Dates with an ex lover

itsbob

itsbob

I bowl overhand
KDENISE977 said:
Okay, my opinion, and ONLY my opinion. My husband and I have an agreement, we don't socialize with anyone we've had sexual relations with. We have BOTH agreed we don't ever worry that either will stray or ever cheat, we have a very strong bond, we did since we first met. We consider it to be out of respect for each other and our relationship. Again, it's not a trust issue, it's a "this person has seen you nekkid and vice versa" and we think that is merely a respect thing. I had a VERY close male friend who was also a past sexual partner and he'd call me on the weekends and even if it was to talk about his current girlfriends or whatever, I could see it made my husband uncomfortable, he never told me to stop talking to him or anything, but it was out of respect because I knew how it made him feel.
Click to expand...

Wow, i guess that means no more lunch dates then??
 
Larry Gude

Larry Gude

Strung Out
Dakota said:
Yep.... that may seem all well and good in theory but has anyone seen that play out well in real life? :lol:
Click to expand...

In nature it's fairly common for one male to have numerous females which we see reflected in some older, baser cultures, Arabs, Mormons but, for a modern world, a Westernized world, where women have full rights and power, doesn't seem to go over so well.

There is an interesting movie, Savages, where that is the central theme, two males sharing one female very successfully so, who knows?
 
I

inkah

Active Member
Dakota said:
Yep.... that may seem all well and good in theory but has anyone seen that play out well in real life? :lol:
Click to expand...

Yeah. It would require an entire re- think that I don't think too many are up for. Might be a different discussion though if folks were generally more about honesty and less about controlling others.

My "guess" is that most men (and lots of women) have had "affairs"...er....I mean "dates" while in a committed relationship.
 
Dakota

Dakota

~~~~~~~
inkah said:
Yeah. It would require an entire re- think that I don't think too many are up for. Might be a different discussion though if folks were generally more about honesty and less about controlling others.

My "guess" is that most men (and lots of women) have had "affairs"...er....I mean "dates" while in a committed relationship.
Click to expand...

Of course they have... private surveys on the subject have proven that and it has skyrocketed for women in the past decade. In fact, the last few surveys I've seen on the subject have shown women leading in the "affair” category over men. Long term relationships can become mundane and it really takes 2 people to understand this and change things up a bit. My husband and I have come to the conclusion that we have to fall in love with each other over and over again to keep our relationship intact and away from the other elements that are destructive to us.
 
Dakota

Dakota

~~~~~~~
Dakota said:
Of course they have... private surveys on the subject have proven that and it has skyrocketed for women in the past decade. In fact, the last few surveys I've seen on the subject have shown women leading in the "affair” category over men. Long term relationships can become mundane and it really takes 2 people to understand this and change things up a bit. My husband and I have come to the conclusion that we have to fall in love with each other over and over again to keep our relationship intact and away from the other elements that are destructive to us.
Click to expand...

But that is us... and that is because we *WANT* to be together. We've had past strains and past times we both wanted out - I won't deny that.... but I don't think either of us want to face a world without the other being in it and our history together means a great deal to the both of us. But that is us.... that isn't everyone. When we decided love isn't just a feeling but a verb, something you do by changing things up (and not just in the bedroom), our relationship improved for the better.... We learned that couples who play together stay together. Oh and moving almost an hour away from his family helped a great deal. :whistle:
 
Dakota

Dakota

~~~~~~~
Larry Gude said:
In nature it's fairly common for one male to have numerous females which we see reflected in some older, baser cultures, Arabs, Mormons but, for a modern world, a Westernized world, where women have full rights and power, doesn't seem to go over so well.

There is an interesting movie, Savages, where that is the central theme, two males sharing one female very successfully so, who knows?
Click to expand...

I’m going to bring up a taboo…. Something a few of my middle-aged girlfriends have talked to me about…. According to them, their upper 40 and 50 year old husbands cannot seem to hold out in the bedroom leaving them feeling as if they have lost their luster. I don't think they would want to share what little tid bits they get with another women. I hear men say how wonderful this would be but really??? Can they keep that up as they get older?

And women in other cultures put up with that because it is the norm.
 
luvmygdaughters

luvmygdaughters

Well-Known Member
Speaking from my experience only, when my ex and I divorced, he got re-married 2x. I never had a problem with his wives, but, they had a problem with me. We have two daughters together, when we divorced, they were only 5 & 6. There were times when we had to communicate with each other concerning the kids. usually this was done on the phone, I could hear his current wives in the background running their mouths. Nasty comments and name calling. Didnt bother me any, but, made them sound like bitter, jealous hags. Well he's divorced again and living alone and we are still friends. In fact, he's told me before, out of all of his ex wives, I was the best! LOL.
He and my hubby are sociable, when we have family functions that involve our daughters and grandkids. My ex and I took our granddaughters to the circus together because hubby wasnt able to go. No problems or jealousy at all from hubby. Sometimes it takes "growing up and maturing" to come to that point.
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Dakota said:
I’m going to bring up a taboo…. Something a few of my middle-aged girlfriends have talked to me about…. According to them, their upper 40 and 50 year old husbands cannot seem to hold out in the bedroom leaving them feeling as if they have lost their luster. I don't think they would want to share what little tid bits they get with another women. I hear men say how wonderful this would be but really??? Can they keep that up as they get older?

And women in other cultures put up with that because it is the norm.
Click to expand...

It's easy to get excited about someone whose crap you don't have to put up with on a daily basis - that goes for both men and women. Hubby's girlfriend thinks he's great because she doesn't wash his dirty underwear, listen to him complain, or watch him lay around the house being a lazy bum. She gets the best of him and none of the worst, and she never nags or belittles him because....she doesn't have to put up with his crap. Of course he brings his A-game in the sack, and so does she - that's why they're there and there are no distractions or anything else going on.
 
Dakota

Dakota

~~~~~~~
vraiblonde said:
It's easy to get excited about someone whose crap you don't have to put up with on a daily basis - that goes for both men and women. Hubby's girlfriend thinks he's great because she doesn't wash his dirty underwear, listen to him complain, or watch him lay around the house being a lazy bum. She gets the best of him and none of the worst, and she never nags or belittles him because....she doesn't have to put up with his crap. Of course he brings his A-game in the sack, and so does she - that's why they're there and there are no distractions or anything else going on.
Click to expand...

:lol: Nor do they have to order them to change their pants because they have paint on the crotch area and THINK they are taking you out to dinner looking like that. :nono:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top