Dating

[Railroad]

Okay, so one doesn't always find a potential companion in the frozen food section or at the coffeepot or soda machine. Anymore, if someone were to walk up and flirt in one of those locations, chances are outstanding the result would be ugly.

I never expected to be looking for a partner at 56. My own fault in a lot of ways, but there it is and you can't change things which have already happened. So the search is on - no particular urgency, but why waste time and energy when you have some of both?

Thus the online dating sites present viable alternatives for those who want to date (and shop around). I've been doing the online dating thing for a few weeks. It took a while and a little work to research and make contacts, but there have been two dates thus far, both in just the past few days. There was one possibility which just fell through before the actual date, and that's a good thing because I didn't really want to meet up with that one anyway.

So the two "dates" have been the initial meeting type of thing, and with caution being the most effective protection under the circumstances, both have nonetheless been delightful experiences - the potential for good things is there.

One was a lunch date, and today's was a coffee date which grew into a stroll through the Hallmark store - always a treat this time of year.

So this is fun - certainly more fun than sitting around the house or doing chores. And I'm not so lonely, which was becoming a big issue. One thing which might be worthy of note for those thinking of doing the online dating thing, is that there are lots of fake people out there, and they are more easily identified than they probably think. Being real - no games, no stories, no bragging, no hidden agenda - that is a big deal and a lot of people are starving for that, looking for "real" people.

Anyway, it was really cool, even in an ice storm, being out for coffee with a REALLY cool lady. Just the one event makes the time spent online, worth it.

 

[Tito]

pansy

 

[GWguy]

The harder you look, the more frustrated you'll be (use Vrai's trials and tribulations as an example....). Chill and be yourself. It will just happen when it's the right time.

 

[vraiblonde]

The harder you look, the more frustrated you'll be (use Vrai's trials and tribulations as an example....). Chill and be yourself. It will just happen when it's the right time.

Don't use me as an example because I'm highly intolerant, not particularly motivated, and not willing to put forth a whole lot of effort toward finding a mate. I dump guys who are too nice, for crying out loud. I'm probably not someone to emulate in the dating arena.

If you simply don't want to be alone and are looking for someone to settle down with and aren't terribly picky, there are dozens of women/men out there with whom you could be happy. So date and have fun with it.

 

[Railroad]

Don't use me as an example because I'm highly intolerant, not particularly motivated, and not willing to put forth a whole lot of effort toward finding a mate. I dump guys who are too nice, for crying out loud. I'm probably not someone to emulate in the dating arena.

If you simply don't want to be alone and are looking for someone to settle down with and aren't terribly picky, there are dozens of women/men out there with whom you could be happy. So date and have fun with it.

Agreed! That's what's happening - I really AM having fun with it. And I don't give a flyin' flip what anybody thinks. Paid my dues, TYVM.

 

[Christy]

I swore I would never do online dating. Glad I changed my mind. Wound up meeting the most perfect man (for me) in existence.

Have fun Railroad.

 

[mamatutu]

pansy

Why would you respond with that reply? Just curious.

 

[Monello]

Being real - no games, no stories, no bragging, no hidden agenda - that is a big deal and a lot of people are starving for that, looking for "real" people.

It wasn't this 'lady' by chance?

Woman Uses Online Dating Sites for Free Dinners

 

[Railroad]

I swore I would never do online dating. Glad I changed my mind. Wound up meeting the most perfect man (for me) in existence.

Have fun Railroad.

Thanks! I am - and I will.

 

[Railroad]

Why would you respond with that reply? Just curious.

Don't waste your time and energy, MTT - I didn't.

 

[ZARA]

Don't use me as an example because I'm highly intolerant, not particularly motivated, and not willing to put forth a whole lot of effort toward finding a mate. I dump guys who are too nice, for crying out loud. I'm probably not someone to emulate in the dating arena.

If you simply don't want to be alone and are looking for someone to settle down with and aren't terribly picky, there are dozens of women/men out there with whom you could be happy. So date and have fun with it.

OMG What's wrong with you?!?! LMAO

Nice guys are the best. Especially shy nice guys.

They are usually humble, self confident but not overly so, not abusive, willing to communicate with out yelling, caring, loving, and thoughtful. At least mine is. The downside...they usually do not like a lot of socializing outside of the immediate family. Prefer home-cooked date nights to actual date nights and the only way to get them to dance is by liquoring them up, which I have no problem with because my husband is extremely entertaining when he has a buzz. The other downside, they are usually over protective and treat you like a porcelain doll, feeling the need to protect you from the world. But I'm not complaining, it's nice to have someone that wants to protect me and keep me safe.

 

[vraiblonde]

OMG What's wrong with you?!?! LMAO

Nice guys are the best. Especially shy nice guys.

They are usually humble, self confident but not overly so, not abusive, willing to communicate with out yelling, caring, loving, and thoughtful. At least mine is. The downside...they usually do not like a lot of socializing outside of the immediate family. Prefer home-cooked date nights to actual date nights and the only way to get them to dance is by liquoring them up, which I have no problem with because my husband is extremely entertaining when he has a buzz. The other downside, they are usually over protective and treat you like a porcelain doll, feeling the need to protect you from the world. But I'm not complaining, it's nice to have someone that wants to protect me and keep me safe.

I find them clingy and feel manipulated.

It's like when Apollo is sleeping on my feet and I finally move him when I can no longer feel my legs. He looks at me with reproach, "I never reject you.... " So I find myself explaining to him that if my legs fall off I won't be able to give him the long walks he loves, nor will I be able to play "gimme that chewie" and chase him around the house. Still, he *looks* at me....

That is just way too much guilt and pressure, and I can only have one adoring yet needy soul in my life. The dog is currently occupying that position.

 

[ZARA]

I find them clingy and feel manipulated.

It's like when Apollo is sleeping on my feet and I finally move him when I can no longer feel my legs. He looks at me with reproach, "I never reject you.... " So I find myself explaining to him that if my legs fall off I won't be able to give him the long walks he loves, nor will I be able to play "gimme that chewie" and chase him around the house. Still, he *looks* at me....

That is just way too much guilt and pressure, and I can only have one adoring yet needy soul in my life. The dog is currently occupying that position.

Awww

I don't feel guilt. It's not an emotion I was created with. I have never in my entire life felt guilty for anything. So...I'm either emotionally broken or emotionally free...not sure which one it is...lol

 

[GURPS]

Okay, so one doesn't always find a potential companion in the frozen food section or at the coffeepot or soda machine. Anymore, if someone were to walk up and flirt in one of those locations, chances are outstanding the result would be ugly.

I always read bars were particularity bad places to meet members of the opposite sex [unless you were looking for a hookup], better places were, in the park walking a dog, at the laundry mat washing your clothes .... places outside of the 'normal' high stress meat markets ...


in the 1990's I saw a woman smoking one evening in a Burger King, even though I had my own smokes I bummed a light to 'break' the ice ... I kept the conversation going and ended up dating her for 6 months until she went back to the UK ....




you never know when you will 'find' someone ....

 

[GURPS]

OMG What's wrong with you?!?! LMAO

Nice guys are the best. Especially shy nice guys.

They are usually humble, self confident but not overly so, not abusive, willing to communicate with out yelling, caring, loving, and thoughtful. At least mine is. The downside...they usually do not like a lot of socializing outside of the immediate family. Prefer home-cooked date nights to actual date nights and the only way to get them to dance is by liquoring them up, which I have no problem with because my husband is extremely entertaining when he has a buzz. The other downside, they are usually over protective and treat you like a porcelain doll, feeling the need to protect you from the world. But I'm not complaining, it's nice to have someone that wants to protect me and keep me safe.

 

[vraiblonde]

I always read bars were particularity bad places to meet members of the opposite sex [unless you were looking for a hookup], better places were, in the park walking a dog, at the laundry mat washing your clothes .... places outside of the 'normal' high stress meat markets ...

Bars are great places to meet people because there are zillions of them there and you can meet and talk to strangers in groups instead of one on one where you're stuck. I will suggest that meeting someone at a bar is low stress, not high.

I've never, not one time, even seen a viable candidate at the dog park or at the laundromat. Men at dog parks are usually married, and the laundromat is filled with women and their young kids. At least around here, Ali Landry isn't really hanging out at the laundromat - that's just a commercial.

 

[GURPS]

I will suggest that meeting someone at a bar is low stress, not high.

I've never, not one time, even seen a viable candidate at the dog park or at the laundromat.

the information is a bit dated ...
.... as I said, suggested places for women to meet guys, published in the 1990's ... I found most of the women I dated 'online'


Your Mileage May Very

 

[ZARA]

Hmm...I met my husband in a bar. It was one I frequented a lot. I found out after we started dating that he also frequented it and that he watched me dance every time I was there...I never noticed him until the night a friend introduced us. The idea of him watching me kinda creeped me out..lol So I asked him why he never said anything to me before. He said, "Because I thought you were out of my league." :heartthrobandhegotlucky: lmao Good thing I'm aggressive and chase what I want otherwise I would have never known how lovely life can be.

Bars can be meat markets but they can also be the place you find that piece of ass you really want. lmao It's where singles go to have fun. Those of us that aren't Christians don't exactly want to go to church to meet singles that believe in things we do not. Where else can you actually meet singles other than a bar?

**edit** I would NOT want to meet a guy in a laundry mat because it means he isn't financially secure IMO. And it may seem bad...but I don't want to date dead weight.

 

[GWguy]

**edit** I would NOT want to meet a guy in a laundry mat because it means he isn't financially secure IMO. And it may seem bad...but I don't want to date dead weight.

Not true. I am more than financially secure, but there are many times I use a laundromat. Used it for a few weeks while I re-did the wash room and got new appliances, use it when I have to do quilts or sleeping bags that are too big for my machine.... All you need is that one chance meeting. To judge solely based on where they are is pretty biased.

 

[ZARA]

Not true. I am more than financially secure, but there are many times I use a laundromat. Used it for a few weeks while I re-did the wash room and got new appliances, use it when I have to do quilts or sleeping bags that are too big for my machine.... All you need is that one chance meeting. To judge solely based on where they are is pretty biased.

You are correct. I am very biased and I have used a laundry mat twice in my life-both with my husband while we were changing duty stations.

Before I met my husband I had created a list of "Standards" that a guy had to meet otherwise I would not date him. I made the standards so high and in such detail that I didn't think anyone alive could meet them point for point. I did this to prevent myself from being hurt again. My husband met each one point for point.

And if he dies before me I will create another list that out does my first one. I will either be single for the rest of my life or find the most amazing creation on earth...more than likely I will be single for the rest of my life because the odds of finding 2 men that can handle all my "crazy" ...just not in my favor.