Bachelor Parties

[Toxick]

Laura asked him, "Would you still feel that way if your wife were out giving lapdances?"

...

What say you all?

Lemme preface by saying that I just got here, and I haven't even gotten through page 1 of this tread, and by now the discussion could have drifted way far afield by now... But I'm gonna answer anyway.



What I say is that the inquiry quoted above is flawed.


The real question is not whether he would feel the same if his wife was giving lap dances.

The real question is if he would feel the same way if his wife went to a chippendale club (or whatever male revue thing is en vogue today) and got lap dances (or equivalent) from the dudes.


There are several orders of magnitude of difference between giving lap dances to every Tom, Dick, and Harry for the duration of an evening, and letting some skank grind on you for a minute or two.

 

[Larry Gude]

Tox...

The real question is if he would feel the same way if his wife went to a chippendale club (or whatever male revue thing is en vogue today) and got lap dances (or equivalent) from the dudes.

...get's it. He understands.

 

[vraiblonde]

There are several orders of magnitude of difference between giving lap dances to every Tom, Dick, and Harry for the duration of an evening, and letting some skank grind on you for a minute or two.

Explain the difference, please, because I still don't get it.

What if she only gives one guy a lapdance instead of the whole room? Is it okay then?

 

[Toxick]

Explain the difference, please, because I still don't get it.

If you don't get it, then you're not going to get it.


I can't explain it any better than I did. You're trying to compare apples and oranges and you're justifying this logical fallacy by saying that the oranges ARE apples.


Me, I wouldn't mind if my wife went to the Hogz 'n' Ballz Club, and had herself a good old time. I WOULD mind, however, if she came home and said, "Hey honey, I got a job at Juggz R us!"

If you can't see the difference then there's nothing I can say to explain it.




(I'm in conference all day with sporadic breaks... so I'm disappearing again for a while, and I'll check back later)

 

[vraiblonde]

Me, I wouldn't mind if my wife went to the Hogz 'n' Ballz Club, and had herself a good old time. I WOULD mind, however, if she came home and said, "Hey honey, I got a job at Juggz R us!"

I don't know what Hogz 'n' Ballz is.

It's just a simple question - why is it okay for you to have some chickie rubbing all over you, but not okay for your chickie to rub all over someone else?

I'm not talking about her becoming a professional stripper or even lapdancing 20 guys. I'm just talking about one guy for one night, in a private room on a couch.

 

[unixpirate]

I've just made an appointment with my therapist.

 

[Toxick]

I don't know what Hogz 'n' Ballz is.

It's the male strip club right down the street from Juggz R us.

It's just a simple question - why is it okay for you to have some chickie rubbing all over you, but not okay for your chickie to rub all over someone else?

Why is it OK to watch Friday the 13th, but it's not OK to go around chopping people into liverwurst.


You and Dr. Laura are comparing apples and oranges. You have been since the beginning. Until you acknowledge that fact, there is no way this conversation is going to go anywhere.

 

[crabcake]

Vrai -- Tox is saying that there is a difference between giving and getting, and (if I understand him right) that "getting" isn't as bad as "giving", and that's the example you and Laura cite; not one man and one woman who both received the lap dances.

Tox -- I think Vrai is saying "SoTFWhat? :shrug: Either way, it's a lewd sexual act either way regardless of who gives/gets it."

My take, there is a difference, but only so far in that: one is doing it for a living (I presume) to put food on the table/pay tuition/whatever and not all these chics are the sleazebags in their home life they portray on stage from what I understand ... the other is there DELIBERATELY to receive the act, which I think is actually worse than giving it. It's not like the dude is walking down the street, stops to tie his shoe, and Linda Lovelace pops out of a dark alley to give him a lap dance against his will. :shrug: He was there knowing full well (or that it was damn likely) he'd get oozed on by the stranger.

 

[vraiblonde]

Tox -- I think Vrai is saying "SoTFWhat? :shrug: Either way, it's a lewd sexual act either way regardless of who gives/gets it."

Thank you. But I'm not talking about a professional woman here - normal bride-to-be. Gets hammered and decides to strip down to panties and a bra and give a lapdance to some guy at the bar where she and her pals are bachelorette partying.

Would you men who are saying "apples and oranges", if you were her husband-to-be, have a problem with this? And would you be upset if her girlfriends were giving her money and encouraging her?

 

[crabcake]

Would you men who are saying "apples and oranges", if you were her husband-to-be, have a problem with this? And would you be upset if her girlfriends were giving her money and encouraging her?

The husband to be should be upset alright ... the dudes she's dancing for should be paying her; not the friends who took her there, unless of course, she's dancing for them, in which case he'd still be pissed cuz he didn't get to watch.

 

[kwillia]

Thank you. But I'm not talking about a professional woman here - normal bride-to-be. Gets hammered and decides to strip down to panties and a bra and give a lapdance to some guy at the bar where she and her pals are bachelorette partying.

Would you men who are saying "apples and oranges", if you were her husband-to-be, have a problem with this? And would you be upset if her girlfriends were giving her money and encouraging her?

I had no idea you were at that PFGal chick's bachlorette party...

 

[Toxick]

Would you men who are saying "apples and oranges", if you were her husband-to-be, have a problem with this?

I would have a problem with this. I'd have a big time problem with it.

Is this a double standard?

Nope.


Why?

Because what I would NOT have a problem with is if her girlfriends hired a stripper for her bachelorette party. (Unless his thing ended up in one of her openings... but as I understand it, that's not an issue that's currently on the table.)

The comparison between *hiring* a stripper and *being* a stripper is tenuous at best, and it's a lame-ass appeal to an emotional reaction, and furthermore it's a diversion from the real issue.

You have a problem with hiring strippers: that's fine by me - I can dig that. But don't sit there and tell me that there's a double standard unless the situations sited are the same things.

And the situations you present are not even close to being the same.


I again site: Why is it OK to watch Horror movies, but it's not OK to kill people?

 

[kwillia]

I again site: Why is it OK to watch Horror movies, but it's not OK to kill people?

Oh puleeease, you wanna talk about mixing apples and oranges... No one ever said she commited the act of 'sex' so let's not compare this situation to the act of 'murder'. So, you are saying it's okay to pick up a butcher's knife and wave it in someone's face, stab at them as if they were gonna get it, but not quite make contact, moaning and saying thinks like, "You know you want me to kill you" "You wanna die"... After all, it's not really murder, it's just simulated murder...

 

[mAlice]

You have a problem with hiring strippers: that's fine by me - I can dig that. But don't sit there and tell me that there's a double standard unless the situations sited are the same things.

Toxick, I understand what you're saying. The horror movie/murder thing didn't help your argument, though.

 

[Nickel]

I again site: Why is it OK to watch Horror movies, but it's not OK to kill people?

That's a stupid analogy. That would be like saying "It's okay to have sex simulated on your lap, but it's not ok to go out and actually have sex with the stripper." Your analogy should read, in this context, "It's ok to watch horror movies, but not ok to go out and make them".

 

[Dougstermd]

Thank you. But I'm not talking about a professional woman here - normal bride-to-be. Gets hammered and decides to strip down to panties and a bra and give a lapdance to some guy at the bar where she and her pals are bachelorette partying.

It would be fine if I get to watch

 

[crabcake]

The husband to be should be upset alright ... the dudes she's dancing for should be paying her; not the friends who took her there, unless of course, she's dancing for them, in which case he'd still be pissed cuz he didn't get to watch.

It would be fine if I get to watch

I rest my case!

 

[Wickedwrench]

I rest my case!

This means I can watch next time right?

 

[crabcake]

This means I can watch next time right?

Watch? I'd hope you'd participate.

 

[vraiblonde]

I again site: Why is it OK to watch Horror movies, but it's not OK to kill people?

Ummm...because one is a movie and the other is real life? Because one is against the law and the other is not?