Dating Website "Etiquette"

Dakota

Dakota

~~~~~~~
Toxick said:
I'd be delighted:


---------------

Hey fellas,

With all due modesty, I am, indeed, all that and a bag of chips - and a soft drink. I know that may sound a bit abrupt, but seriously there's really no other way to put it without sounding like some pretentious little goober. I mean, go to picture 4 and look at that ass. Just look at it. That wasn't by accident either. That comes from hard work and not eating an entire order of cheezy-fries every time I go to Outback. Instead of doing that, I would much rather stay at home and whip up Baked Fennel Parmasana that will knock your Nonnie's socks off. Preferably with a nice full bodied Merlot.

What I'm looking for is a nice guy. Before I continue, I should probably elaborate on that. When I say a "Nice Guy", I'm not talking about you pathetic little worms that whine and complain because pretty girls date so-called a-holes when they could be dating a clingy little douche geekboy like you. NEWSFLASH: You're not nearly as nice as you think you are, and those a-holes are not as a-holey as you think they are. I should also point out that when I say "nice guy" there is some emphasis on the word "guy". I don't want a preening little metrosexual dancing around my house. I want to see someone wearing a football jersey from time to time. Sometimes I want to see someone come into the house with grease striped in their 5 o'clock shadow from working under the car. I want someone who can stand up in the middle of doing it and not drop me onto the floor. If you own anything that has glitter in it, or have ever watched anything that has Oprah in it, press the Back button and have yourself a good day.

I said good day.


With that said, I expect you to be able to sit through things like Steel Magnolias or Yaya's Travelling Pants without rolling your eyes. In return, I'll sit through The Fast & the Furious movies and the forthcoming Star Wars movies without rolling mine. Washing dishes is not bitch-work, and if you eat, and are not allergic to water, you should be able to rinse your plate and put it in the dishwaser. If you are civilized enough to wear clothes then you should also be civilized enough to put them somewhere appropriate when you're done with them. The foot of the bed, or hanging over my shower-curtain rod is not considered "somewhere appropriate". I don't mind if you drink, but you better damn-well be a pleasant drunk.

In conclusion, I sleep naked.


----------

This is not copyrighted, so use it, change anything you like, and enjoy.
Click to expand...


Speaking of Star Wars... it is on right now and now I feel sucked in because I'm actually watching it. :cds: (and I have seen it several other time before)

Toxick - you rock. That was hysterically funny! :buddies:
 
Toxick

Toxick

Splat
Dakota said:
Toxick - you rock. That was hysterically funny! :buddies:
Click to expand...

:dude:


Sometimes I almost wish I was single so I could write an intro and post it on a dating site... Just to see what would happen.





But not quite. As I remember, dating sucked.
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Toxick said:
As I remember, dating sucked.
Click to expand...

It's like a garden: here's all these weeds strangling your petunia but every time you hose one down with RoundUp six more take its place. Before you know it you can't even see the petunia and it wouldn't matter if you could because it's shriveled up brown and deader than Kelsey's nuts and you don't even remember what petunias look like anymore. Which is why people give up and go with plastic flowers because that constant weeding is tiresome and daunting - just to grow one petunia.
 
ZARA

ZARA

Registered User
Toxick said:
I'd be delighted:


---------------

Hey fellas,

With all due modesty, I am, indeed, all that and a bag of chips - and a soft drink. I know that may sound a bit abrupt, but seriously there's really no other way to put it without sounding like some pretentious little goober. I mean, go to picture 4 and look at that ass. Just look at it. That wasn't by accident either. That comes from hard work and not eating an entire order of cheezy-fries every time I go to Outback. Instead of doing that, I would much rather stay at home and whip up Baked Fennel Parmasana that will knock your Nonnie's socks off. Preferably with a nice full bodied Merlot.

What I'm looking for is a nice guy. Before I continue, I should probably elaborate on that. When I say a "Nice Guy", I'm not talking about you pathetic little worms that whine and complain because pretty girls date so-called a-holes when they could be dating a clingy little douche geekboy like you. NEWSFLASH: You're not nearly as nice as you think you are, and those a-holes are not as a-holey as you think they are. I should also point out that when I say "nice guy" there is some emphasis on the word "guy". I don't want a preening little metrosexual dancing around my house. I want to see someone wearing a football jersey from time to time. Sometimes I want to see someone come into the house with grease striped in their 5 o'clock shadow from working under the car. I want someone who can stand up in the middle of doing it and not drop me onto the floor. If you own anything that has glitter in it, or have ever watched anything that has Oprah in it, press the Back button and have yourself a good day.

I said good day.


With that said, I expect you to be able to sit through things like Steel Magnolias or Yaya's Travelling Pants without rolling your eyes. In return, I'll sit through The Fast & the Furious movies and the forthcoming Star Wars movies without rolling mine. Washing dishes is not bitch-work, and if you eat, and are not allergic to water, you should be able to rinse your plate and put it in the dishwaser. If you are civilized enough to wear clothes then you should also be civilized enough to put them somewhere appropriate when you're done with them. The foot of the bed, or hanging over my shower-curtain rod is not considered "somewhere appropriate". I don't mind if you drink, but you better damn-well be a pleasant drunk.

In conclusion, I sleep naked.


----------

This is not copyrighted, so use it, change anything you like, and enjoy.
Click to expand...

You forgot to add, "If I don't find you physically attractive within the first 30 seconds, you are out of luck champ. Sorry, but the body wants what the body wants.
 
SG_Player1974

SG_Player1974

New Member
My personal favorites are the women who grant dates from online suitors if only for the free meal and drinks with absolutely NO plans to ever make a go of it and only doing it to save money on food.

Are dudes doing this too?

I agree that a friendly "Sorry.. Not interested." is the way to go.
 
Lexib_

Lexib_

Blah.. Blah...Blah
SG_Player1974 said:
My personal favorites are the women who grant dates from online suitors if only for the free meal and drinks with absolutely NO plans to ever make a go of it and only doing it to save money on food.

Are dudes doing this too?

I agree that a friendly "Sorry.. Not interested." is the way to go.
Click to expand...

I have to agree with that. For myself I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that. I would at least split it or take turns paying? Seems like that's an odd concept... I guess I'm old school.
 
Merlin99

Merlin99

Visualize whirled peas
PREMO Member
vraiblonde said:
It's like a garden: here's all these weeds strangling your petunia but every time you hose one down with RoundUp six more take its place. Before you know it you can't even see the petunia and it wouldn't matter if you could because it's shriveled up brown and deader than Kelsey's nuts and you don't even remember what petunias look like anymore. Which is why people give up and go with plastic flowers because that constant weeding is tiresome and daunting - just to grow one petunia.
Click to expand...

I had some weeds strangling my petunias once, but a little landscaping fixed it right up.
 
Bann

Bann

Doris Day meets Lady Gaga
PREMO Member
Toxick said:
I'd be delighted:


---------------

Hey fellas,

With all due modesty, I am, indeed, all that and a bag of chips - and a soft drink. I know that may sound a bit abrupt, but seriously there's really no other way to put it without sounding like some pretentious little goober. I mean, go to picture 4 and look at that ass. Just look at it. That wasn't by accident either. That comes from hard work and not eating an entire order of cheezy-fries every time I go to Outback. Instead of doing that, I would much rather stay at home and whip up Baked Fennel Parmasana that will knock your Nonnie's socks off. Preferably with a nice full bodied Merlot.

What I'm looking for is a nice guy. Before I continue, I should probably elaborate on that. When I say a "Nice Guy", I'm not talking about you pathetic little worms that whine and complain because pretty girls date so-called a-holes when they could be dating a clingy little douche geekboy like you. NEWSFLASH: You're not nearly as nice as you think you are, and those a-holes are not as a-holey as you think they are. I should also point out that when I say "nice guy" there is some emphasis on the word "guy". I don't want a preening little metrosexual dancing around my house. I want to see someone wearing a football jersey from time to time. Sometimes I want to see someone come into the house with grease striped in their 5 o'clock shadow from working under the car. I want someone who can stand up in the middle of doing it and not drop me onto the floor. If you own anything that has glitter in it, or have ever watched anything that has Oprah in it, press the Back button and have yourself a good day.

I said good day.


With that said, I expect you to be able to sit through things like Steel Magnolias or Yaya's Travelling Pants without rolling your eyes. In return, I'll sit through The Fast & the Furious movies and the forthcoming Star Wars movies without rolling mine. Washing dishes is not bitch-work, and if you eat, and are not allergic to water, you should be able to rinse your plate and put it in the dishwaser. If you are civilized enough to wear clothes then you should also be civilized enough to put them somewhere appropriate when you're done with them. The foot of the bed, or hanging over my shower-curtain rod is not considered "somewhere appropriate". I don't mind if you drink, but you better damn-well be a pleasant drunk.

In conclusion, I sleep naked.


----------

This is not copyrighted, so use it, change anything you like, and enjoy.
Click to expand...

:roflmao:

:high5:
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Okay, I've finally gone over to the dark side and created a Match profile. Here's what I've learned in 12 hours:

Guys will ping you even if you're not even close to their "match". I don't feel compelled to answer those because I figure they're just shotgunning it and won't notice if you don't respond.

There are a lot of Ukranian supermodels looking for a woman just like me.

If you use your forum name as your screen name, guys will google you and find you on here. Be aware of that.

Guys you know in real life will hit you up on Match even though they've never asked you out in all the years you've known them.

Guys you've dated before will hit you up on Match instead of just calling you outright if they want to go out again.

Will report back on the next 12 hours....
 
sockgirl77

sockgirl77

Well-Known Member
SG_Player1974 said:
My personal favorites are the women who grant dates from online suitors if only for the free meal and drinks with absolutely NO plans to ever make a go of it and only doing it to save money on food.

Are dudes doing this too?
Click to expand...

No. Instead, they're doing it for sex. :yay:
 
Baja28

Baja28

Obama destroyed America
vraiblonde said:
Okay, I've finally gone over to the dark side and created a Match profile. Here's what I've learned in 12 hours:

Guys will ping you even if you're not even close to their "match". I don't feel compelled to answer those because I figure they're just shotgunning it and won't notice if you don't respond.

There are a lot of Ukranian supermodels looking for a woman just like me.

If you use your forum name as your screen name, guys will google you and find you on here. Be aware of that.

Guys you know in real life will hit you up on Match even though they've never asked you out in all the years you've known them.

Guys you've dated before will hit you up on Match instead of just calling you outright if they want to go out again.

Will report back on the next 12 hours....
Click to expand...
I'm not Ukranian. :confused:
 
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