You and I know a certain someone who's expectation level has always been above his reality level. Now I will admit he found someone post surgery and did get married. It's like when she hit her goal weight she didn't even kick him to the curb, she just packed up and left him with her dying mother, took her kids one of whom the youngest knew him as her father. Now this is the nicest, kindest man on earth you and I both know that and in truth he is a great catch but in his mind he wants a barbie. This makes his expectation level higher than his reality level. If he would ponder the fact that not all good things come in barbie sized boxes, I am pretty confident he would be happy and have a pack full of kids. To keep the same line of thinking he once had only attracts thing and that is a Goldigger.
Equating a job to marriage
- Thread starter vraiblonde
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You and I know a certain someone who's expectation level has always been above his reality level. Now I will admit he found someone post surgery and did get married. It's like when she hit her goal weight she didn't even kick him to the curb, she just packed up and left him with her dying mother, took her kids one of whom the youngest knew him as her father. Now this is the nicest, kindest man on earth you and I both know that and in truth he is a great catch but in his mind he wants a barbie. This makes his expectation level higher than his reality level. If he would ponder the fact that not all good things come in barbie sized boxes, I am pretty confident he would be happy and have a pack full of kids. To keep the same line of thinking he once had only attracts thing and that is a Goldigger.
lucky_bee
RBF expert
I agree with what you're saying here. I need some kind of initial attraction to want to keep going. But that's just me.
You should read that old Nice Guys thread. I guarentee these gentlemen fall in that category. You wouldn't know the behind-the-scenes mistakes they're making bc you're not actually dating them.
MarieB
New Member
I have to honest with you here that since you have found "Mr. Right" your whole perspective on relationships, the posts people make and what used to be your loveable sarcastic if you don't like your life change it has done a 180 degree turn. I am happy that you found someone and that you created boundaries and stuck with online dating.
Please don't lose your hutzpa now that you are in love. I am still madly and completely in love with my ex, He didn't want us anymore, I can honestly say he was the first person who I ever felt unconditional love with and almost a year later from our breakup I cannot imagine anyone even coming close to him. I placed a few ad's but I have been on two dates and then I just couldn't do it anymore. I don't sit around crying 24/7 but I honestly cannot fathom ever finding anyone else that holds a candle to him.
So stop being so damn mushy gushy and tell me to f...n get over the past.
I don't know what to say to you besides "believe what you want". You are not going to convince me because I have first-hand evidence that what you're saying is not true. Not only have I dated physically unattractive men, but I have friends who've done so as well.
Steve Buscemi is ugly. Tom Petty is ugly. Willem Dafoe. Lyle Lovett. Quentin Tarantino. John C. Reilly. Hollywood is filled with seriously ugly men who get the hot chicks with no problem. Physical attractiveness is clearly not the initial appeal. Mira Sorvino did not look at Quentin Tarantino and go, "Damn, that's a fine looking man," before she ran off with him. Ditto Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett. Something else was the initial attraction.
But, again, believe what you want.
Larry Gude
Strung Out
It takes time, on average 18 months, for people to get over being in love with someone. Some sooner, some longer, some, never.
I don't get how you could be madly and completely and unconditionally in love with someone, be married and it not work.
You will. There are a million great guys out there and in time the memory of the ex will fade and you'll find one. I lost count of how many aholes I got involved with, but I also dated some really super guys who just weren't the right one for me. But I still liked my life just fine, with or without male enhancement. So my advice stands: make your life what you want it to be first. That way you don't hook up with some douche out of necessity, and can be available for when the right guy rolls into town.
It's only been a year. In time you will f..n get over the past. I've met you, so I know that you're cute and funny and smart and don't NEED!!
a man to complete you. You're just feeling insecure and need the reassurance. 
Cheeky1
Yae warsh wif' wutr
A Fan Asks Mike Rowe For Life Advice… His Response Is Truly Brilliant.
Hey Mike!
Your analogy sucks. Claire is not looking for *a* man, she is looking for THE man. It's not like finding a job where any one will do because you can leave after a year if you don't like it. If the goal is simply to get married, hell, just pull some idiot off a bar stool and head for the courthouse. If the goal is true love and companionship, that takes a little longer and you have to be patient.
And let me tell you, genuine love and compatibility does exist and is absolutely worth waiting for. There is nothing as wonderful as finding the right seat for your ass.
Mike didn't equate a job to marriage. I don't know where you pulled that from either. Care to enlighten me?
sockgirl77
Well-Known Member
He had her police-escorted out after she beat the shiat out of him AFTER he caught her cheating on him. He's happy married to another woman now. She's around his age, owns her own business, and is mentally stable. And you are wrong about him, he's never looked for a Barbie. He just had a taste for younger chicks. They were his midlife crisis.
ZARA
Registered User
I call
If that was true ugly people and fat people would never breed.
I decided to be mean and leave my reply short sighted...let the drama begin!
Pete
Repete
I call
If that was true ugly people and fat people would never breed.
I decided to be mean and leave my reply short sighted...let the drama begin!
Tom Petty and Bob Dylan are prime examples.
Hank
my war
Yeah, but they are rich, ugly dudes. Money makes you better looking to all the shallow ladies out there.
But we agree that looks aren't the primary attraction to those men, right?
Hank
my war
Yup. And I know plenty of couples, that when you look at the dude compared to the chick, you think how in the hell he pulled that.
But the reverse is not true, unless you count good looking black men with trashy white trailer buffaloes, which is a phenomenon I could never figure out. It's common to see beautiful women with average or below men; almost unheard of to see a good looking man with a dumpy frumpy woman; and so common it's cliche to see a black man with a white woman who isn't even within spitting distance of his physical equal.
Hank
my war
Well, I know some dudes whose wives took a turn for the worse after marriage and kids and they stay with them. I guess a little thing called child support deters them.
libertytyranny
Dream Stealer
I see this too and I think its sort of sad. I mean, yeah youre busy and have other important matters to attend to, but it doesnt mean you have to totally neglect yourself. I have two jobs, a three year old and graduate classes..and I can find time for runs and haircuts and swiping some concelaer on my dark eyes
I wouldnt want my spouse to get fat and nasty so I wouldn't do it to him.
Larry Gude
Strung Out
This is the dumbest tread, ever. Or, at least today.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, period. As long as that person is the apple of your eye, that's it, that's all there is. What anyone else wants to argue it is, is, at best, subjective.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, period. As long as that person is the apple of your eye, that's it, that's all there is. What anyone else wants to argue it is, is, at best, subjective.