Bad Words

[lovinmaryland]

AN, I'd say that you know what works with your kid so go with what works. N usually takes a scolding pretty well and shapes up whatever bad behavior he's doing at the moment. Baby G could care less if you yelled at him all day long, took things away or beat his ass; his big deal is isolation. God forbid I put him in his room alone for a time out, the world has ended. So whatever is usually effective for baby Jack, use that.

Well time outs work pretty good w/ him at my house... but apparently when she put him on time out yesterday he sat in time out and just kept saying "pee pee pee pee pee pee"

He's going to repeat what he hears, so I'd suggest the adults (or older children) keep their mouths hush.

Then I'd ignore the words - don't draw attention to "Ooooh, bad word!!"

That is what we are trying to do as best we can but the other kids cant help but come tell when he says something naughty.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

Well time outs work pretty good w/ him at my house... but apparently when she put him on time out yesterday he sat in time out and just kept saying "pee pee pee pee pee pee"

That is what we are trying to do as best we can but the other kids cant help but come tell when he says something naughty.

then put the other kids in time out for telling

 

[Kain99]

When baby stops getting a reaction, he will move on to other things.

 

[lovinmaryland]

then put the other kids in time out for telling

Her other kids at daycare

 

[Chasey_Lane]

That is what we are trying to do as best we can but the other kids cant help but come tell when he says something naughty.

"Thank you for telling mommy." They'll acknowledge you know and they know you know, but you don't have to say anything to baby Jack. :shrug:

 

[MissKitty]

Bring him around MK, I'll teach him some other words to say instead.

 

[Cowgirl]

I'll try anything at this point. When the daycare provider and I were discussing it yesterday she said something along the lines of "I really dont want to terminate because of the bad words because he is such a good little guy other wise"... I think it is a little extreme to even consider that over words like ass, pee pee, etc... but then again it is her daycare and if other kids are learning to say that and their parents are giving her crap about it. :shrug:

Heaven help those parents when their kids go to school and learn all kinds of great words.

 

[SoMDGirl42]

Her other kids at daycare

Ed Zachary. Punish them all! That will teach them to stop being tattle tails.

 

[Dymphna]

I don't curb my tongue and neither one of my kids ever picked up any bad words with any regularity. I did have the now 7 year old tell me a couple years ago that "bad" words are bad and that I shouldn't say them because I don't want to be bad. They quickly changed to "grown up" words and I'm a grown up so I can say them, he is not so they better not escape his lips.

I say stick with "bad" because you don't want them as teenagers thinking that a bunch of cuss words makes them seem grown up. I once worked in an office where they hired a salesman who was about 21 years old. Every other word out of his mouth was "F." Everything from "That's f***ing cool" to "Eff you." It really made him sound stupid and childish and if he EVER used that language with a customer, I shuddered to think what would happen.

Fortunately he was still in training, as was his immediate supervisor, who was vastly more mature at the age of 23. One day, a bunch of us were standing around chatting and I, who never used such language in the workplace and who at the ripe old age of 32 and pregnant for the second time was viewed by most of the young'uns as a mommy figure, very calmly said, "Do you realized that every other word out of your mouth is f***. Why do you do that?"

You should have seen the shock on their faces that I even knew how to pronounce such a word. The boy in question was speechless....mostly because as soon as he tried to talk, he realized he was about to use that word again and didn't know how to form a sentence without it.

 

[vraiblonde]

Guilt trips only reinforce passive aggression. We all know how annoying that is.

Nice shot. You have your mother's good aim.

 

[Dymphna]

As someone mentioned, ass could be calmly redirected by saying, "we don't use that word here, we use (fill in the blank)" Personally, I like "tush" instead of "butt." Butt to me is almost as bad as "ass."

Shut up is the same way.

Pee pee isn't a dirty word. What's wrong with it? He's 2, if he's getting ready to potty-train, it is only developmentally appropriate for him to be fascinated with the words that describe that process. It's a sign that he's ready to be potty trained. When he says it, stick him on the toilet. He'll learn to only say it when he needs to do it...and that's a good thing.

 

[luckystar]

Nice shot. You have your mother's good aim.

:shrug: I can't stand manipulation. I would never use it to raise my child when I have one, it would only teach them that it was okay to manipulate others to get what they want. It would be what Mommy did to get me to act the way she wanted me to, so it's okay, right? Mommies and Daddies are always right.

 

[Callie girl]

As someone mentioned, ass could be calmly redirected by saying, "we don't use that word here, we use (fill in the blank)" Personally, I like "tush" instead of "butt." Butt to me is almost as bad as "ass."

I agree depending on how they are using it. Butt is not always bad.

 

[Cowgirl]

:shrug: I can't stand manipulation. I would never use it to raise my child when I have one, it would only teach them that it was okay to manipulate others to get what they want. It would be what Mommy did to get me to act the way she wanted me to, so it's okay, right? Mommies and Daddies are always right.

So, if your kid ever hit someone or was mean to someone, would you ever say, "That hurts so-and-so's feelings." Do you consider that to be manipulation?

 

[lovinmaryland]

Pee pee isn't a dirty word. What's wrong with it? He's 2, if he's getting ready to potty-train, it is only developmentally appropriate for him to be fascinated with the words that describe that process. It's a sign that he's ready to be potty trained. When he says it, stick him on the toilet. He'll learn to only say it when he needs to do it...and that's a good thing.

That is what I thought. But the daycare provider said that some of the other kids were picking it up :shrug: Maybe she thinks if they are picking that up they will pick up ass etc..

 

[Dymphna]

I agree depending on how they are using it. Butt is not always bad.

It's a word that grates on me regardless of how they use it.... They could be saying, " Mommy, I fell down and hurt my butt." and I'd give them sympathy and ice pack if need be, and tell them that I prefer they use the word "tush." I do however realize that much of society doesn't really consider "butt" a bad word and once they are in school it's a lost cause. It still bugs me.

 

[Dymphna]

That is what I thought. But the daycare provider said that some of the other kids were picking it up :shrug: Maybe she thinks if they are picking that up they will pick up ass etc..

As someone already asked, what does she expect them to say "Pardon me, I need to urinate." If chickie is freaking out over pee-pee, she's got bigger issues. Take me and the word "butt" I may not like the word, but plenty of daycare kids come into this house using it. I merely tell them that I would prefer thay use "tush" or "bottom" regardless of what Mommy and Daddy say at home. I'm certainly not sticking them in time out...of course, I also have issues with putting a 2-yo in timeout anyway. They don't generally "get it" as is proved by Baby Jack sitting there chanting the offending word.

 

[nomoney]

:shrug: I can't stand manipulation. I would never use it to raise my child when I have one, it would only teach them that it was okay to manipulate others to get what they want. It would be what Mommy did to get me to act the way she wanted me to, so it's okay, right? Mommies and Daddies are always right.

ooooh, so you don't even have kids. How neat.

 

[MissKitty]

ooooh, so you don't even have kids. How neat.

 

[luckystar]

So, if your kid ever hit someone or was mean to someone, would you ever say, "That hurts so-and-so's feelings." Do you consider that to be manipulation?

It is a fine line between manipulation and conditioning, isn't it? Though you're supposed to feel guilty about things you've done wrong.

"Next time he says something bad just reinforce that you've told him not to talk like that anymore and that it hurts your heart when your little man says things like that." -nomoney

This to me is indirect and useless punishment. The child feels bad for hurting mommy, not for the thing he or she did wrong. I consider this manipulation.

Conditioning however, would be direct punishment. Such as saying, "You hit the child, and hurt his or her feelings and injured him. That is inappropriate behavior, and you need to apologize."

You know what I mean? No one likes being manipulated, it's a bad thing to teach, and really doesn't work that well. Have you ever skipped a big chore, and then one of your parents say, "Oh no, I'll do all of it. No problem," sarcastically. You feel like #### for them having to do it. It's indirect and weakens the relationship. You get angry at the person for guilt tripping you, and the next time they try to punish you, you're more likely to rebel.