Bad Words

StrawberryGal

StrawberryGal

Sweet and Innocent
Dymphna said:
As someone mentioned, ass could be calmly redirected by saying, "we don't use that word here, we use (fill in the blank)" Personally, I like "tush" instead of "butt." Butt to me is almost as bad as "ass."

Shut up is the same way.

Pee pee isn't a dirty word. What's wrong with it? He's 2, if he's getting ready to potty-train, it is only developmentally appropriate for him to be fascinated with the words that describe that process. It's a sign that he's ready to be potty trained. When he says it, stick him on the toilet. He'll learn to only say it when he needs to do it...and that's a good thing.
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I agree with this. My 2 years old is saying pee pee now because he's interested in learning to use potty training. I'm currently working with my son on potty training.
 
Cowgirl

Cowgirl

Well-Known Member
luckystar said:
It is a fine line between manipulation and conditioning, isn't it? Though you're supposed to feel guilty about things you've done wrong.

"Next time he says something bad just reinforce that you've told him not to talk like that anymore and that it hurts your heart when your little man says things like that." -nomoney

This to me is indirect and useless punishment. The child feels bad for hurting mommy, not for the thing he or she did wrong. I consider this manipulation.

Conditioning however, would be direct punishment. Such as saying, "You hit the child, and hurt his or her feelings and injured him. That is inappropriate behavior, and you need to apologize."

You know what I mean? No one likes being manipulated, it's a bad thing to teach, and really doesn't work that well. Have you ever skipped a big chore, and then one of your parents say, "Oh no, I'll do all of it. No problem," sarcastically. You feel like #### for them having to do it. It's indirect and weakens the relationship. You get angry at the person for guilt tripping you, and the next time they try to punish you, you're more likely to rebel.
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Hm. Last night, after hearing boy say, "I'm not eating this" for the millionth time at the dinner table, I told him I work hard to cook meals for the family, and it hurts my feelings when he said "it's gross/don't like it/won't eat it." I asked for an apology, and told him in the future he can keep it to himself. His sister hears him say it, and she automatically won't try it. I told him he knows the rules (has to at least try the food), and he can keep his other comments to himself. :shrug: I don't consider that manipulation. IMO, it's good for kids to realize that it affects others' when they do/say things, and not just they can't do it because Mommy/Daddy/whomever else says so. :shrug:
 
nomoney

nomoney

....
luckystar said:
It's just simple psych. It's not like I've never seen a parent-child relationship outside of my own before.
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You're right, every child that has been raised following those psycho babbling textbook guidelines to the T have turned out to be perfect products of society. :yay:

why may I ask is using bad language wrong? When the two year old asks his mom why saying shut up is wrong - what would your reasoning be? (in terms that a 2 year old can understand) :popcorn:
 
Dymphna

Dymphna

Loyalty, Friendship, Love
luckystar said:
It is a fine line between manipulation and conditioning, isn't it? Though you're supposed to feel guilty about things you've done wrong.

"Next time he says something bad just reinforce that you've told him not to talk like that anymore and that it hurts your heart when your little man says things like that." -nomoney

This to me is indirect and useless punishment. The child feels bad for hurting mommy, not for the thing he or she did wrong. I consider this manipulation.

Conditioning however, would be direct punishment. Such as saying, "You hit the child, and hurt his or her feelings and injured him. That is inappropriate behavior, and you need to apologize."

You know what I mean? No one likes being manipulated, it's a bad thing to teach, and really doesn't work that well. Have you ever skipped a big chore, and then one of your parents say, "Oh no, I'll do all of it. No problem," sarcastically. You feel like #### for them having to do it. It's indirect and weakens the relationship. You get angry at the person for guilt tripping you, and the next time they try to punish you, you're more likely to rebel.
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But what makes the behavior wrong? What makes all behavior wrong is that it hurts someone either physically, emotionally or financially. It's not manipulation to point that out. By only telling them that this one particular behavior is wrong, without telling them the why (because doing that makes someone feel bad) they will never learn how to distinguish right and wrong for themselves. The never learn that common courtesy is the defining factor in what defines right and wrong.
 
L

luckystar

Guest
Cowgirl said:
Hm. Last night, after hearing boy say, "I'm not eating this" for the millionth time at the dinner table, I told him I work hard to cook meals for the family, and it hurts my feelings when he said "it's gross/don't like it/won't eat it." I asked for an apology, and told him in the future he can keep it to himself. His sister hears him say it, and she automatically won't try it. I told him he knows the rules (has to at least try the food), and he can keep his other comments to himself. :shrug: I don't consider that manipulation. IMO, it's good for kids to realize that it affects others' when they do/say things, and not just they can't do it because Mommy/Daddy/whomever else says so. :shrug:
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I get that. That's direct. He's hurting your feelings and he should be conscientious of them. Like I said in my previous post with the example, that's not manipulation, it's a fact that he needs to be aware of and punished for if he continues to behave in that way, or say those things.

It's when family or even close friends use their relationship with a person to manipulate them into doing something, not doing something, etc. that I really despise.
 
L

luckystar

Guest
Dymphna said:
But what makes the behavior wrong? What makes all behavior wrong is that it hurts someone either physically, emotionally or financially. It's not manipulation to point that out. By only telling them that this one particular behavior is wrong, without telling them the why (because doing that makes someone feel bad) they will never learn how to distinguish right and wrong for themselves. The never learn that common courtesy is the defining factor in what defines right and wrong.
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My last post answers this, I agree that it's not manipulation to point it out. It's manipulation to use your relationship as flex to get someone to do or not do something.
 
L

luckystar

Guest
Relationships, or even dirt for that matter. Rumors and blackmail, I mean.
 
nomoney

nomoney

....
luckystar said:
My last post answers this, I agree that it's not manipulation to point it out. It's manipulation to use your relationship as flex to get someone to do or not do something.
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So the following would be manipulative then? (because they would be situations where I would use my relationship to get them to do or not to do something)

" Don't have sex with that girl because I'm your girlfriend".....

Or to my son " I don't care if Jimmy's mom said you were welcome to come inside their house to play, I'm your Mom and I said keep your ass out in the yard where I can watch you"
 
L

luckystar

Guest
nomoney said:
You're right, every child that has been raised following those psycho babbling textbook guidelines to the T have turned out to be perfect products of society. :yay:

why may I ask is using bad language wrong? When the two year old asks his mom why saying shut up is wrong - what would your reasoning be? (in terms that a 2 year old can understand) :popcorn:
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Sorry, I missed this post. I don't mean to psycho babble you up. I would just tell the kid that it hurts people's feelings. My whole point is to be direct, and not use something else as flex, like rumors, blackmail, or your relationship (guilt tripping).
 
nomoney

nomoney

....
luckystar said:
Sorry, I missed this post. I don't mean to psycho babble you up. I would just tell the kid that it hurts people's feelings. My whole point is to be direct, and not use something else as flex, like rumors, blackmail, or your relationship (guilt tripping).
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and you would say to a 2 year old then.......
 
Pete

Pete

Repete
kvj21075 said:
my retarded uncle says G**D*** alot, so we started saying "touchdown" right after, so now everyone thinks he is saying touchdown, and i think it sounds more like touchdown now :lol: i dont know what kind of word you could change "peepee" and "ass" into though :lol:
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"4 D" and "pee pee" kinda rhyme
 
pebbles

pebbles

Member
StrawberryGal said:
I agree with this. My 2 years old is saying pee pee now because he's interested in learning to use potty training. I'm currently working with my son on potty training.
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:yeahthat:
I have serious issues with peepee being a "bad" word. Would she rather all the daycare kids be running around saying peter, weiner, wee wee, or penis? I mean come on.
 
whome20603

whome20603

...
pebbles said:
:yeahthat:
I have serious issues with peepee being a "bad" word. Would she rather all the daycare kids be running around saying peter, weiner, wee wee, or penis? I mean come on.
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I agree, peepee definitely isn't a "bad" word. Then again, neither is "peter", "weiner", "wee wee" or "penis". Now, if they were running around saying d***...that's another story.
 
pebbles

pebbles

Member
whome20603 said:
I agree, peepee definitely isn't a "bad" word. Then again, neither is "peter", "weiner", "wee wee" or "penis". Now, if they were running around saying d***...that's another story.
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Yeah I know but I guess some sound nicer than others. I would rather my son say something about his peepee instead of his peter but I guess that's my opinion. He'll be potty training soon enough & we'll see what he comes up with!
 
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