flirting when married

[vraiblonde]

Than I guess it is OK to have argument, get a divorce, re evaluate your relationship????????????????????????????

Well what is an alternative? If SO gets bent when you're merely being friendly, not suggestive or coming on, are you supposed to cut yourself off from humanity and never speak to another living soul again for fear SO will have a fit?

Irrational jealousy is their problem, not yours. So a re-evaluation is in order on both parts. A: Why am I so irrationally jealous? And B: Do I want to be with a person who is so irrationally jealous?

 

[Justme2]

Well what is an alternative? If SO gets bent when you're merely being friendly, not suggestive or coming on, are you supposed to cut yourself off from humanity and never speak to another living soul again for fear SO will have a fit?

Irrational jealousy is their problem, not yours. So a re-evaluation is in order on both parts. A: Why am I so irrationally jealous? And B: Do I want to be with a person who is so irrationally jealous?

I AGREE, but it draws to a conclusion that someone does not trust their SO. If someone is flirting and your SO doesn't like it "I say so what" but most don't!!!
They want a agrument etc.

 

[bcp]

yeah I had that happen in a bar one night ........ I was leaning against the bar (guess my ass was sticking out ..... ) when I felt this hand slid up my butt ... I turned around there were these 2 very cute girls standing there .... the girl with the dark brown her, with a guilty grin stated, well it was sticking out there .... and walked off with her friend


I should have chased after her, but I was just in too much shock to do anything but fart (with a big stupid grin on my face) as they walked off ....

corrected for accuracy

 

[FED_UP]

Looking is ok too as long as nothing but your eyes wander...

But when SO cathces you looking they get pissed, is thay why I see so many people at the beach with shades on? Another killer, you get accused of looking when your not even looking....

 

[FED_UP]

Looking is ok too as long as nothing but your eyes wander...

SO is a huge flirt. It doesn't really bother me..he's just that kinda person. And I am not against flirting to get free drinks or discounts on stuff, and I flirt a bit at work, it's good for morale

But there is a difference between flirting, ie light chatter, joking with each other etc, and coming on to someone.

Women get away with so much stuff, money, jobs, drinks, etc etc etc,,, just because they got T and A. I am going to get a sex change dammit . Umma get a butt like Ines Sainz, breast like Pamel Anderson and lips Gina Gershon.

 

[FED_UP]

Well what is an alternative? If SO gets bent when you're merely being friendly, not suggestive or coming on, are you supposed to cut yourself off from humanity and never speak to another living soul again for fear SO will have a fit?

Irrational jealousy is their problem, not yours. So a re-evaluation is in order on both parts. A: Why am I so irrationally jealous? And B: Do I want to be with a person who is so irrationally jealous?

Well who wants to be with an insane jealous person, but what if they were not that way until a few years later, so your stuck, maybe. I mean people have killed over relationships. I think this type of person sees it more as disrespect too. Flirting is fun as long as you not trying to score a piece. I bet hardly anyone flirts when there SO is with them.

 

[Cowgirl]

Lemme c if i can say this halfway rite.

Oh darn, looks like you didn't make it. Maybe next time!

 

[eagle3]

hi

Depends. Some people are naturally flirty and it's just the way they are - completely harmless. Then there are those - like me - who only flirt when they mean business, and therefore wouldn't do it while married. I don't know as marital happiness really has anything to do with it. It's more of a personality thing.

Everything depends of what you think.

 

[poster]

it never hurts to look at the menu, as long as you go home to eat.

True but looking and "flirting" are two different things.
I don't think it's ok to flirt with someone married nor is it ok for someone married to flirt.

Everyone's definition of flirting varies though.
We have friends we spend time and all of us know that whatever is said is in jest, nothing is serious. Those that don't know that may take it as flirting. :shrug:

 

[LadyWolf]

My personal opinion on flirting as a single person, it's fine. Flirt w/single people. As a married person, why do you feel the need to flirt? You can view it as being "CONFIDENT" which is a load of crap. All it does is CREATE insecurities in your SO. It means you need attention from someone other than your spouse OR you aren't getting any attention from your spouse! It means you really aren't that happy in the relationship and there are some issues. Sometimes...there are those people who just do it to get a reaction from their spouse. They WANT them to be jealous... perhaps to show they care and give a damn. One sure way to make your SO insecure, flirt with other people. Think about it people. You should be "CONFIDENT" that your spouse is true blue and has absolutely no reason to flirt with other people. As soon as the flirting begins...it raises a red flag!!! DUH!!

 

[retiredweaxman]

Great response LADYWOLF!!!

 

[migtig]

You know, I really think it all depends on your personal definition of "flirting".

Is "flirting" licking your lips, rubbing another person's arm/leg? If so, then it's a problem for anybody in a relationship and shows there are other issues in that relationship.

Is "flirting" smiling at somebody of the opposite sex, holding a conversation with them, joking around? If so, then I don't see the problem with it.

I think casual conversations among people get blown way out of proportion by people who are jealous/insecure about their relationships. :shrug:

I found this article online:
Flirting tips,online flirting,signs of flirting,flirting guide at FlirtingTipsQA
"Flirting is often used as a means of expressing interest and gauging the other person's interest in courtship, which can continue into long term relationships. Alternatively, it may simply be a prelude to casual sex with no continuing relationship.

In other situations, it may be done simply for immediate entertainment, with no intention of developing any further relationship. This type of flirting sometimes faces disapproval from others, either because it can be misinterpreted as more serious, or it may be viewed as "cheating" if the person is already in a romantic relationship with someone else. "


And this article too:
SIRC Guide to flirting
"Flirting is much more than just a bit of fun: it is a universal and essential aspect of human interaction. Anthropological research shows that flirting is to be found, in some form, in all cultures and societies around the world.
...
At one level, you can flirt with more or less anyone. An exchange of admiring glances or a bit of light-hearted flirtatious banter can brighten the day, raise self-esteem and strengthen social bonds. Flirtation at this level is harmless fun, and only the stuffiest killjoys could possibly have any objections. "

 

[vraiblonde]

My personal opinion on flirting as a single person, it's fine. Flirt w/single people. As a married person, why do you feel the need to flirt?

But again, as Mig just pointed out and so have others, it depends on what your definition of "flirting" is. Because some people get bent when their beloved merely talks to the opposite sex and is casually friendly. Certainly you've known people like this.

So OP needs to be clearer on what she considers "flirting" so we can more accurately determine who's the ass in the situation.

 

[LadyWolf]

You know, I really think it all depends on your personal definition of "flirting".

Is "flirting" licking your lips, rubbing another person's arm/leg? If so, then it's a problem for anybody in a relationship and shows there are other issues in that relationship.

Is "flirting" smiling at somebody of the opposite sex, holding a conversation with them, joking around? If so, then I don't see the problem with it.

I think casual conversations among people get blown way out of proportion by people who are jealous/insecure about their relationships. :shrug:

I found this article online:
Flirting tips,online flirting,signs of flirting,flirting guide at FlirtingTipsQA
"Flirting is often used as a means of expressing interest and gauging the other person's interest in courtship, which can continue into long term relationships. Alternatively, it may simply be a prelude to casual sex with no continuing relationship.

In other situations, it may be done simply for immediate entertainment, with no intention of developing any further relationship. This type of flirting sometimes faces disapproval from others, either because it can be misinterpreted as more serious, or it may be viewed as "cheating" if the person is already in a romantic relationship with someone else. "


And this article too:
SIRC Guide to flirting
"Flirting is much more than just a bit of fun: it is a universal and essential aspect of human interaction. Anthropological research shows that flirting is to be found, in some form, in all cultures and societies around the world.
...
At one level, you can flirt with more or less anyone. An exchange of admiring glances or a bit of light-hearted flirtatious banter can brighten the day, raise self-esteem and strengthen social bonds. Flirtation at this level is harmless fun, and only the stuffiest killjoys could possibly have any objections. "

But again, as Mig just pointed out and so have others, it depends on what your definition of "flirting" is. Because some people get bent when their beloved merely talks to the opposite sex and is casually friendly. Certainly you've known people like this.

So OP needs to be clearer on what she considers "flirting" so we can more accurately determine who's the ass in the situation.

It doesn't matter!!! What part of FLIRTING does anyone NOT UNDERSTAND? The purpose of flirting is to get attention. Certain eye contact, body language, etc. People aren't stupid, you know the signs. YOU CAN TELL when your other half is FLIRTING. If you can't...then there is a problem. Talking is talking. If you find someone attractive, and they speak to you and smile, you're gonna smile back because you find them attractive. If you or the other person goes out of their way to speak or make eye contact, then that poses for a red flag. If I'm at a party w/my husband and I zero in on some woman admiring my husband and he doesn't notice or doesn't acknowledge her, then fine. If he notices and I see mutual eye contact or some form of mutual acknowledgment...then that's flirting and it's an insult to me.

 

[vraiblonde]

It doesn't matter!!! What part of FLIRTING does anyone NOT UNDERSTAND? The purpose of flirting is to get attention. Certain eye contact, body language, etc. People aren't stupid, you know the signs.

That is YOUR definition of flirting. Indeed there are people who think casual conversation is "flirting". I had a female friend who used to lose her mind when her boyfriend would be polite to the waitress. I used to date a guy who insisted that me talking to his friend for 30 seconds on the phone to get information was "flirting". You don't smile and be pleasant to people solely because you want to boink them - most of the time it's simply common courtesy.

That's why I'm saying that I'd like to know exactly what OP considers flirting before I make a judgment call.

 

[Larry Gude]

It doesn't matter!!! What part of FLIRTING does anyone NOT UNDERSTAND? The purpose of flirting is to get attention. Certain eye contact, body language, etc. People aren't stupid, you know the signs. YOU CAN TELL when your other half is FLIRTING. If you can't...then there is a problem. Talking is talking. If you find someone attractive, and they speak to you and smile, you're gonna smile back because you find them attractive. If you or the other person goes out of their way to speak or make eye contact, then that poses for a red flag. If I'm at a party w/my husband and I zero in on some woman admiring my husband and he doesn't notice or doesn't acknowledge her, then fine. If he notices and I see mutual eye contact or some form of mutual acknowledgment...then that's flirting and it's an insult to me.

As was mentioned earlier in thie thread, some people are just flirty and nothing is meant by it thus there is coming on to people and just flirting; two TOTALLY different things.

 

[toppick08]

Everybody flirts......esp. married women...

 

[migtig]

If I'm at a party w/my husband and I zero in on some woman admiring my husband and he doesn't notice or doesn't acknowledge her, then fine. If he notices and I see mutual eye contact or some form of mutual acknowledgment...then that's flirting and it's an insult to me.

Wow. If your husband makes eye contact with another woman...you deem that flirting. Wow.

I just feel really bad for your husband.

 

[FED_UP]

That is YOUR definition of flirting. Indeed there are people who think casual conversation is "flirting". I had a female friend who used to lose her mind when her boyfriend would be polite to the waitress. I used to date a guy who insisted that me talking to his friend for 30 seconds on the phone to get information was "flirting". You don't smile and be pleasant to people solely because you want to boink them - most of the time it's simply common courtesy.

That's why I'm saying that I'd like to know exactly what OP considers flirting before I make a judgment call.

Are you talking for the ladies or men when you said that, I think for men about 90% of the time its is because we want to boink.

 

[FED_UP]

It doesn't matter!!! What part of FLIRTING does anyone NOT UNDERSTAND? The purpose of flirting is to get attention. Certain eye contact, body language, etc. People aren't stupid, you know the signs. YOU CAN TELL when your other half is FLIRTING. If you can't...then there is a problem. Talking is talking. If you find someone attractive, and they speak to you and smile, you're gonna smile back because you find them attractive. If you or the other person goes out of their way to speak or make eye contact, then that poses for a red flag. If I'm at a party w/my husband and I zero in on some woman admiring my husband and he doesn't notice or doesn't acknowledge her, then fine. If he notices and I see mutual eye contact or some form of mutual acknowledgment...then that's flirting and it's an insult to me.

How many pair of shades does your SO own? Why do people wear shades when their is no bright light or sun, eyes can say a LOT.