Equating a job to marriage

[ZARA]

Sorry, dear. You don't know that from glancing at a guy at the end of the bar anymore than you know that about the entire internet without at least looking. Every woman's 'soul' mate, at some point, looks like the guy at the end of the bar. There is ZERO telling what was going on with him at that moment. And I've known too many women who've gone on and fell in long and happy love with a guy they couldn't stand at first.

Just because you reject a guy who could have been YOUR ONE before you find out at least a little bit is no indication of the infallibility of women and their first impressions. If you believe it is true, good enough. That's your thing.

1. I married my one. I wanted him from the second I met him.
2. they couldn't stand at first. ...this is a personality trait- has nothing to do with first impression within the first 5 seconds.
3. Let the ladies weigh in and tell you ...Create a survey..and ask the question:
Ladies, do you know within 5 seconds of meeting a man whether or not you would be willing to have sex with him?
Answers:
Yes
No

So, we're in agreement, then?

For the most part...lol

 

[Larry Gude]

Ladies, do you know within 5 seconds of meeting a man whether or not you would be willing to have sex with him?
Answers:
Yes
No
ol

That wasn't the question, now, was it?

The question was Claire and her quest for a mate, not Good Time Charlie. Ha.

 

[lucky_bee]

That wasn't the question, now, was it?

The question was Claire and her quest for a mate, not Good Time Charlie. Ha.

But what's the point of considering him as a potential mate/partner when you scrunch your nose up at the thought of boinking him?

 

[Larry Gude]

But what's the point of considering him as a potential mate/partner when you scrunch your nose up at the thought of boinking him?

You don't know any women who are happy with a guy they couldn't stand the first time they met them?

 

[warneckutz]

 

[SG_Player1974]

but we really do know within 5 seconds of seeing a man if we are willing to have sex with him or not. That's why I left that part of the conversation out of my reply. If we aren't willing to have sex with him, he isn't our type.

Hmmmm......

You wouldn't happen to be one of those people that shout from the mountain tops that the MOST IMPORTANT thing about a man is their "sense of humor" or their "sensitivity" would you?

I ask because this sounds very much like the FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT thing that you acknowledge in a man is PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS!

The simple fact is that women condemn men for using physical attractivness as the first and primary reason for approaching a woman (and those men that say no.... are LYING) however, it appears from the replies on here that women do the very same thing.

So please spare me the future bull about sense of humor. EVERYONE knows that looks are what attracts people to potential mates. PERIOD!

 

[MMM_donuts]

I know guys don't understand this part of the female mentality, but we really do know within 5 seconds of seeing a man if we are willing to have sex with him or not.

Sorry but I'm going to have to disagree with this statement. Depending on how the planets are aligned each day, I may or may not change my mind about everything.

 

[ZARA]

That wasn't the question, now, was it?

The question was Claire and her quest for a mate, not Good Time Charlie. Ha.

psst This is where you and I got started...
post 16

Quote Originally Posted by Larry Gude View Post
No, she's not. 'Claire' isn't even looking. As per Mike's recollection of the conversation and knowing her as a friend, he is saying she rejects everything out of hand. "Why not him?" "Not my type" "How do you know?"
...
That's not to say you didn't have a very strong idea of what you were looking for but, you were at least willing to do test drives even if they didn't seem like your 'type' on the showroom floor.

Sorry Dear...That part is a bad example. I know guys don't understand this part of the female mentality, but we really do know within 5 seconds of seeing a man if we are willing to have sex with him or not. That's why I left that part of the conversation out of my reply. If we aren't willing to have sex with him, he isn't our type.

View attachment 102883

You have my undivided attention.

Hmmmm......

You wouldn't happen to be one of those people that shout from the mountain tops that the MOST IMPORTANT thing about a man is their "sense of humor" or their "sensitivity" would you?

I ask because this sounds very much like the FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT thing that you acknowledge in a man is PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS!

The simple fact is that women condemn men for using physical attractivness as the first and primary reason for approaching a woman (and those men that say no.... are LYING) however, it appears from the replies on here that women do the very same thing.

So please spare me the future bull about sense of humor. EVERYONE knows that looks are what attracts people to potential mates. PERIOD!

Actually, my husband's sexy smile and sexybutt is what attracted me. It was his sense of humor, morals, beliefs, and common sense that made me fall in love with him.

 

[vraiblonde]

My guy and I developed a relationship via email because he was traipsing through Europe at the time of our connection. I had an idea of what he looked like from his POF photos, plus I'd met him briefly last year at a party (he was there with another woman so I didn't really pay attention). Our attraction was very much personality driven. As luck would have it, it turned out that he's also hot.

We clicked immediately.

Like, immediately.

There was a brief discussion of intent on our second date but that was a formality/clarification because we both knew, and we've been suctioned to each others' ass ever since.

So no, SGP, it's not about looks.

And yes, women know within seconds whether they would sleep with a guy or not. We don't even have to talk to him first, just observe his demeanor and body language. Or read his emails, as the case may be.

 

[lucky_bee]

You don't know any women who are happy with a guy they couldn't stand the first time they met them?

Yes, but personality wise. Same goes for all my friends. I've never been the type to be like "he MUST have blonde hair, MUST be at LEAST 5'11", must not be wearing flip flops, must have blue eyes". Of course I have preferences, but I'd never write a guy off bc he doesn't immediately meet them. But I still need some kind of physical attraction before I continue talking to the guy. I need to at least see potential physically, but the personality and getting to know him is what'd do it for me in keeping it long term.

View attachment 102883

you've lost weight

 

[lucky_bee]

Hmmmm......

You wouldn't happen to be one of those people that shout from the mountain tops that the MOST IMPORTANT thing about a man is their "sense of humor" or their "sensitivity" would you?

I ask because this sounds very much like the FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT thing that you acknowledge in a man is PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS!

The simple fact is that women condemn men for using physical attractivness as the first and primary reason for approaching a woman (and those men that say no.... are LYING) however, it appears from the replies on here that women do the very same thing.

So please spare me the future bull about sense of humor. EVERYONE knows that looks are what attracts people to potential mates. PERIOD!

I don't condemn men for that bc I feel that way too. There's no point for a guy to approach me at the bar to buy me a drink if he's not physically attracted to me. And to be honest, I'm not going to accept a drink from a guy that I am not at least somewhat, physically attracted to. They're going to expect me to sit and chat in return for said drink and if I have zero physical grab to you, I'm going to politely decline. However if some good-looking guy DOES buy me a drink, and his conversation/charm/charimsa skills are immediately lacking, I'll finish that drink and move on. :shrug: Why waste everyone's time?

 

[SG_Player1974]

I had an idea of what he looked like from his POF photos, plus I'd met him briefly last year at a party

So no, SGP, it's not about looks.

Hmmmm....... Interesting. So you say that you had seen photos of the man... and even met him..... but looks had nothing to do with it huh?

 

[vraiblonde]

Hmmmm....... Interesting. So you say that you had seen photos of the man... and even met him..... but looks had nothing to do with it huh?

Believe what you want.

 

[SG_Player1974]

I don't condemn men for that bc I feel that way too. There's no point for a guy to approach me at the bar to buy me a drink if he's not physically attracted to me. And to be honest, I'm not going to accept a drink from a guy that I am not at least somewhat, physically attracted to. They're going to expect me to sit and chat in return for said drink and if I have zero physical grab to you, I'm going to politely decline. However if some good-looking guy DOES buy me a drink, and his conversation/charm/charimsa skills are immediately lacking, I'll finish that drink and move on. :shrug: Why waste everyone's time?

Exactly!

My point is that it is a two-faced system. You can even see it on some of the posts on this forum. In one thread, an individual is saying that "I am only attracted to a man if they have a good sense of humor" or there are polls for what is the most desired trait and it is "sensitivity" or "sense of humor" etc...

But that SAME person will post in another thread on the same topic that "I know if I am going to sleep with them within 5 seconds!"

Uhhh.. which one is it. Cause I doubt you can judge if that guy has a great sense of humor in 5 seconds!

 

[SG_Player1974]

Believe what you want.

Listen... Im happy that you found someone you click with. It is rare to do so now-a-days BUT,

I prefer to call it like it is based on the truth. Whether you admit it or not, his looks played a role (big role?) in your initial willingness to get together. Its not a BAD thing... but it is there.

 

[sockgirl77]

It's too late for that... I've given up on the gym and everything healthy... too much SoMD influence.

...

 

[vraiblonde]

Listen... Im happy that you found someone you click with. It is rare to do so now-a-days BUT,

I prefer to call it like it is based on the truth. Whether you admit it or not, his looks played a role (big role?) in your initial willingness to get together. Its not a BAD thing... but it is there.

Like I said, believe what you want.

He is adorable, but that's not what set him apart from all the other adorable men out there. I will suggest, however, that men who perceive themselves as physically unattractive lack self-confidence, and that is what makes women uninterested. So it's not really how women see you, but more how you see yourself that matters. Self-confidence is ALWAYS attractive. Always.

 

[Bann]

I always said I didn't know what I wanted in a mate, as much as I knew what I DIDN'T want in one.

I am different. Very different. I wasn't looking for another mate. I was focused on being a good mother, albeit a divorced one. One big reason is I didn't want a revolving door of men at my house, because I didn't want to do that to my sons, but I was really just not interested in putting any effort or time, much less the emotion, into dating. I also have an adult disabled son, so I am pretty much a package deal. I was not willing to put anyone before him or my (then) minor son.

I was also not interested in sleeping around. I took a lot of criticism from *some* people (people not really my friends -because my friends didn't criticize me) who thought I was a stick in the mud or whatever, that I needed to not only sleep around but get out whenever I could... but I stuck to my principles and was comfortable in my own skin.

My soulmate pretty much dropped out of the sky, came out of nowhere. I didn't even pay attention at first. (in my defense, that was because of Thing1&Thing2 and also my mom was very ill & had come to live with me.

He is my soulmate, and while I never wasted time looking for "the perfect guy", he is everything I always thought I would want in a guy and is perfect for me. He apparently thought I was perfect for him, too -(package deal and all) as we just got engaged 2 wks ago.

 

[Bann]

Like I said, believe what you want.

He is adorable, but that's not what set him apart from all the other adorable men out there. I will suggest, however, that men who perceive themselves as physically unattractive lack self-confidence, and that is what makes women uninterested. So it's not really how women see you, but more how you see yourself that matters. Self-confidence is ALWAYS attractive. Always.

 

[warneckutz]

You have my undivided attention.

you've lost weight

It's the shirt, green makes me look skinny!