Speaking of problems, after violating his gentle pre-trial release conditions and then being ordered back to jail, plump tech bro Sam Bankman-Fried can’t seem to catch a break. Now his problem is cruel and unusual punishment. The AP ran the story Tuesday, headlined “
Jailed Sam Bankman-Fried can’t prepare for trial without vegan diet and adequate meds, lawyers say.”
Judge Kaplan had revoked Sam’s pre-trial release and ordered the prosperous tech bro jailed after concluding there was probable cause to believe Sam was busily tampering with witnesses.
According to his lawyers’ complaints to the judge on Monday, the failed crypto-giant and FTX founder is
hungry and
distracted. Apparently the young tech ‘entrepreneur’ can’t adequately prepare for trial in six weeks, because he is languishing in jail without proper access to computers, video games, non-prescription Adderall to help him focus, and a better diet than bread, water and peanut butter.
Okay, I added video games. But we all
know it’s true.
The reason Sam is only eating bread, water, and peanut butter is because the delicate genius eschews meat. He’s a vegan or something. Flesh makes him vomit. Allegedly.
You’d think a real vegan would be a little slimmer and better focused. Weird.
Bankman-Fried, 31, is accused of stealing
billions of dollars in FTX customer deposits, spending tens of millions on his businesses, speculative venture investments, sketchy charitable donations, and making illegal campaign contributions aimed at influencing cryptocurrency regulation in Washington and electing democrats.
As I’ve noted before, Sam never created
anything before launching his failed multi-billion-dollar crypto company. The whole thing stinks. It has a very Jeffrey Epstein-esque stench to it. Not the human trafficking part, the propped-up-by-intelligence-agencies part.
Anyway, the judge denied Sam access to computers, but said she would order necessary medications and allow a diet closer to his vegan preferences.
So don’t feel too sorry for Sam. He’s doing fine. He’ll choke down whatever veggies they give him, don’t worry. He’s tough. Sort of. Well, not really.
“If you can’t do the time, don’t do the …” something. I can’t remember.
Multiplier; thoughts about the debates/interview; goodbye Prighozin, or is it?; BRICS balloons; media rescues Big Pharma, again; Hawaii killed people with roadblocks; SBF suffers; Big Law woes; more.
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