Our National Ritual Humiliation continued this week. First it was trans strippers on the White House lawn. And now, this.
The Hill ran a lackluster headline yesterday:
The Hillâs article is so light on facts that youâd be forgiven for even thinking anything unusual happened at all, beyond some recreational drug addictâs lost stash being found ânearâ the White House, with Secret Service agents overreacting and âbrieflyâ clearing the Residence in an abundance of caution.
Compare and contrast the Hillâs delicate, whitewashed headline with this much better and more informative one, from the UKâs Daily Mail:
Haha! The âhighestâ office! Iâm glad to be independent from them, but I have deep affection and admiration for our British cousins, especially for their dry wit.
In case you missed it, on Sunday night, an unidentified person found a plasticine envelope containing a fine white powder in the White House. The Secret Service promptly and properly cleared the building and brought in Hazmat, in what turned out to be an unnecessary and humiliating evacuation of the Nationâs Most Iconic Building and Seat of Power, since the white power was actually just somebodyâs leftover cocaine stash.
Somebody who has SO MUCH cocaine they didnât even notice they left their spare inventory behind.
Left behind IN THE WHITE HOUSE. Where Hunter had just recently been avoiding process service, I mean residing, for the prior two weeks, before leaving Friday for Camp David with his enabler, I mean father, I mean the former Vice President.
Unlike the Hill, which misinformed its readers that the cocaine was found ânearâ the White House, suggesting somebody threw it over the fence or something, the Daily Mail included a very helpful infographic, pinpointing exactly where the abandoned party supplies were found, right on the Residenceâs ground floor, in a non-public area right where Hunter likes to âworkâ on his laptop. (Well. Hunter âworks,â if downloading Romanian upskirt videos counts. It does take SOME effort, after all.)
You can imagine the hilarity that must have ensued when the Biden arrived at Camp David. âNow, where did I leave my ⌠dang it ⌠I know it was around here somewhere. Daaad!â It was a real-life game of Clue: Hunter Biden WITH the Cocaine IN the Library.
Anyway, all reports assure that a crack squad of highly-motivated political spin-experts, sorry, I mean âthe authorities,â are presently tracking down where the illegal drugs came from. Drugs that, if connected to him, could potentially violate Hunterâs new pretrial diversion agreement, plea deal, and probation even before they ever got started.
In other words, donât hold your breath to find out.
Sarcastic punters online helpfully pointed out that the White House library is under 24x7 video surveillance, so it should be super easy to figure out who done it, easy that is unless there is another Jeffrey Epstein-style camera failure or something. You never know. These things arenât perfect.
https://whitehouse.gov1.info/webcam/library
Finally, Iâm not even going to pointlessly observe how differently corporate media would be reporting this story if it were a Trump Administration in the Residence instead of a Biden Administration.
And you guys thought I was joking whenever I called Ukraine the deep stateâs crack house. I canât wait to find out whatâs next.
The Hill ran a lackluster headline yesterday:
The Hillâs article is so light on facts that youâd be forgiven for even thinking anything unusual happened at all, beyond some recreational drug addictâs lost stash being found ânearâ the White House, with Secret Service agents overreacting and âbrieflyâ clearing the Residence in an abundance of caution.
Compare and contrast the Hillâs delicate, whitewashed headline with this much better and more informative one, from the UKâs Daily Mail:
Haha! The âhighestâ office! Iâm glad to be independent from them, but I have deep affection and admiration for our British cousins, especially for their dry wit.
In case you missed it, on Sunday night, an unidentified person found a plasticine envelope containing a fine white powder in the White House. The Secret Service promptly and properly cleared the building and brought in Hazmat, in what turned out to be an unnecessary and humiliating evacuation of the Nationâs Most Iconic Building and Seat of Power, since the white power was actually just somebodyâs leftover cocaine stash.
Somebody who has SO MUCH cocaine they didnât even notice they left their spare inventory behind.
Left behind IN THE WHITE HOUSE. Where Hunter had just recently been avoiding process service, I mean residing, for the prior two weeks, before leaving Friday for Camp David with his enabler, I mean father, I mean the former Vice President.
Unlike the Hill, which misinformed its readers that the cocaine was found ânearâ the White House, suggesting somebody threw it over the fence or something, the Daily Mail included a very helpful infographic, pinpointing exactly where the abandoned party supplies were found, right on the Residenceâs ground floor, in a non-public area right where Hunter likes to âworkâ on his laptop. (Well. Hunter âworks,â if downloading Romanian upskirt videos counts. It does take SOME effort, after all.)
You can imagine the hilarity that must have ensued when the Biden arrived at Camp David. âNow, where did I leave my ⌠dang it ⌠I know it was around here somewhere. Daaad!â It was a real-life game of Clue: Hunter Biden WITH the Cocaine IN the Library.
Anyway, all reports assure that a crack squad of highly-motivated political spin-experts, sorry, I mean âthe authorities,â are presently tracking down where the illegal drugs came from. Drugs that, if connected to him, could potentially violate Hunterâs new pretrial diversion agreement, plea deal, and probation even before they ever got started.
In other words, donât hold your breath to find out.
Sarcastic punters online helpfully pointed out that the White House library is under 24x7 video surveillance, so it should be super easy to figure out who done it, easy that is unless there is another Jeffrey Epstein-style camera failure or something. You never know. These things arenât perfect.
https://whitehouse.gov1.info/webcam/library
Finally, Iâm not even going to pointlessly observe how differently corporate media would be reporting this story if it were a Trump Administration in the Residence instead of a Biden Administration.
And you guys thought I was joking whenever I called Ukraine the deep stateâs crack house. I canât wait to find out whatâs next.
âď¸ LONG VAX â Wednesday, July 5, 2023 â C&C NEWS đŚ
Bonus roundup: White House's cocaine problem; major pro-freedom decision; link between jabs and relentlessly debilitating syndromes; great news on summer movies, and more.
www.coffeeandcovid.com