Any single parents finding it hard to date

[vraiblonde]

I don't like the idea of bringing guys around my daughter until I am sure its going to be long term.

I don't understand this philosophy. My kids met practically everyone I ever dated, no matter how casual it was. It's not like I sat and sucked face with them or introduced them to my kids as "your new Daddy". They met new people all the time who they may or may not ever see again - I didn't think "dates" should be any different.

Plus most of the time my kids knew the guy before I ever started dating him in the first place, from social events or whatever.

 

[vraiblonde]

Thank you for the defense!

Are you custodial or an every other weekender?

 

[wkndbeacher]

Are you custodial or an every other weekender?

custodial

 

[jetmonkey]

I've dated women with and without kids, and I can honestly say I prefer the ones who put out :shrug:

 

[Lugnut]

I've dated women with and without kids, and I can honestly say I prefer the ones who put out :shrug:

 

[pixiegirl]

I'm staying far away from this thread.....

 

[Lugnut]

I'm staying far away from this thread.....

That's even FUNNIER!

 

[julz20684]

I'm staying far away from this thread.....

:sniggle:

 

[onebdzee]

Most women over 40 do not want men with responsibilities /children because they are done raising their children and are looking for someone that is the same. They're looking for someone that can travel, etc. without having to deal with the responsibilities. Nothing to tie them down.

I happen to be a woman over 40 and, like most of the woman that I know, am far from being done raising kids

 

[Vince]

I happen to be a woman over 40 and, like most of the woman that I know, am far from being done raising kids

I'm taking my sign and leaving.

 

[vraiblonde]

custodial

I will give you my opinion on custodial fathers and why they have a hard time dating:

(Keeping in mind that I'm actually married to a custodial father and this same rule applies)

If the father has custody, it's because the mother is a nut. Unless the mother is dead, which brings its own issues into the mix. But dealing with a nutty non-custodial mother is NO fun. They typically have substance abuse issues, or a guilt complex, or both. It's the smart girl that stays out of that situation until the kids are grown and interaction with their mother will be almost nil.

Because, like it or not, you're a packaged deal. With the kids, of course, but also with their mother. And all involved can *say* it won't be a problem, but believe me it WILL be a problem.

 

[Chasey_Lane]

I am currently dating a guy without kids.

Do you want more children?

 

[wkndbeacher]

I'm taking my sign and leaving.

 

[aps45819]

I don't understand this philosophy. My kids met practically everyone I ever dated, no matter how casual it was. It's not like I sat and sucked face with them or introduced them to my kids as "your new Daddy". They met new people all the time who they may or may not ever see again - I didn't think "dates" should be any different.

Plus most of the time my kids knew the guy before I ever started dating him in the first place, from social events or whatever.

I've taken my boy to bike club events and dinners and other events with "friends".
I like to give them the Bon Buffett test. The boy loves to eat there, he can pick and choose what he eats and we'll sometimes be joined by a friend. If they can put up with eating there, they're not put off by my parental responsibilities.

 

[julz20684]

I will give you my opinion on custodial fathers and why they have a hard time dating:

(Keeping in mind that I'm actually married to a custodial father and this same rule applies)

If the father has custody, it's because the mother is a nut. Unless the mother is dead, which brings its own issues into the mix. But dealing with a nutty non-custodial mother is NO fun. They typically have substance abuse issues, or a guilt complex, or both. It's the smart girl that stays out of that situation until the kids are grown and interaction with their mother will be almost nil.

Because, like it or not, you're a packaged deal. With the kids, of course, but also with their mother. And all involved can *say* it won't be a problem, but believe me it WILL be a problem.

I whole heartedly agree with you on this Vrai. My sister has been dating a man for the past three years, he is a widow and living with her ghost is just as hard as it is dealing with an ex-WHACKO.

Since my ex is not in the picture I don't have the drama that comes with someone else having to deal with his drama/issues, so sometimes it is hard for me to *get* dealing with someone else's ex drama/issues/schedules/etc.

 

[RoseRed]

Do you want more children?

Undecided, but probably not.

 

[vraiblonde]

Since my ex is not in the picture I don't have the drama that comes with someone else having to deal with his drama/issues, so sometimes it is hard for me to *get* dealing with someone else's ex drama/issues/schedules/etc.

My ex was in the picture and he never gave me a problem. His wife was a loon and I'd have preferred not dealing with her, but he was about the best ex-husband anyone could ask for. That's why I wasn't interested in someone else's bebe mama drama.

 

[aps45819]

Undecided, but probably not.

aren't you a little old to be having babies?

 

[RoseRed]

aren't you a little old to be having babies?

Pot.

 

[mainman]

aren't you a little old to be having babies?