than liking the drama!

I'm a sucker for a sexy single dad with a nutty ex!

Somebody slap me please!

 

[baileydog]

Most women over 40 do not want men with responsibilities /children because they are done raising their children and are looking for someone that is the same. They're looking for someone that can travel, etc. without having to deal with the responsibilities. Nothing to tie them down.

Well said, Vince.

 

[Vince]

I'm a sucker for a sexy single dad with a nutty ex!

Somebody slap me please!

 

[baileydog]

I've dated women with and without kids, and I can honestly say I prefer the ones who put out :shrug:

 

[Pete]

Again Vrai you hit the proverbial nail on the head.


I heretofore thought I was exceptionally smart, but apparently



Sometimes a HUGE problem. Personally, I'm finding that not only do you have to deal with the nutty ex calling you names due to jealousy and the "that biotch better not be near my child" crap but then you also have to deal with the man your seeing constantly complaining about the nutty ex and then some more : and again more until your ears bleed and you want to .

Poor single fathers and poor stupid women who try to date them. So sad.

I felt pretty good about myself before I read this................and I still do because Boy and I are so freaking spectacular it offsets any negative vibes from my nutty ex, 100 fold.

<----------Boy ...... Me -------->

 

[dems4me]

I felt pretty good about myself before I read this................and I still do because Boy and I are so freaking spectacular it offsets any negative vibes from my nutty ex., 100 fold

<----------Boy ...... Me -------->